First I must say that he and I were married at the time we started seeing each other. Now I am divorce and have moved on with "our plans". We have been together for over 2 years. His wife is gay and their marriage has been over for years. He just can't seem to say the word divorce. Well he says it to me but he can't get himself to say it to her. He says things like "when I leave" or "when I am gone". I don't believe he will be able to do it until he can say it? He should have filed 6 months ago, he says he didn't know how to handle his children and he was afraid of what he could lose in his divorce. Meanwhile, my children and I are moving on with our lives. What should I think?
2006-12-06 02:36:59 · 13 answers · asked by fearlove3 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh yes she is really gay. Stevie Wonder could see it! And the children are now seeing it. I have met (though other people) some of her partners. It's a mess!
2006-12-06 02:48:53 · update #1
for clarity.... my divorce was in the works before I met him.....
2006-12-06 02:50:27 · update #2
I don't think his wife is really gay for starters....I also think that you have been had by this liar....who will never leave his wife.....
2006-12-06 02:40:12 · answer #1 · answered by NONAME 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I obviously don't have all the details of the situation but why would you date a married man to begin with? Deciding to get a divorce is a very personal and difficult decision even when your spouse has done some very hurtful things. When people get married they believe they will be together forever and when things happen or one person does some really awful things it still hurts when you finally do decide to split. I wouldn't expect him to make any real lasting commitments for a while, he needs time to heal and even if he does make a commitment to you it may not last because it was kind of a rebound thing. If you love him you will wait and understand that he's is having a hard time, that will mean much more than if you were to pressure him to commit.
2016-05-22 23:58:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How could you be committed to someone else's husband? He's not afraid of a divorce, he's just stringing you're along because you're dumb enough to be with him without a real commitment. He wants you AND his wife.....is she really gay or is this what he's telling you? You broke up your marriage and family for a man who's obviously selfish....he wants to have his cake and eat it too!!! That man has no plans to divorce his "gay" wife....he pumped up your head to get you to leave your husband so that you'll be totally dependent upon him for love and affection....You need to get yourself together and find a man of your own and leave that woman's husband alone. What comes around goes around, and you are wrong as two left shoes...You're getting what you deserve....
2006-12-06 02:42:59 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is lying to you. All men that want to have something on the side come up with sordid justifications of why they want to "love" somebody else,.
He has come up with excuses why NOT to divorce his spouse... why? Because it's a sack of s hit and you took his bait as a real proposal... now all of "your" plans have become only "yours" because he has never had the intention to really divorce his wife; he just wanted the mistress in bed and the mother of his children at home..
He will keep on coming up with excuses why not to divorce, wise up lady, he 's never going to leave his wife and kids for you.
Good luck
2006-12-06 02:49:14 · answer #4 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he may want to stay with his wife and bang you for kicks. If he was going to leave, he would have left already. Give him two weeks to start divorce proceedings or you move on. You've wasted two years of your life dicking around with him. Life is short, live it to its fullest.
2006-12-06 02:41:27 · answer #5 · answered by s_bodhi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well to tell the truth, i don't think he wants to divorce the other lady.. if he did he would of already. i think most men like to have their cake and eat it too....
so, as u said u and your children are moving on with your lives, i would without him...why would you want your children to go through that?
tell him that its over ...and when he decides to grow up and keep to his word and shows you proof that hes divorced then maybe you will talk to him...but until then...go on with your life with your children
2006-12-06 02:47:22 · answer #6 · answered by luvutaz1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he cheated on his wife, for you, whats to say he wont soon grow tired of you and cheat on you, with another? Once a cheater, always a cheater. Hes lying, he's never going to leave his wife, why should he when he can have a wife, and a girlfriend?
2006-12-06 02:42:03 · answer #7 · answered by Dani 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk It Over First
2006-12-06 02:40:39 · answer #8 · answered by mks 7-15-02 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
sounds like you've ripped your family apart for no reasons. He's been playing you like a fool.....as was his plans all along, you, being the fool, let him do it. Your poor husband and kids. Shame on you.
2006-12-06 02:45:45 · answer #9 · answered by bella 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would say fish or cut bait! Don't fall for the "fear of divorce" crap! His fear is losing half of his belongings!
2006-12-06 03:24:53 · answer #10 · answered by Bev 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋