Icheated on my wife?

Question

I met my wife 6 year back fell in love and 3 years later got married to her.... i was addicted to have sex with other females there fore months before marriage i slipped with my office colleague and slept with her and since than from past three years was cheating on my wife. I have become very inconsiderate towards my wife emotional and physical needs as the other person was feeding me those but not once it crossed my mind that I don’t lov my wife.t Now some days back she has caught me and since then we r not at all doing goods , I m feeling very terrible , humiliated and just want my wife back ......... I know it will be very difficult for her to forgive me but I m feeling so helpless that I feel like committing suicide ,,, she has moved away to her parents house and says need 6 months to stay away from me to gain confidence but I feel terrible I feel very unsecured of saying yes to her design , I have made a promise to myself that now I will never even look at any other female.

Answer 1

regretfully there is nothing you can do about your drive to have sex with other women. In the event that she comes back to you after a while you will stray again. Your promise that you won't look at another female, eventually you will break. Get her back then don't get caught next time.

Answer 2

Think about this...

Your problem isn't that you were cheating...it's that you got caught, otherwise you'd still be doing it after three years. Now that you are in jeopardy of losing your wife, suddenly you want her back. You've fallen into the typical 'men want the women they don't have'. I'm afraid that your wife has seen your true colors.

The world still revolves around you, doesn't it? You still speak of how this is affecting you. You are humiliated, helpless, insecure..., well what about what you did to her? She has a lot more reason to feel beytrayal than you do, but all you think about is you, right? Your statement is not of remorse, but moreso of born from immature selfishness. Time to grow up and see yourself for who you really are.

If we are going to be totally honest...let's assume that your wife returns and all is well. Some time passes and things return to normal. You meet a hott young woman, and you feel a bulge in your pants, but you've promised yourself you will never even look at another female. Do you think you will resist if the opportunity comes your way? Have you really learned your lesson, or is this untimely promise a ploy to convince yourself that your wife might be justified in coming back to you? I believe you should just face the fact thay you will never be able to remain loyal. It is just the way you are...a horndog...unworthy of trust or forgiveness.

Acknowledging the type that you are...if you truly care for your wife, tell her that you are sorry and cannot be trusted and it is better for her to move on in her life. With that you can at least feel that you were honest for once, even if it is after the fact, and you can now move on an explore other women without deception.

Make sense?

Answer 3

Yes, you would feel terrible NOW, because it only happens after being CAUGHT. Now that she's left you and asking for 6 months to regain confidence in you, this may not ever happen. She will more likely run into someone who will take her mind off of you even without trying. So, things will never be the same even if she is willing to try an stay in the marriage because the trust is gone and no relationship is worth having without some type of trust.

Answer 4

I think one question that you need to ask yourself is do you really love her? If the answer is yes then you need to stay away from women that could be a possible danger to your marriage. The women you are sleeping with aren't bringing you what your wife was bringing you I mean I know for a fact that if you really do love her, then you need to stay away from the other women. I know in a work place it's hard but stay away from the physical contact or whatever it was that brought you to that point. Hire men if you have to. Do whatever you have to do! It will take time for her to trust you. I know it will, but if what I think is true she still loves you and hasn't sent you divorce papers yet! If you have to quit your job what's more important your wife or your job (hopefully your wife). If it was the sex you were missing and your wife wasn't bringing that then you are missing something. You gotta give to get! I mean for instance if her favorite thing to do was cuddle, or take her out to eat with you then you need to do that as much as you can. If she was always tired of doing the dishes then do them for her, clean the house whatever. Then of course other things lead to the sex! You both would get what you wanted. Surround yourself with people that are a good influence on you. Keep busy with other things so you won't get yourself in trouble like you aready are! To get her back I'd call her send her messages, write her letters telling her how much you miss her and that you are trying to change because you want it to work. I know though it will be hard to change so find a couselor that can help you and not tell you that you can't change. I mean if the couselor doesn't help you change then you need a different one. If you have to go to a church and get help with this.Good luck with this!

Answer 5

My friend: I feel so bad for you because I have done the same thing many times.I hope your wife can be as forgiving as mine.We never split up,but it took a long time to get back to normal close to it.My wife forgave me but I don't think she will ever forget.We never bring up my cheating but it will always be in both of our minds.Committing suicide will never solve anything.If you were to do that you wouldn't know how things come out.I know how you feel.It is hard to look at yourself.Now here is my advice.First thing you need to do is forgive yourself then talk to your family make sure they forgive you and then I think you should ask your wife for a date pick her up take her out on a nice dinner a movie maybe dancing,do this for a while and when you feel comfortable ask her to marry you.It worked for me 30 years ago.Good luck.I hope you send me an email and tell me you are coming up on 49 years.WE are new years eve.God bless you.and yours

Answer 6

Making a promise when you have an admitted inability to keep your pants zipped means nothing. And you admit to treating your wife like crap on top of that. You are not trustworthy and your promises mean as much as the politician who promises to never raise taxes.

Before you even think of getting involved with a decent woman, get yourself some serious counseling to understand why you feel the need to screw women physically and emotionally. I can only assume that you don't like women very much if you treat your wife like this while professing to love her. Geez, how would you have treated her if you did NOT love her?

Your wife deserves better than the excuse of a man you are right now. Grow up and get some help OR go on screwing tramps.

Answer 7

Yeah, sure, you'll be faithful, yeah, sure. If I were she, I'd divorce you, asap, and move on. "Once a cheater......" She is wise to stay away from you. Hopefully she will move on, and find a guy worth her trust, love, admiration, respect and passion, because it sure can't be you..... betrayal in a marriage is THE deal-breaker, dude, the only deal-breaker..... too bad you figured it out too late.... too bad a nice lady had to stumble into you before she was able to marry a nice guy. You get everything you deserve -- which is nothing!!!! Sorry, pal, but I can't fee the least bit sorry for you. When/if you ever again meet a nice lady, think with your big head instead of your little one.

Answer 8

suicide is not even an option. so take that out of you mind life goes on and we go with it. if she needs space the best you can do is giving her that space, i know you most feel really bad but just for a second try to understand how she most feel. you did something very wrong and you have to take the consecuences of you acts. be a man and face the facts. STOP THINKING SUICIDE.

Answer 9

No offense but you don't deserve this woman. If you really loved her you would tell her to move on and find someone that can be good to her. Don't you think that she deserves to be happy? You say you've hurt her and cheated on her so obviously you can't treat her right. Leave her alone and go get some counseling! You should this about seeking therapy for sexual addiction!

Answer 10

Well You really made a big mistake. They say once a cheater always a cheater. i somewhat agree with that.Its like child molesters always molest, its habitual for them. Its become embedded into you so for you to say that youll never cheat again is great. You need to go to therapy with her and alone. Your wife married you for better for worse but this is worser than worse. Get help and work this out if you really mean what you say!