I know it sounds a little strange, but let me explain......I am in love with my wife and as it stands we are seperated (sort of, im still in the house but she is sleep in on the couch) I want to show how much I care and that I love her and want to move on from problems and make things work. It seems that everytime I try to tell her or try to show her how I feel in more traditional ways she says that I am "forcing" the issue. So how do you show how much you love that person and how much you care with pushing them away. Basically, it's trying without trying. Help, please!
2006-12-06 02:59:44 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no, nobody cheated. I t has been a rollercoaster ride in our lives since about July. Money issues, commitment issues job issues, fighting at least once a week, my depression, her withdrawing. We went to marriage therapy and she is unwilling to move on from the problems we had.
2006-12-06 03:12:47 · update #1
Are you sure SHE wants to work things out?
It sounds to me like she doesn't...at least not at the moment. Doesn't seem to matter how nice you are... or what your intentions are... she might not like it and say "you're forcing the issue''...even if say, you were just trying to clean up her plate after dinner.
It also sounds like she just needs some space from you to figure out what's going on in her head. If you're constantly in her face saying "I love you, I want to work this out"...although your intentions are good, you're actually pushing her away. I would imagine, assuming she needs space... that she feels disrespected when you try to "make things work".
The fact is, you can't "make things work". They either do, or do not based on the love between the two of you. If you have to force yourself, or one another to be in love and "make things work", is it really worth it? Are you really in love then?
A suggestion or two.
Give her some space. Some real space. Don't walk around the house asking her questions. If she's in the living room watching TV, go in the kitchen and read a book. Be polite, say "good morning", and "have a good day"... don't hold your feelings back... Tell her you love her... but don't push it.
If you want to show her love.. instead of getting in her face about working things out, think of the things she's complained to you about in the last few years... what mistakes you've made...and try to work on them. Make yourself a better person. Whatever you find you need to improve on...make a permanant solution. Don't put a band-aid on it till things get back to normal, and then stop trying.
Good luck!
2006-12-06 03:14:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has already made a move to be separate.... Something must have happened to provoke this behaviour. She is very upset with you...
She is not willing to leave the house and is standing her ground... But she is not going to put up with any of your attempts to reconcile.
She wants to be left alone and can't deal with you bugging her.. She is doing some thinking and has distanced herself from you. She has stepped outside the relationship and is looking in at it now, trying to decide what to do...
You can't force the issue ... it is too late for this... she has to lick her wounds and decide what is best for her....She will let you know ......
2006-12-06 03:10:13 · answer #2 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You arent giving her her space. Don't make it an issue to tell or show her anything. Your only pissing her off more. Give her the time she needs to evaluate and decide if she wants to continue with you. You should also prepare for the worst.
2006-12-06 03:03:52 · answer #3 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Want to get out of the "dog house"?
This is what you have to do.
Buy her a EXPENSIVE and flashy flower arrangement, so expensive that you bend oven in pain when you pay.
Get on you knees and beg for forgiveness and promise never to do it again. Kiss her feet as needed.
Tell her that as proof of your commitment to your marriage, you would like to renew you vows... that would seal the deal.
Purchase an eternity ring and ask her if she would marry you again.
Go on a second honeymoon
Good luck
2006-12-06 03:12:06 · answer #4 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
a woman needs space...give her time to cool off...just do what u always do around the house...talk to her but dont start getting mushy on her...that will just get her more mad...see if she would like to talk about it..she knows u love her trust me...i have the same probs at times sooo i just leave her be...and it might take a day or sooo but she will come around when she needs u..good luck
2006-12-06 03:05:03 · answer #5 · answered by Sean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes a relationship just needs time and space. Dont let to much go by though
2006-12-06 03:14:25 · answer #6 · answered by crazzzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she needs time. give it to her.
then again, i don't know what she's thinking staying in the house. maybe she's hoping for a reconciliation later on down the road.
2006-12-06 03:02:41 · answer #7 · answered by pikachu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love something, set it free, if it comes back to you, its yours, if it does not, it never was. Corny, but true.
2006-12-06 03:04:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
so you cheated?
2006-12-06 03:01:41 · answer #9 · answered by me4tennessee 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋