Why would my wife get mad at me when she threatened to cheat and I told her to go ahead and have her fun?

Question

I'm trying to understand why she got mad at that because she says she contemplates it sometimes we've had some arguments and all. I told her she should go ahead and have her fun, cos internally I'm to the point where I feel I won't miss much. She got mad at that and I wonder why she would bcos if she's thinking about it, then i feel she could care less if I give a damn or not.And just in case anyone is wondering, I am NOT having an affair or anything, sometimes you get so frustrated you could care less. I am directing this to those women who feel that what i said was cold. If the tables were turned and a man said that to you, would you or would you not feel that this is a very cheap, tactless way of getting attention if he "really" doesn't mean it? Just curious bcos I am trying to understand women a little more. I really thought that it is ok for a woman to cheat if she isnt getting attention or she is feeling ignored, the world makes it seem it is ok. And sometimes it gets to the point where one becomes fed up and jaded. I figure its a free world, and a woman should be allowed to have her fun if she wants to. -- I apologize if I sound like a cold person, really i am not, i am just a man who has been put through a lot of crap and it has been building up for a while.

The majority of answers I am getting are people telling me she said that to "see if i care" - first off thank you for the responses, even those that came about a lil' emotional, second off, this is a CONFIRMATION that women love to play games and manipulate, even though it is denied over and over, i see it now and lastly....what if she is NOT "testing" - My point is that I too have felt unappreciated and frustrated. However, I dare not throw a test question like that....there has been so much going on and not going on in the relationship that got me jaded. It seems like people miss what got me to that point.................But thanks none the less for all the advice. And by the way..........I am one of the most affectionate guys ever, in fact....i've had past relationships where i've been told i was too affectionate.

Answer 1

I am sorry but i feel yo both need to grow up, yes i said both of you.
It was wrong of her to say what she said to you. but it was also wrong of you to say what you did.
Only from my opinion she is looking for attention from you because for some reason your not giving her what she needs and so she felt if goes to the extreme this might give you a kick in the but to realize what you are about to loss if you don't straighten up.
to the same point about her she is taking the wrong road to get your attention and obviously this ain't working and she being very childish about this situations there always a better way to fix this problem.

to the both of you. if you guys truly love each other then grow up and talk try to solve your problems. and stop playing games.

no disrespect intended this is just my opinion

Answer 2

she probably said that just to make you jealous or to try to make you treat her better. She probably didn't say it because she was gonna really do it. She is just trying to get your attention. You must be displeasing her or not meeting her needs in her mind or else she wouldn't have said it. Evaluate your relationship. Make sure you make time for her and give her love and attention and treat her nice. If that doesn't work then she might need to take a look at herself and how she can contribute to the relationship. If you start being nice and trying to meet her needs like she wants then my guess is she'll start doing the same for you in return soon after. Or if it's just to hard to do that and too much has happened then maybe ya'll should look at getting marriage counseling.

Answer 3

Your wife probably got mad because she's throwing the cheating threat at you trying to get your attention, or she's trying to get you to get mad back at her and you're not responding that way. When I was younger, I would do dumb things like that too because if the guy got mad back, it meant he cared enough for it to bother him. Sounds kinda twisted, but it's strange what some of us will do if we feel neglected. I can understand why you'd react that way because she shouldn't be using manipulative tactics like that, but I wouldn't give her the green light to cheat. That would only complicate things more and possibly give her ammo for another argument later. If you're fed up, you might want to consider marriage counseling.

Answer 4

Look, there are really no circumstances when cheating is okay. She probably told you she's thought about it to get you to go crazy with the thought of her being with someone else. The fact that you didn't care hurt her because she obviously would care if you cheated. Why else would she say that if she didn't think you'd freak out? She's mad because you hurt her. You hurt her because you don't care anymore. You guys either need to sit down and calmly discuss your marriage and your future together, get counseling or get divorced. Life is too short to spend it without love.

Answer 5

She got mad at you because you did not give her the answer she wanted.

She threw that threat at you to get you to notice how unhappy she is and you responded to go ahead and screw other guys. She now knows, deep inside, that the truth is that you don't care about her any longer.

If you feel that it's okay to ignore your wife and urge her to have an affair, then why in the world are you still married or not getting counseling to improve the situation?

Answer 6

First off the world is wrong!! Just b/c the world says its ok to do that or this doesn't mean it is! I'm a marriage women myself. Women are very complex creatures where men or not. I totally can relate to arugements I used to have with my husband. When she says I'm going to cheat its her funny way of saying I want you to stop me and love me and hold me and make love to me. I know why couldn't she just say it!?! I had to work on this big time with my husband meaning I had to communicate to him my true feelings of what I really wanted. Women beat around the bush. They don't usually say directly what they want you to know. They want you to figure it out for yourself, but on the other hand men or very simple minded and they say just say what needs to be said. Maybe there's more to this than the eye can see. Maybe you forgot something that was important to her or whatever. I'd try cuddling with her first. Let her know that she is so important to you and that you are sorry for saying that, and you really wouldn't want to see her with another man! I'm telling you, you do that and you will have heaven on earth!! By the way she may try to fight you if she does its her testing you persay to see if you really want her, so just keep at it.

Answer 7

Your wife got mad at you because she felt you didn't care. It sounds like she threatened you because she wanted to know and hear whether you still cared about her. For most women, 'cheating' would probably have to involve someone they cared about. Sex would involve intimacy unlike most men who can have sex without that. I think your wife is concerned about the intimacy or lack of in your marriage.
Granted she should not have threatened you like that because its hurtful. I know if a man said that to me, I'd be so hurt and tell him to f.o..
It sounds like your marriage is under stress and strain. It would be financially sound to invest in a few counselling sessions with a marriage therapist to sort things out.
Life can hand you a basket of lemons every now and then, and its up to you what you choose to do with them...let it rot and make a stinky mess or make lemonade and have a great drink....hot or cold.
Good luck to both of you.

Answer 8

Why, you undesirable old meanie, you -you called her bluff! Jeez, you have been meant to get all teary and beg her to stay domicile and real to you an whine and cry and - properly, by no longer doing so which you thoroughly deflated her huge ol' balloon. purely for the checklist, maximum married women human beings do think of relating to the potential of an extramarital fling, basically as we adult males do - even however for many of them it in no way is going previous questioning approximately it. additionally, maximum females human beings in no way tell their friends that they have got concept approximately it. people who achieve this are telling "the different a million/2" that the marriage isn't what they (the single doing the telling) might like for it to be. in case you value your marriage in any respect, it might pay to take heed to, and then, with no need all warm and stricken, ask what you're able to do mutually to make issues extra constructive. in case you may no longer handle that undertaking with no need upset, then it quite is probable extra constructive to talk divorce.

Answer 9

What that tells you is she doesn't want to cheat. She wants you to get angry because if the idea of her cheating angers you then, in her mind, you still love her. When you don't get angry she interprets it as you not loving her. Especially when you say 'Go ahead and do it if you want'. That just further confirms it in her mind.

Answer 10

Some women want to be held back from doing some things. I don't think that her cheating on you is a positive thing and you should not tell her that it is okay. Try marrage counciling it can really help you out if you want your marrage to work.