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I have two children and recently found out that I'm pregnant again. It wasn't planned, and neither of us wanted anymore. It seemed logical that a termination was the best way to go, for many reasons, I don't need to justify them here. However, when attending the counselling session, I realised that I don't want a termination. My partner though, doesn't see it like that, he says he can't support my decision, as he's so anti having another child (his reasons are fair, I agree it's not ideal right now). He says that if I continue with the pregnancy, he might be forced to leave, or worse still, stay for the two children we already have, but not help me at all with the pregnancy, or the new baby, until something long term can be established.

I love him, we've been through alot, and I'm not ready to lose him. But I'm not able to go through something like that against my will. I'm torn, and really don't know what to do. Sensible answers only please, this is my life.

2006-12-06 05:43:40 · 10 answers · asked by Anon 4 in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

10 answers

I hope you make the right decision.

http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-pOypG0szd7Pv_X1rQxw_4qCWpA--?cq=1&p=234

2006-12-06 05:49:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

Its very difficult to answer this question as only you know the reasons why your Partner has made this decision. If for financial reasons, then I know what you mean, when we had our first baby we hardly had any money, but you cope and you budget as long as two people love and respect each other. My opinion for what it is worth I think you need to have a good look at your relationship, why is he putting this pressure on you, in that if you have this baby he will leave. Surely you need him there to support you, you have to work this through together.You say you have been through a lot together but you need to sort out your relationship first. A lot of people think having a baby will sort everything out and it doesn't work like that. You both have to be committed. You say you understand his reasons but does he understand your reasons?. You can always put obstacles in the way of having a baby. I am not against termination but you have to make this choice together and giving you ultimatums is not the answer. Good luck in the decision you make but you have to be 100% sure that you want the termination.

2006-12-06 17:38:06 · answer #2 · answered by radiant 2 · 0 0

I was in the opposite predicament I had a termination and my partner wanted the baby but he went with my decision, I deeply regret, I hope you can work on your partner I wouldn't advise a termination if you have doubts I actually regret having mine and it has affected me mentally years later the guilt never went away, if you have the termination you will resent your partner for pushing you into it anyway, but he could soften when the babies born if hes that type of bloke I mean who could look at a baby and say oh I wish I'd never had you,you should have been terminated!!! That's your baby inside of you its your decision could you face life as a single mother? a lot of my friends are single parents and do a brilliant job, I do agree with termination but only if your 100 per cent sure which obviously you arent! You ve GOT to make him see reason after all it takes two to tango, good luck I hope everything works out well for you

2006-12-06 06:44:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

i would go through with the pregnancy if that's WHAT YOU WANT at the end of the day if you have a termination you have to live with that decision.make the right choice for YOURSELF clearly your man has made up his mind and is not giving a dam what your thinking or going through. if he doesn't want to help raise your child then what the hell its his loss.

good luck hope you make the right decision

2006-12-06 06:36:33 · answer #4 · answered by lydia 1 · 0 0

This guy is a total ***!!!!! He doesnt deserve to have you or his kids. That is your decision! He wants to act like that, id go for every dime i could of child support. He diddled, he has to deal with the consequences. it is not perfect timing hardly ever, but you should not terminate. Worst case scenario in my eyes is to give it up for adoption.You dont want a guy like this. He acts as if its all your fault. Boot himm to the curb, take your two babies, and take him to court for child support and help with all 3. I wanna kick him in the nuts!

2006-12-06 06:00:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

u would have a termination 4 a bloke i mean come on theres plenty more fish in the sea! but then u gta feel right 2 dnt just choose 2 if u dnt wnt 2 remember its u carrying the baby no1 else!

2006-12-06 06:34:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Do you really want to have a child with someone who doesn't want you to continue your pregnancy? You should ask yourself these questions, because I don't think he really cares! If he can't support your decision, then why are you with him? If he doesn't want to support you throughout your pregnancy, leave him alone and move on! You deserve better! Good luck!

2006-12-06 06:23:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

adoption is an option..and sorry but your "partner" sounds like an ***.hole if he is threatening to leave and have nothing to do with the baby he created. I doubt he really loves you

2006-12-06 05:53:49 · answer #8 · answered by goldengirl 4 · 1 0

if he cannot respect your wishes to keep the baby and love the child he help make then you have to question yourself does he really love me

2006-12-06 05:53:09 · answer #9 · answered by ~Ta-Ta Licious~ 7 · 0 0

consider adoption? I know a loving couple that would adopt your child!

2006-12-06 05:46:45 · answer #10 · answered by me4tennessee 6 · 0 1

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