Favoritism, Is there anything i can do about it????????

Question

I spend a lot of time @ my sister's house visiting my 3 nephews. Her two oldest boys are from a different dad who isn't around anymore and the youngest from her current husband. The boy's ages are 5, 6, and 7. The 2 older boys, Justin and Daniel, get no positive attention it seems from niether mom or the new dad. It seems the only attention the older boys get is punishment. Occasionally i go over there and when there's trouble for them 2, i find myself wanting to defend them somehow but i usually bite my tongue.

My sister and her husband are so hard on those 2 older boys and so linient with baby Johnny. Like this, baby Johnny gets to stay downstairs and watch cartoons on any given school nite as late as he can stay up but Justin and Daniel have to be in bed by 9 o'clock sharp or thier azz is grazz.

I mean, its bad enough baby johnny will have all the social problems affiliated with being the youngest but to be spoiled rotten on top of it? Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Sit your sister down alone, & talk to her. Choose your words very carefully, though! It was the same with kids in my family. My husband, brother-in-law, & I all spoke up & it changed nothing. I think we were too aggressive. You don't want her to feel attacked or accused, she'll only ignore you then.





P.S.
When we tried & failed, we spoiled the 2 (out of 4 kids) that were not being favored right in front of their mother. The two that were spoiled never cared or noticed, & the two that were not really appreciated it. ...Not the best solution, but better than nothing.

Answer 2

I have 3 boys. 2 from my first marriage and 1 from my second marriage. they are 12, 6, 3. My fiance sat me down just the other day and told me that the 2 older boys think that i treat them different than i treat the baby. My kids had told him a few weeks ago that i treat the baby a lot better and he watched for a few weeks and indeed i do treat the baby alot different than the other boys. I was very hurt by this and i am making changes to let all my kids know that i love them equally. It was really a hard thind to admit at first but i listened and im continuing to make changes.

Answer 3

The only thing you can do is say something to her and you need to do it soon. She will probably give you a hard time and possibly get mad at you, but a seed will be planted in her head and if she is a good mother she will think about it everytime she punishes them. The youngest child in most families is spoiled by their mother including my own. My youngest brother was spoiled and my youngest son is spoiled. I have mentioned my concerns to my mom and my wife and they understand but they don't seem to have any control over it.

Answer 4

Nothing you can do really. You cant change your sisters mind. So you just have to sit back. I know it sucks but what can you do really.()