i luv my hubby but we are always fighting when together.but when we are far apart,we know we need each other.?

Question

my husband works offshore.we rarely see each other.but when we are together,small matters make us fight.help.we luv each other so much.

Answer 1

First, needing & loving are two very different things. You do not want this to turn into a situation of needing rather than loving. Try couseling; it can't hurt. ...And remember, everyone fights. It's not the end of the world!

Answer 2

I think it is normal that you two fight because you spend a lot of time separated because of your husband's job offshore. Then when you are together, there are too many issues to discuss in a short period of time.
Remember it is not fighting that matters, but HOW you fight. Try to be "hard on the problem and soft with the person". Focus on the problem you want to solve.
Being apart causes some anxiety, and I think that the accumulated anxiety is what affects you two when together.
Your last sentence is crucial: you say "we luv each other so much"... So keep that in mind when you begin to argue... if you are going to argue, argue in the grounds of love and not in the grounds of anxiety. It is a matter of consciousness and awareness.

Answer 3

Sounds like you're more in love with the "idea" of each other than you actually love each other. Being independent from one another also causes a lot of friction when separated for long periods of time. Long periods of emotional frustration build up and then the feeling you get when suddenly back together is that they need to be met NOW! Add to this subconcious resentment for your partners absence (he's not taking responsibility for home or family, she doesn't understand I'm earning a living for her...), and you get what you have now.

Best solution is to decide to RELAX when he comes home, realize what pressures have been brewing and do your best to address them before you see each other in person. Also give him a little time to re-adjust to having a partner/home/family, anything from a full day or two to just an hour or two, he'll be ready to pounce on you when he's ready.