I love my husband?

Question

I love my husband, but we fight all the time. He works and i'm a stay at home mom. I barely have time to shower everyday, let alone clean the house. He never helps me with anything, not cleaning, not the baby, and he doesn't even pick up after himself. I feel alone and isolated, by the time he get's home, we are both tired and rarely talk. He's never home on the weekends.

I take it, some of you men who reply, either don't have kids, or are rude assholse who treat their wifes like ****. I do clean. I clean everyday, I'm staing the fact that i'm not the only person who lives here. I shouldn't have to clean after a grown man, who messes up after I clean, or who ignores his child, and I have to make him spend time with the child.

Answer 1

sorry

sometimes love is just not enough

you have to stop this way ot live

Answer 2

I hear ya! When I was on maternity leave recently, I hardly showered and it was difficult to clean up the house. You cannot make your husband pick up after himself. I tried the nagging and the pleading thing, it never works. I just end up doing it myself. You do however need to take care of yourself every chance you get, shower and put make up on, so YOU can feel good about yourself!!! That is the most important thing. Maybe you should get a hobby or something to do while the kid(s) are napping during the day? Why do you fight all the time? Because he is a slob? Did you know that he was like that before you married him? I knew my husband was like he is before I married him, he is still like that. I know he appreciates my efforts, even though he doesn't show it all of the time. The best of luck to you.

Answer 3

What your going through is VERY common. The first thing tht you MUST do is not make time for yourself, but TAKE time for yourself. When he gets home, hand off the torch, even if it's only for 20 minutes to get a shower. You'll feel better by having even this short amount of time to 'recharge'. And COMMUNICATE. Tell him that it would be a big help if he could just pick up after himself. BUT, keep in mind, that by being a SAHM, taking care of the baby and the house IS your job. Good Luck!

Answer 4

I think being a stay at home person might not do for everybody.I like working in my job even if it's 13 hours a day occasionally but I just get so depressed if I have to stay at home, and houshold works seem so much harder.Maybe you have a similar problem and should take at least a part-time job instead of being a full time mom.I don't have kids yet but me and my brother went to nursery too because in my country everybody had to work but we turned out okay.And yeah he shouldn't be so messy and you should both have some free time somehow to be an effective family for the kid's sake too.

Answer 5

I understand were your coming from because I have the same problem with my husband. My husband is in his senior year in college and we just had another baby, I feel like I'm the only one who spends time with my kids and also cook and clean each and everyday, your right by the time my husband is home I'm tired and so is he, but as soon as i mention anything about picking his work stuff up are anthing to do with cleaning he is so tired, but if he ask me for sex, and I say no that I'm tried he gets mad, your not attracted to me, no It's not that I have a newborn stuck to me all day a 3year old that doesn't want to learn how to spell her name,,I'm tired and I don't want sex. So my friend I understand were your coming from I told him that I understand you go to school and you work but I still need your help, if you can't help me out, then I'm leaveing point blank simple and plain, I didn't have these kids by myself and I be damn if I raise them by myself. He still complains about picking up but he knows that if he doesn't help he gets no sex or any dinner, so what I'm saying is you have to train them, yeah it's hard trying to train a grown *** man, but it can be done. Good Luck

Answer 6

You should explain to your husband how you feel. You should going out with him on the week-end. Maybe getting a part-time job, just to get out of the house. Maybe meeting some new people, so that you dont depress staying at home all day. We all need to be social and feel loved. But if you just accept whats happening most people will think that everything is just fine. Try talking to him and I mean directly and honestly. I hqad a girlfriend and she felt the same way but she never said anything to me. I would have tried to change if she said something before it was to late. If he still doesnt change well leave. PS dont expect him to change over night.

Answer 7

You need to make a list of all the chores that need to be done. He works you raise the kids. That is even. Take all the chores and split them in half. If you are cleaning up after him you have spoiled him. Why isnt he home on the weekends? With no communication in a marriage the chance of bad things happening rises.

Answer 8

I work as a dump truck driver and am gone from daylight till dark, I still have to come home and clean house and usually make supper, my wife stays at home and does nothing, except go to the mall and spend my paycheck, I wish I could help you, but I am in a similar situation, however I will tell you this, SOMETIMES LOVE IS JUST NOT ENOUGH! we deserve better.

Answer 9

How many kids to you have and what are their ages? You need to try scheduling your day a little better to at least get some housecleaning done.

Have a talk with your hubby about at least picking up after himself to help you out. Make sure that you sympathize with him since he works all day too. Explain to him that his job lasts on 8 (or however long) hours and yours lasts 24 hours. If he loves you, he should help out a little more. Good luck!

Answer 10

I was having the same problems. I sat my husband down and talked to him and things changed for a while but went back shortly after. I got fed up with it and left one day while he was at work, with our daughter. We got together the next day and talked and it was like he actually listened. Since I came back, we havent had an agrument since and he's a lot better about helping me out around the house and with raising our daughter. He said that me leaving with our daughter made him relieve how much he wanted us in his life and he would do anything thing to keep us in it. You need to sit your husband down and talk to him, let him know how you feel. If he really loves you, he will work on keeping you happy so he doesnt lose you, if he doesnt love you or could careless, he'll just keep on until you leave him.

Answer 11

I taked your point.
I think these problems you quoted is usual.I believe that lots of women have had living with the same conditions.All of the problems will be descend every women beforehand the utopia.
Plausibly he works very hard therefore lots of the stress would be descended him.You have to consider this point.
You will be salvage in the future.Females need to stay strong and robust than males.
You need to talk frankly him in order to find the acceptable solution for this situation.Sometimes connection will be panacea for everything.You need to talk your husband everything you want.
You can just defeat all of these problems with him.
Everthing is culminating in your robust relationship and connection.