My baby daddyand I have been off and on for two years, he still hasn't seen our daughter(I live in CA & he's in Louisiana) now we're not together but he called me saying he's put all he badways(hitting me & cheating on me) behind him and he wants to marry me and settle down, I still love him but I don't want to be with him (he had a baby outside of our relationship when we were still together so that's why I don't want to be with him) But if I don't be with him he says he doesn't want anyhting to do with our daughter. What should I do?
2006-12-06 05:24:14 · 18 answers · asked by alexiakp 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You would be a FOOL if you go back to him. He is a loser, abuser, cheater and a liar. WHy would you consider raising you child with an assshole like that. You have been doing well without him this far...dont mess up now. How dare he bluntly tell you he will not be a father to his child if yuor not with him. DROP THAT ZERO for good!!!
2006-12-06 05:27:25 · answer #1 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, let's put it this way. If he won't have anything to do with your daughter just because you don't want to be with him, then he's obviously not interested in being a father in the first place. My ex is kinda the same way. He's always been a big flirt and player, but says if I got back with him things would change. However, when I continuously tell him there's not a chance of that happening, he's not so interested in coming over "to see his daughter" as often. He's just looking to have you on the sidelines, just someone he can go back to when he's got no one else. I say your daughter is better off without him. I certainly wouldn't pressure him to be a part of her life if that's not what he wants. Don't worry about him, just do your own thing and concentrate on you and your daughter only. That's all that matters. I guarantee he hasn't changed his ways at all.
2006-12-06 13:32:00 · answer #2 · answered by angelbaby 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your not going to be happy with him or the relationship, you shouldn't be with him. Don't do it just for your child. If you are only together for her and it does not work out, then you'll cause her more pain. Marry someone you love, that loves you and your daughter. Marry them for the right reasons and you will both be happy. Getting together or staying together for the sake of a child will only hurt the child when the relationship falls apart. Good luck.
2006-12-06 13:31:59 · answer #3 · answered by BooBoo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just him saying that makes me want to slap him. First of all it seems his daughter is a tool to him to be used to gain his wishes. He beat you before and as he has shown NO regard for his daughter whatsoever he would probably use her to hurt you further. I say you can do much better then the likes of him. He will abuse BOTH you and your daughter. Wait for the right guy. You will recognize him when you meet him. He will be the one who is kind and loves both you and your daughter and guess what? He will NEVER hurt either of you.
2006-12-06 13:30:35 · answer #4 · answered by The_answer_person 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My older sister had the same situation. Her boyfriend she had a baby with cheated on her and hit her. She was unhappy all those years she was with him. But she split with him a few years later and it was hard for her to raise my nephew, but it was less damaging in the long run. (Think of all those fights you can avoid. Trust issues..) You can give him another chance, but he sounds like another K-Fed to me. If he did make a change for some miraculous reason (he found Jesus). Then go for it. But if you don't want to be with him, (it sounds like) then you should sue him for child support. Good luck. Please don't settle for K-Fed's twin.
2006-12-06 13:34:09 · answer #5 · answered by Noneyabusiness 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that men can change but not all of them do. It's up to you whether you can live with his past actions.
I know it may seem like that best thing to be with your daugher's father, but that may not be the case. Besides, do you really see yourself with him in the future? Will he make a good father and husband? Will he support and treat you the way you deserve?
Good luck and take care of that baby.
2006-12-06 13:26:51 · answer #6 · answered by Smiles 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesnt sound like he has changed much if he is giving you that type of ultimatum....if you love him try being in a relationship with him for a while and she how he acts and also to see if you still want him...dont rush to get married you have your whole life to do that...and dont mary becuz of the kid, becuz i know allot of kids that are messed up more that grew up in a family than kids that are raised by a single parent...a good up bringing is not solely determined by being in a family it is determined by being in a good family....whether the good family is a mother and father just a mother or just a father it doesnt matter
2006-12-06 13:30:46 · answer #7 · answered by the one 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A sperm does not a father make. Your ex-bf is a sperm donor, not a father. Get some education; get a good job. Be a good mom to your daughter. She doesn't need an abusive, cheating father. She needs a good home. Give her one!
2006-12-06 13:53:19 · answer #8 · answered by servinggodalone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh ****, i live in La. what part? seriously?) i say hell no! why take someone back like that, ive bin with a chick who left me for that relationship, and all he wants is to control you, if he loved you he would not touch you unless its for love. those kinda guys dont deserve a 2nd chance even if they changed, they NEED to learn their lesson, TRUST ME ON THIS, IF HES HIT YOU, DROP HIM. and honestly wouldnt you rather get a new husband and he can be your daughters dad. its not who made it, its who raised it thats the parent.
2006-12-06 13:28:18 · answer #9 · answered by john d 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't be with him. If he isn't interested in being with his own daughter, you are not doing her any favors by marrying him so he will have to see her! What kind of "man" tries to blackmail someone into being with him by using their own child as bait?
2006-12-06 13:27:02 · answer #10 · answered by Aloe-ish-us 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋