I'm torn between morality and logic. My exhusband hasn't paid his child support in over 3 months (not a PENNY), he's given up 2 days a week with them. My dilema is this - do I spend money on a gift so the kids can buy him a christmas present? The kids LOVE getting gifts for people, and I've always tried to teach them that Christmas is about giving.....what do I do when giving means going above and beyond what I think is logical? HELP!!!!
2006-12-06 05:10:53 · 22 answers · asked by thelilred_whocould 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The gift wouldn't be from me - it would be from the kids to their dad. They're 9 and 5...they don't exactly have jobs to pay for it themselves, lol
2006-12-06 05:13:59 · update #1
To Ana G....Christmas ~IS~ about giving - did God not ~give~ his son to this earth? Thank you for your concern, I appreciate it, but I do teach my children that Christ is the center of Christmas..however my beliefs didn't really fit in this category. :)
2006-12-06 05:53:13 · update #2
Have the kids make something for his gift. You're not really throwing a lot of money you don't have out there, and he's not providing support (which personally, he shouldn't get a gift, but it is from the kids). The kids shouldn't be punished by not being allowed to give their father (even if a deadbeat) a gift for christmas... assuming that it's by their choice to do so.
Spend the money on yourself and your kids instead, or, put it aside for when you really need it... it seems obvious he won't step up to the plate
2006-12-06 05:14:47 · answer #1 · answered by bilko_ca 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The idea of making the kids make something for their dad is very good, you should do that, but you shouldn't tell your kids that christmas is about giving, it is Jesus birthday, and it just be about being together, being nice with each other but more than giving gifts. I am not a crazy religius person but many people forgot that Christmas is about Jesus birth and not about expending money on gifts.
2006-12-06 05:26:29 · answer #2 · answered by Marisa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a very nice thought. But, no. He isn't giving to his children. So why should they give to him. If he payed his child support you know it would be easier for you and THE KIDS. If you do decide to do this. Wait until the kids receive their presents from dad. then give him his. If you just give him this gift, the kids will feel their dad doesn't care about them. How does it make you feel to give and not receive? Now put that in your babies thoughts. Very hurtfull.
2006-12-06 06:36:14 · answer #3 · answered by d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't spend a penny on him. Have your children pick out gifts for other kids through an "Adopt a kid for Christmas" program and donate the gifts to them. Tell them they are helping someone who really needs it.
2006-12-06 05:19:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So far didn't have to do that, but it's not uncommon.Iremember once my sister in-law borrowed some money from my nephew for gas for the car and he was giving her a bad time about paying it back.She told him she would rather owe it to him than cheat him out of it.She paid him back on pay day.
2016-05-23 01:10:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right to teach your kids about giving. I think this actually is a perfect opportunity to really drive the lesson home. Have them pick out a gift for their dad. It's a good move.
2006-12-06 05:20:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already answered your own question - You said you have taught your children that Christmas is about giving !! be the more mature person and help the kids get their father a little something - and it wont even matter if it comes from the discount store . ( cheaper is better in this case )
2006-12-06 05:16:21 · answer #7 · answered by noway983 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there...done that. I want to instill in my kids the same respect for Christmas and the rest of the year too. So of course, we get something for daddy too and if he had a girlfriend at that time we get her a little something (hes remarried now...thank goodness).Needless to say he has never returned the gesture... but thats not what Christmas is about.
2006-12-06 05:22:48 · answer #8 · answered by bobndew 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't spend any money on your ex.Have the children make a gift for him.This teaches your kids that a gift can come from the heart, not the pocketbook.
2006-12-06 05:15:17 · answer #9 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only if you want to. I have never brought my ex a gift for Christmas from the kids. Never really thought about it.
2006-12-06 05:20:19 · answer #10 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋