What do I do about my jealous friend?

Question

My friend and I have been best friends for 15 yrs, in most ways shes a great friend shes kind funny full of good advice but theres one problem shes really jelaous! We re both big girls shes quite a bit larger than me though, I'm currently on a diet and the weights starting to come off slowly, I ve also started going to the gym, but she loves to put the knife in, she l say things like oh you look much more attractive bigger, you looked terrible slim your face was too long, when I started the gym she rang to inform me that she d read in the paper someone had dropped down dead on his way home from the gym, when I told her my doctor had advised me to loose weight she implied my doctor didint know what she was talking about and that because i'm tall i dont look overweight anyway!!! (my friends a nurse and thinks she knows everything about everything) i ve tried including her by asking her to come with me but no, I really like her but this envy things driving me crazy!!!! help

Answer 1

Nat
your friend is scared that you will take the shine off her once people start noticing your weight loss....don't have her drag you down sweetie, she is jealous...i know that your doing this for yourself so don't listen to what she has to say about it....if your loosing weight the right way then there's no danger of you dropping down dead right at this very minute...why not ask her to join you at the gym and go on the diet plan that your on...keep going hun, i admire you for trying, lets know how you progress...at least your doing something about it....it's more to do with health than image...once she sees all that weight come off you she will regret that she ever said anything to you, try and coax her to join you, she needs some motivation, if she refuses then don't ask her again, let her just stay unhealthy...it's alot of fun going to the gym and you will feel good about yourself...it's hard to loose weight, so just plod on and get looking gorgeous girl...keep us updated....good luck...but what ever you do...don't let her negativity drag you down...your he ones who's being positive here, she's got no insight....

Answer 2

I think she has seen you take control of a situation, your weight, & do something positive about it. But rather than use that as motivation for herself, she seems to want to belittle what you are trying to do.

I think you need to have a serious talk with her, & make it clear in no uncertain terms that you do not like how she has been towards you since you started dieting. Tell her that whilst she doesn't she doesn't have to join you dieting/at the gym, a true friend would support the other, encourage them, & want them to be happy.

If she can't do that for you, then you should ask yourself why you want her in your life?

Answer 3

She's clearly feeling bad about herself but don't let that feel bad about you.

Tell her that even though she may have read some stuff about things being bad for you the proof of the pudding is in the fact you feel so much fitter since you've lost weight and that you feel happier. Ask her if she would rather see you bigger, feeling less fit and healthy and unhappy? There's no logical reason to stop eating healthily.

If she's still saying it's bad for you, ask to see the articles that she's talking about. I'm sure they don't exist!

Answer 4

Good for you & good luck with your weight loss. If you've been friends for 15 years, I would continue to be friends, thats a long time. Try to ignore her remarks, dont bring up the subject, no matter how excited you may be over your loss, just continue to do what your doing . If she brings it up, change the subject. We're human beings, & we all have our jealous moments. Maybe after awhile she'll see how GOOD you look & do something like it for herself.

Answer 5

I think with you losing weight and going to the gym your friend is feeling a little insecure, this is no excuse for the way she is behaving, she is obviously trying to lower you self esteem to her level. She is scared your gonna move on and leave her behind.
Would talk to her

Answer 6

She's watching you become something she wants to be and so she is jealous. There isn't anything you can do to stop her feeling this way. By putting you down she feels better about herself but trust me it isn't for long. She knows she's wrong but it's the jealousy talking. Just give her time.... (sorry for the cliche!)

Once you reach your target weight i bet she starts to diet!

Good on you for taking control of your health though.
Keep at it!
xxx

Answer 7

its very sad isnt it when so called friends act like this??

i wouldnt rise to the bait and i would just carry on with the diet and gym sessions.

i honestly dont think a chat would help as she would im sure deny everything!

let her worry about stuff if she wants....

you are the one who will be reaping the benefits of all that hard work!!

good luck

Answer 8

Try to be paitent
if she continues to bring it up first tell her you would rather not talk about that.and change subject.if she contiunes after that ask her why she just cant be happy and supportive of you and your decision.and hang up.
If shes truly your friend she will feel bad and apologize. though she might need to do a little self-analisis to figure it out.
be ready to forgive when that happens,she will explain herself.and you can be friends again.

Answer 9

well she obviously cant think alot of your friendship, shame really as you sound a very strong character, do you know what-sod her! she is obviously jealous as you have some get up and go and the gym visits are interfering with her time with you, you have found an outside interest other than her. you go for it girl, i bet you look a million dollars!!!

Answer 10

Tell her how her comments make you feel most people don't realise their comments are hurting other people she may had other reasons but if it continues I'm afraid your friendship will Taking the slippery slop.