How can I stop my boyfriend and husband from meeting up?

Question

I am going in for an operation and will have to spend some time in hospital. I do not want my husband and boyfriend meeting up at hospital because neither know about each other. But my concern is what do I tell my boyfriend about my absence. Should I say I am going away on holiday? How will I explain the lack of postcards, international phone calls etc.

Has anyone every had to deal with a situation like this?

Not sure where all the judgemental crap is coming from. Its 2006 not 1806! If you want to call me S.L.U.T and such like pls do not leave a message.

I am very hurt by some of these comments - why am I a ****? Some of you are being sexually derogative. If I were a man you perhaps would comment on my deception but you would never comment on a man's sexuality - would you. Double standards - its 2006 pls wake up.

I only wanted advice because it would not be a good situation if they met - that's all.

Answer 1

you could tell your boyfriend you are going to visit an elderly aunt or uncle in another part of the country, and they do not have a phone on, so can't ring your bf. you could turn your mobile off and claim you forgot to take it with you. depends how long you will be in hospital. You could get a friend in another part of the country to claim you are with them and send a postcard from you? How about having to go away for a week of intensive training with work?

Answer 2

I would hope that very few have had to deal with this situation.

I'm not surprised you don't know what to say? What can you say?

I would like to think that time away from both will give you an opportunity to evaluate your life as it stands now. I would hope that you don't like what you see. I would hope that you would ask why you need to have two men in your life? Are you insecure? Are you worried that if your husband left you, that you would be on your own? Or is just the thrill of having two men love you?

I really don't know what you are going to say? I just hope that the operation is a success, & that you take steps to put your life back in order when you come out, whether it be with your husband, boyfriend, or niether.

Answer 3

well girl i think you need to cut it off with one of the dudes. If you couldn't be faithful then you shouldn't have got married... Its sad to say that it is woman like you that could really f*** up a good dude for every one else. I think you deserve to get caught because you put your self in a situation that could have easily been avoided had you kept your skirt down and legs closed. Although I do hope you get better so that when you get caught you can be alone and feel worse. I don't know your situation but I figure it can't be to bad with your husband if your trying to keep him. You need to make the choice about who is more import and WHO you want in your life.. I''m married and and if my husband pulled some s*** like that I would kick his a** and put in his face what he lost because of being an adulterating w****. It seems to me that to you marriage is a joke because if it was something that you took seriously and was interested in you wouldn't have your self in this ridiculous situation. It doesn't matter what year or century that we are in marrage is supposed to mean somthing and if you don't want to be called things like s.l.u.t or what have you stop putting on their uniforms.. You keep on and your going to catch a virus and end up back in the hospital.

Answer 4

You have no morals, scruples, principals or values regarding your wedding vows. It really does not matter the year you are living in, it is 2006 but may as well be 1806-the fact is you are cheating, and to post a question on this forum ASKING for advice on how to keep up your pretence shows a distinct lack of intellect on your part. If you think we are a tad judgemental with you regarding your post, and your situation-that is because we are and we are not to be blamed for it...you only have YOURSELF to blame for this. Divorce your hubby, he deserves better than you-and purchase a KING SIZED MATTRESS, instead of the standard double you have strapped to your back. Do your hubby...and the rest of us a favour and don't get well anytime soon...also please pass along any infection you have onto that plank of a boyfriend you have, you can be in hospital together then...that be nice:-)

Answer 5

Never been in a situation like this but perhaps it might be an idea to see neither of them. It can't be healthy for you worrying about this and it is not fair on either of the two concerned. I am not judging you - each to their own but is food for thought!

Use your time in hospital to work out what it is you want maybe? Tell your husband and your boyfriend you need to think things through and then make a decision on who you want to be with and take it from there.

Unfortunately if you don't make a decision - one or both of them might before you have chance and I am sure you wouldn't want that!

Answer 6

To be honest, if you've got a boyfriend and a husband you must have had to conjour up quite a few lies in the past and get yourself out of a few tricky situations. In fact, you must be an expert liar. So.... just lie your way out of this one too? Tell your boyfriend you're on holiday, pretend to call him from abroad, say you sent him a post card and it got lost in the post. Theres no other way around it. But you should remember that one day you probably will get caught and could risk loosing both men.

Answer 7

I don't think anyone who's answered your question is 'behind the times'. We're all aware it's 2006 and hell, if I wasn't married, I'd probably have TEN boyfriends around my sick bed!

But that's just it.....I AM married. I vowed my life to another person and I love him to bits (most people get married for that itsy-bitsy reason)

Prioritise woman and sort yourself out!

By the way, although I can give no solid advice on the old hubby/bf thing, you might want to mull over the fact that hospital might be the best place for them to meet as, someone's bound to get hurt!

Answer 8

just because it is 2006, it doesn't excuse a thing. when you chose to have an affair, you also chose that there may be a possibility that you would get caught out.

all of your 'concern' seems to be about yourself, and not about whether or not your husband or boyfriend gets hurt. it will all blow up in your face one day, and i guess even then you'll be crying about how unfair it all is on you.

i don't really care if i sound judgemental or not - i have morals and i am proud of it!!!

Answer 9

You deserve to be caught out. If you don't like the fact that people are calling you a sl*t then stop being one. Which ever way you look at it that's what you are. Do your husband a favour and get shot of the boyfriend or you will lose both.

Answer 10

hmmm, its hard for you im sure.

obviously not happy in your marriage. but not fair on your hubby.....

or the unsuspecting bf.....

really you need to sort out ur marriage first and foremost. if you however feel it cant be saved then leave.

this of course doesnt help you right now.

i think you need to tell the bf at the very least. if they end up meeting, you wont have either of them.

if you cant face telling your bf then lie and say you are on holiday and just send texts!

but you really need to sort yourself out. marriage shouldnt be taken lightly and im sure if the shoe was on the other foot, you would be gutted if you found something like this out and you were still in love with your hubby...

so think about how you would feel. its not fair on either of their feelings