Cheated on my husband!!!!?

Question

I love my husband very much and have told this other man "mark" this too but I can't get him out of my head!!!!! I have spent a few passionate nights with mark along with MANY hours just talking and he gives me everything my husband can't (Passion, time, respect, listens,doesn't take me for granted...)but my husband gives me all that mark can't (money, financial security, home, cars, many luxuries) I have great wild sex with both (even if it's only maybe 2 times a month with hubby)but my husband works all the time (he owns a roofing business and a carpentry business) and when he is home he eats showers and sleeps, that's it! Unless I wake up with him early in the morning before he goes to work he doesn't make time for sex. I want to keep both but I know what I've done so far is unfair to everybody involved... What do I do? Do you think they would ever consider living all together so that I wouldn't have to give either up?! LOL If I could put them together I would have my perfect match

I have talked to my husband a lot about us not spending time together, all I asked for was half a day a week cuz I know he needs time for himself too but nothing has changed in 2yrs yet! Everybody keeps telling me to think for myself so that's what I've done!!! I have NEVER before this ever put myself first ever! I want to be happy, I used to have it all with hubby but he has sunk so far into work he has lost himself, And I'm afraid he is going to lose me too. It's not what I want but what can I do? Knock him upside the head?

Answer 1

How would you feel if your husband had someone on the side?

I highly doubt you would bo ok with that and even want to share.

Put yourself in his shoes.

You married your husband. Either divorce or be the wife you said you will be.

It is unethical to be this selfish.

Answer 2

You didn't say if there were children involved which would put a different light on the subject. If there are then you owe it to them to make your marriage work if at all possible. The repurcussions will go on to the next generation if your children come from a broken home!
If not, then you have still a duty to your husband to make your marriage work, you made marriage vows after all. You really need to get through to him how you have to spend more time together, he has a duty to you. I would not tell him about the other man unless you decide to leave him, does "mark" want you to leave your husband? If you're not careful you could fall between two stools. One thing is for sure, if you continue as you are someone will get hurt, and probably more than one of you. Why not get a job to keep your mind occupied? Maybe voluntary work if you don't need the money. Your husband supplies you with everything you need material wise, could "mark" do lilkewise? Also, if "mark" doesn't mind having an affair with a married woman chances are he would be unfaithful to you if you were his woman. Your husband sounds like a good man with a few faults. Think carefully! You could give him up for a lesser man.

Answer 3

I have been the "other guy" in the same sort of relationship and it sounds like Maqrk is as good at it as I was. It is real easy to be the "perfect man" when you don't have to do it full time. I can assure you that during your conversations with Mark, you have told him all the things about your husband that your don't like. All Mark has to do is assimilate all that info and then do just the opposite and all of sudden, you have found your "soul-mate". That is not to say that Mark is not sincere, he may well be, but you need to proceed with extreme caution. It is not easy working a hard, physical job all day and then still have the energy sometimes required at home. It sounds like your husband loves you and wants to see that you have all the comforts in life. Unfortunately, there is sometimes a price to pay for that. Have a nice talk (not an arguement) with your husband and explain your needs. Give him a chance to give you what you need before you throw in the towel. Here is a little test....make up a new complaint about your husband and see if Mark's behaviour doesn't change to show you that this is one more way that he is better than your husband. I don't know if I said that right or not....hope you know what I meant. When I was involved in this stuff, I would listen for anything the woman would say that would give me any clue about the kind of man that she wanted. Most of the time, they would tell you indirectly exactly what they were looking for. By the way, this kind of thing is not gender-specific, women do it too! As far as the chance of having them both, FORGET ABOUT IT!!! Good luck.....

Answer 4

yea i hope you know what you are doing is so very wrong on so many different levels! You are hurting your husband and he doesn't even know it! wow...some wife. You can't have both,and it sounds like your husband deserves better. He's out there working his a.ss off to give you all the many luxuries you want and you're screwing some other guy! It sounds to me that you are just using him for money! You need to tell him the truth and leave him the hell alone! Before you continue to hurt him and make it harder in him. How would you feel if he was doing this to you? And as far as "mark" goes, he can't be that great of a guy if he freakin sleeps with someone elses wife while her husband is at work makeing money to buy her all the pretty little things she wants!For all you know he could be screwing 10 more wives of other men. what are you thinking? I can't believe you even posted this pathetic question.

Answer 5

i don't see those living arrangements working out. first of all, you are lusting over the other man. everytime you begin a new relationship everything is new and exciting. and the possibility of being caught is an extra rush of adrenaline. which makes it all the more exciting. your husband sounds like he is trying everything he can to support and love you, giving you everything you could possibly want or need. you should put the energy that you spend chasing around with mark into your marriage. come clean with your husband, let him know what is going on and why.
if he forgives you for messing around, maybe he'll realize what he has done to make you feel neglected. if mark was supporting you with money, financial securtiy, home, cars, and all of the other luxuries... would he be able to fulfill your other needs as well?

Answer 6

continue the way it is now. Maybe in the future your husband will find more time for you and you won't need Mark anymore. But also think that a full time relationship with your lover would involve other things not just conversations and sex. For instant is ok for everybody: you have what you need: good financial situation and love, your husband has a happy wife, your lover has a good relationship without any financial responsabilities

Answer 7

I,ve been on this site for a couple of days now and I can,t believe the questions I am hearing. Your a married woman did you her the part in your wedding values about better or worse do you know what your wedding ring means not to let anyone brake your union do you all go to church look i,m a grown man and I have done everything wrong a person can do but don't kid your self you are about to lose the person you said that till death due us part grow up

Answer 8

so what's the problem, girl? spend more time with your lover and have more lovemaking. You then go back home and demand the same lovemaking to your husband but this time make it more passionate and make him feel really good with some feistyness and a feeling of wanting more and more. do that to your husband atleast 4 times a week. meanwhile do not let go of your lover and try to experiment on other things like tantra. a good once a day session of lovemaking, wild and acrobatic lovemaking with him will make you proficient at it. once perfected you can apply what you've learned and bring it home to your husband. your husband will trully be pleased with you.

Answer 9

You are using both men. The least that you can do is let them know you are doing so. I feel sorry for your husband. If you care about him at all, let him go. He obviously isn't right for you. In your total selfishness, you have never considered that are cheating him out of a loving, deserving, and FAITHFUL marriage.

Answer 10

What is most inportent to you? which one makes you happier what will happen if your husband should find out? what are Mark's plan's for the future? You have a lot of questions that need answers before you can solve this problem.Think it over very care full before you make up your mind.What are you going to give up what are you going to gain.I sure hope I never have your problem.Good luck.