My guy loves me but is scared of the word marriage . Both our families want us to marry soon.?

Question

im confused as he says he loves me and is not happy with me . im scared to gt married to anyone else as i love only him and dont want to marry anyone else .But i cant tell anyone , as he gets angry with me when i talk about marriage

Answer 1

dump him or use word shaadi ... ur know the answer by now .. he can live without u .. so can u

Answer 2

You are at a pivotal moment in your life. Do not listen to pressure from either family. Marriage has nothing to do with other people in any way. If he gets angry when the subject of marriage is brought up, then clearly he is not ready for marriage and should not be. There is something within him that is afraid or immature. This must be dealt with and conquered by himself before he could be any good for another person in marriage.
Your heart is trying to get your attention so you will listen to it, so stop pretending you do not hear it. It is the little voice and it is telling you to either not marry or wait. But no heart would say it is good to marry when anger at the subject of marriage is present.
Sometimes one can love because they receive love, while the other is still blind and receives not, and the feelings are not there, just words and motions.
As hard as it may seem (and it may seem like the wrong thing to do), you must listen to your heart. Most likely, you would be wise to separate and see if he can ever grow up and be able to receive feelings. He may not. It is much better to live alone, than in a marriage that just was not meant to be, which ends in divorce anyway.
Be strong and listen to your heart.

Answer 3

Do NOT let other people dictate when you should get married. That would be a big mistake. As a matter of fact, that might be what is holding your boyfriend back right now. He is worried and scared that everyone is pushing him into marriage. It sounds like he is just not ready for marriage right now. How long have you been dating? How old are you both? If you love someone, which it sounds like you love him very much, back down just a little and don't mention the "m" word for a little while. Let him feel more comfortable and not pressured for a while and just see if that doesn't make a big difference. I think he is just feeling real cornered right now. Best of luck to you both!

Answer 4

Well at least he is being honest and telling you now rather than after you got married. if he is being up front w/you and he doesnt want to be married then you have to respect his wishes and stay a couple but not married, or you have to move on and find someone else that has the intentions of getting married. Dont let your families influence you either way, the two of you are the only ones that should have an opinion in this matter

Answer 5

It's not up to your families...it's up to the 2 of you. If he says he's not happy with you then you should definitely wait a while to get married. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and you shouldn't start out with problems. Work through your differences first, then discuss marriage down the road when you are both sure about it. Don't try to push the guy into marriage before he's ready. If you do you;ll be setting yourself up for failure. Stay away from the subject for awhile. It sounds like you're pushing too hard for something he's not ready for.

Answer 6

Here's my Dr. Phil Shpeel.... This is typical of Indian families here. They overcompensate for the fact that they live in North America surrounded by supposed cultureless, moralless Americans and shelter their kids to the point that they are aliens in this culture. Meanwhile, Indian girls back in India are getting more Americanized. They are having pre-marital sex, living in with their boy friends, divorce is on the rise and the single mom epidemic has started in India too. You in your late 20's in North America living with your parents. Yes, they are paying your bills, protecting you and will also dictate when and where you can get a haircut. If I were you, I did be fixing to get out first and establish myself, because I value my freedom more than anything else... finding the right spouse would be secondary! Once you become independent, you can then mix in Western objectivity with Indian values in evaluating the right guy. Arranged marriages are good in the sense the process of screening marriage worth applicants is rigorous and you can be at peace that the guy you are marrying is not a criminal, a loser, alcoholic etc etc. If you go out on your own to a bar to hook up, you don't know if you are dating a sweet charming serial rapist or a child molester or someone on foodstamps. That is the only value the "process" of arranged marriage provides. Now its quite likely you will find someone in that process who is fairly modern and American and like you. There are no guarantees in life. There are plenty of loveless American marriages between couples who were highschool sweethearts. So the theory that unhappiness only plagues arranged marriages is BS. Here's what I would do. Get out have a place of my own, a job, engage parents in the screening process meanwhile do some dating on your own (please do background checks) and then once you have enough data points collected. Do your analysis.

Answer 7

He does NOT want to get married. You shouldn't even be discussing marriage. This is not a good relationship. You can love someone else, he isn't the only one for you. You are really humiliating yourself right now. Why would you want to do that? Move on. If you break up with him and stick to it, and if he, by any chance (which I doubt) does love you, then he will ask you to marry him - but don't count on it. Your families need to butt out right now.

Answer 8

Two things:
Either he's commitment-phobic or he's just sowing a wild oat with you. I'm more inclined to think it's the second option since you said he gets angry at the sole mention of marriage. And the fact that you can't tell anyone else is a sign of a possible abuser-controller. Open your eyes, sweetie. Most violent men can be spotted from the beginning. Is just that we fall in love so deeply we refuse to see the symptoms and pass them as a temporary disagreement.

My reccomendation? Pull out as soon as you can and be strong. If you can't find your own strength, seek it on a friend's emotional support.

There's plenty of good men out there looking for a devoted woman like yourself. But they can't find them because losers like your BF have taken them all. Give it a thought.

Any of us here can tell you a bunch of things, but is you who has the final decision.

Answer 9

Of course you don't want to marry anyone else, because he is who you love right now. But, if you leave him, and date other men, you may find someone else and fall in love with a different man. The relationship you are in now sounds like a dead end. So, leave this guy and find a man who is mature enough to be able to marry eventually.

Answer 10

1) If he is in love with you but not happy with you at the same time, what justifies his love for you? Free sex?

2) If you love him and don't want to marry anyone else,then what's stopping you from defending him in front of your families?

3) If he truly loves you,why is he leaving you to face all these problems alone?!

4) If he is a man,why didn't he tell you his reason of not wanting to get married with you??

Answer 11

i would chill and in your own self set a deadline for him to propose marriage and if he does not say to him he is your true love and if he will not be marrying you then you must move on even though he is your true love and take a break to see what your needs are and how to get them met . Be true to yourself. if angers over talking about marriage maybe he feels pressure or he is not the marrying type,what do you mean he is not happy with you get out now. sorry it just sunk in he is just not that into you,he is a user waiting for someone better so he thinks,love yourself first.