My siblings and I usually gather at my Mom's on Fridays after work to unwind, the problem is that My ex husband (divorced 3 years) continues to show up at my Mom's without calling. He doesnt respect the fact that I might have a guy over, even though I'ved asked him not to repeatedly.. He just shows up with beer and ends up sitting there for a while, we get along Ok so I dont usually say anything.He continues to use my house address(which I obtained in the divorce) so that his car Insurance rates are cheaper . After 24 years of marriage when his Dad died recently I showed up at his Mom's the day of the funeral to be with my kids (2 grown children 1 8yr old) hoping to at least walk in the church with my kids and he looked at me like "why are you here"? I was practically seated in the back of the church while his girlfriend of a few months was practically seated next to him.He didnt say one word to me. I made dishes for the dinner afterwards and I wasnt even invited to that. Disappointed
2006-12-06 03:44:52 · 7 answers · asked by crw1141 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sounds like he uses you and your family as a comfort zone. unless you make it very clear to him that you and your family would like to meet without him intruding, he will continue the same routine. Tell him that he needs to spend time with his girlfriend and her family. as far as your support for the passing of his father, it seems that it was unwelcome, so don't waste your time, or effort. in the future, if sometime happens in his family, support your children through their time of loss and let him fend for himself.
2006-12-06 04:05:48 · answer #1 · answered by sickofmakinthemgo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me get this straight. He thinks it is okay to just pop over at you mom's anytime he wants but it is not okay for you to show up at his mom's to pay your respects and be there for your kids?
You need to tell him in no uncertain terms that it is not okay for him to hang out with your family. If he continues to show up then close the door in his face. I know this will be hard since you have children but it is the only way you will get the message through to him.
2006-12-06 12:29:13 · answer #2 · answered by theoriginalquestmaker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
does your mom not want him there, it is her house, but do the same to him, ask why are you here, and then be nice and say , with out trying to hurt your feelings, it isn't appropriate for you to be coming over here , explain in what circumstances it is appropriate for exes to cross the line (funerals, emergencies, etc)
If you get the mail and receive his auto insurance bill, return it with a letter stating no longer at this address
sounds like you allowed him to get away with it for awhile, you need to be consistent about what you want
good luck
2006-12-06 12:21:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remind him that you are no longer married and you would like the common courtesy of him calling first before he decides to pop him.
Tell him you have plans even when you dont.
He needs to respect your privacy and should not be allowed to just pop in whenever he feels.
You allowed this behavior and now you have to stop him.
You can be nice but be FIRM and stick to the plan.
2006-12-06 11:54:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Out of respect for you...your parents should not welcome him into their home.....next time he shows up on Friday with beer....ask them to tell him he's not welcome there. I realize he is the father of your children..and for this reason..you'll always have to communicate with him...Doesn't mean you have to be his "buddy"...
Sounds to me like he's going out of his way to make sure you remain unhappy.....wash your hands of him....don't let him "use" your...for an address or anything else....
You're divorced for a reason....keep those reasons clear in your head...and tell him it's time to move on with his life...and his moving on, doesn't include you or your family!
Your going to his fathers funeral was for your children...not him.....you shouldn't be upset that you were set in the back...nor that his girlfriend was setting near him.....you weren't there for him....
Time to seperate your families just as you seperated yourselves.......
2006-12-06 11:56:39 · answer #5 · answered by Shelly B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should let him know any way you can,he sounds like a real a$$.
2006-12-06 11:48:05 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell your mum not to answer the door the next time he knocks...what a loser!!
2006-12-06 11:48:55 · answer #7 · answered by ♥♥♥GODDESS♥♥♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋