I tend to do things unintentionally to him, which end up huring him. It's so bad that he actually thinks i do it on purpose. I've tried to make him understand that i love him so much to want to hurt him. Anytime he's hurt, i feel very terrible. We are getting married soon and i want it to work out. In addition, how do i show him the importance of discussing our problems so we could solve them before they become issues in our marriage.
2006-12-06 02:01:06 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Communication is the most important thing in a marriage.
My husband and i have been together for 14 years and the last 3 years have been amazing.
Read "The five love languages"
Once i could speak to my husband in a language that made him feel truly loved and help him to speak my language our marriage has gone from strength to strength.
Also a good thing would be to tell him that your hearts intent is not to hurt him, so if you do or say something that hurts him, him must tell you so that you can rectify it.
Please do yourself a favor.
Get the book.
2006-12-06 02:08:17 · answer #1 · answered by Louw D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well hear is the best advice I can give you don't get married until you are sure you two can work it out. I have been married over 12 years to my middle school sweetheart. I just want to tell you we have had our probs over the last almost 16 years but, we have worked through them. Be sure before you get married nothing is worse than getting married and realizing it was a mistake. Divorce is very expensive and is really not worth the heartache people go through and how much they resent each other in the end. I have watched many of my friends go through it over the years.
2006-12-06 02:04:30 · answer #2 · answered by momdadand4kids 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk all of this out before you get married. You should start a marriage with unresolved issues to start with. I can't help but wondering how is it that you are hurting him? It seems to me if you know you are hurting him and that the things that you are doing are hurting him then you would stop doing them. If you can't stop doing whatever it is that you are doing that is hurting him then you need to rethink the relationship, maybe he isn't the one for you and you aren't the one for him.
Maybe a little counselling wouldn't be that bad of an idea. You really should not begin a marriage with outstanding relationship problems.
2006-12-06 02:10:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try getting professional help. You need to work these issues out before they get worse (and they will).
Also, let him know that you are getting help and ask for his support. I know he will give it to you despite asking, but at least this way he won't feel left out. Plus, it will let him know that you do love him and will do what you can to keep from hurting him.
2006-12-06 02:05:47 · answer #4 · answered by M.A.X. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage and indiviual counseling saved my marriage! I recommend it to EVERYONE! Also be sure to have married friends that are a positive influence on your relationship with your soon to be husband.
2006-12-06 02:31:24 · answer #5 · answered by Army wife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what things you are doing to hurt him, but it should cease. I can see you want it to work out, so you have to fight for this. Whatever it takes to let him see you are the one for him and no one else. Stop hurting him, and yourself in the process.
2006-12-06 02:05:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to give more details - what type of things do you unintentionally do to hurt him?
2006-12-06 02:09:58 · answer #7 · answered by NAN G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would strongly suggest premarital counseling for the both of you. Don't get married yet!
2006-12-06 02:03:30 · answer #8 · answered by kja63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you guys might want to consider some counseling to learn how to communicate better
2006-12-06 02:02:58 · answer #9 · answered by Goddess T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would pray about it first to myself, then sit him down and say to him what you just said to us. Talk with him one on one and tell me how much you care about his feelings and how they affect you also.
2006-12-06 02:05:23 · answer #10 · answered by Barbara Jean 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋