I however love her to bits and pieces and I know that I am very good to her. She says its because I have picked up weight but that cannot be it, as she has been this way since we got married 3 years ago. I am so hurt. I am so good to her and she just doesn't want me. I have spoken to her at length about it and she just feels that she feels nothing.
We don't have any kids
2006-12-06 00:35:22 · 37 answers · asked by SteelJazz 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
just because u love her, and u were fair to her, doesn't mean she shares your same sense of fairness, or morals. ofcourse u are hurt, she has done an attack on how u look. actually she appears to be comparing u with someone else, maybe she is seeing someone else. if i were u i would distance myself from her, hold my head up high as u have done nothing wrong, i mean how can we change our looks or who we are? think it is just a lame excuse to cheat on you, and leave. if she feels nothing, than let her go, don't give it another thought, as we have no control over anyone else, and u really don't want to put any more energy or invest anymore into someone who has not one feeling for u, and doesn't mind telling u. she is callous and hurtful, and just plain mean. i think if she wanted to be free thats all u needed to know, that it was just a little bit too much info that u the already hurt one didn't need to hear. she will be sorry one day but as i see it it is already too late to have any type of reconciliation with her. she has really hit you a low blow. move on with someone that will love and appreciate a good guy. and don't let her ugly mean opinion of u, define who u are as a person, u know who u are, and what your made of, unfortunatly she has to pull this card to justify what she is doing.
2006-12-06 11:40:02 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry she is probably in love with someone else. Generally people love someone and don't walk away without something else. She is blaming it on your weight because she feels it will be more acceptable - the truth is you probaly piled on some pounds, comfort eating as you sensed her slipping away.
When you love someone the hardest thing in the world to do is to let go, but by holding on you have no chance what-so-ever of her changing her mind.
The only hope you have to save your marriage is to let go of it. Say ok, agree with everything she says, i.e. "yes you're right its not working, lets see a solicitor" etc. Hide your pain and start seeing other women. After a period of being jerked around in the real world - because its harsh out there, believe me, your wife may well realise that she's been a fool and beg you to take her back.
If she doesn't then at least the last days of your being together will not be such a cringing memory.
Finally, this is not a reflection of you, your wife doesn't want you because you're no longer a challenge - simple as that, she's probably bored with her whole life and most of all with herself. So if you can not let go, ask her to go on an adventure with you, or rapidly open up your joint social circle
Good luck, you are a good person
2006-12-06 00:56:27 · answer #2 · answered by del-d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To make a marriage work it takes both of you to work hard and if she doesn't want to it's going to be hard for you to get this back on track. Perhaps you need to let her know what she would be missing if you broke up. Spend a bit of time apart - go away with the boys for a weekend or a holiday, get out socially without her and try and get a bit of the spark that you will have had when you first met. I'm not suggesting an affair but often jealously is a strong emotion and it might make her realise that she does have feelings for you. I don't agree with the reason but maybe loosing the weight might help and at least if it all doesn't work you can walk away knowing that you tried everything possible to make it work. Good luck.
2006-12-06 03:31:10 · answer #3 · answered by roisindu2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love her let her go so she can find what she needs, At least shes been honest with you and not pretended all is ok whilst cheating behind your back. it won't be your weight, thays just her trying to find a rational reason for herfeelings or blame you in some way as she diesnt know why she doesnt love you anymore, i expect she wishes she still did!
2006-12-06 00:40:14 · answer #4 · answered by serephina 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can't change the way she feels, but if she values your marriage she might want to try counseling. It's not uncommon in long relationships to fall in and out of love, nothing is static, things move and change. But that's no reason just to give up. She cared enough for you once to marry you, that feeling must still be there somewhere. But you can't force her to do anything she does not want to do... hope you work it out or otherwise find happiness elsewhere.
2006-12-06 00:46:52 · answer #5 · answered by - 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she has fallen out of love with you, than its nothing you can do about this...I'm sorry. She has to be willing to work in your marriage. Has she agreed to see a marriage counsellor? If not then you just have to face reality...move on, this is going to hurt.
Good Luck, there are soo many nice women out there that it you will find your one and only someday, no rush.
2006-12-06 00:47:31 · answer #6 · answered by Prissie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hard as it is you have to move on. When a woman is done, she's done...I was married for 13 years and I fell out of love with him. I mean I have no feeling left at all for hime except a mild fondness for the father of my children. You can't make someone love you:(
2006-12-06 02:11:25 · answer #7 · answered by sasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats terrible but I suppose the only saving grace is that you have no children.I'd let her go mate,and find someone worthy of you.You sound really caring and kind and I'm sure theres a women out there dying to be with someone half as kind.Afterall you can't make someone love you and I'm sure by the sound of it you've tried.
2006-12-06 00:41:10 · answer #8 · answered by snikleback 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you being too puny for her. Maybe when you were courting you used to be more macho. Seems to me that she needs a lover with a slow hand and an easy touch, but with some V Vooom in the bedroom. Don't give up on her darling...not just yet.
If you really care show her just how much.... actions speak louder than words.
2006-12-06 00:43:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
oh i am sorry..she is using the weight thing to fall out of love with you...hmmmm bit sad really...she should love you for who you are and not what you look like...count your lucky stars that you don't have kids...your divorce would become so complicated if you did..you cannot make her love you hunny so if i were you...let her go....this is your chance to get a new life and be happy
2006-12-06 00:42:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋