Please help me, i'm so confused, what do i do?

Question

Up until 3 months ago I was a happyish individual doing a job I thought was ok, I had a best friend who I was sleeping with, I had my own place to rent and generally interested in my hobbies.

Now i'm just a mess my FWB has left me for another man and I miss her tons and still love her, I've changed jobs and I can't concentrate on the job and I can't do it and I've had to move back home because of problems with the house. I'm so lonely and tearful and feel like no-one cares about me anymore. I'm 24 and mentally I feel about 10 because of my inabilitiy to cope with things. Some days I can pretend to be positive but inside I really miss this woman and I love her so so so much still. I feel as if I am standing on a house of cards and I could lose my job, finish with my course and be very lonely and I wouldn't really care if any of this happened. I know i'm complaining but I can't help it and it's easier to say "move on" than it actually is.

Answer 1

I'm kind of in the same situation, I feel like everything is falling apart. The best advice I can offer is to just try and concentrate on work when you are there , look after yourself by eating right and getting a bit of exercise. Stay away from booze and drugs. Even though the escape can feel good, it can easily spiral out of control when everything else is up in the air. Remember some things you liked to do and do them, even though you're down, it's never wrong to enjoy yourself. And surround yourself with people that love you and believe in you. A problem shared is a problem halved as they say, so get things off your chest if you need to. Good luck with everything, life is really tough sometimes.

Answer 2

If you are so much in love with this girl how come she was only a FWB? If she was that important to you at the time you would have let her know. Maybe you are just missing the idea of being with somebody. It's understandable that you are feeling depressed. Everything seems to be going wrong for you just now. Maybe it would be easier to deal with one problem at a time. I'd start with the job, that's easiest to deal with. Is it what you want to be doing? if not what do you want to be doing? make it happen.

Moving back in with your parents after having a place of your own can feel like a defeat. Try instead to think of it as a breathing space whilst you are sorting out other aspects of your life. Not everybody has that option so view it as a benefit.

As for the girl, well you could try telling her how you feel. She may well tell you to go away and never bother her again but what have you got to lose? If she does tell you to forget it, then you need to find some closure, just as you do with any loss, and accept the fact that you have no choice but to move on. The only option you have is to move on sucessfully or to spend the rest of your life feeling sorry for yourself. I know which I'd prefer.

Answer 3

I understand how you are feeling, but ask yourself this, if your FWB would come today to see you, do you think she would be happy to see the state of mind you are in?

It probably feels like the whole world is on your shoulders and you have nothing to live for. All your motivation is gone, but I am sure your FWB will not only be surprised, but shocked as well to see that you're sinking into the pit of despair.

Get up, tell yourself okay she's gone, if I can win her back I have to be the man she knew me as, and go out there and become once again the man she first met and got to knew. You'd be surprise, that maybe she probably want to come back, but you present mind set has her saying "that's not the man I left or the kind of man I want. As soon as trouble strikes instead of manning up, he feels sorry for himself and throw a pity party and nothign gets done."

The experiences of life shouldn't make one bitter, but better. So get set, get ready and get back to where you were, then watch with surprise the results.

Answer 4

Be grateful for being healthy. When you have this virtue then you can go further. i am 26 and i have also experienced a similar situation, betrayed and totally alone. As time will be passing by you will catch yourself taking better advantage of the new opportunities that you will meet. So gradually - and not in an instance - things will become better. Please ask yourself: does a woman who leaves you for someone else worths your love? NO, of course not! You worth much more. And as you were strong enough till now, soon you will recover and step on your feet again.Also trust your closest friends, they always have much more to give than what you expected from them...

Answer 5

If you really love her... try to get her back and take the relationship to the next level. If you don't or you can't get her back then you probably have to try to find people to hang out with and keep you busy. Besides, you might not really love her becuase you haven't really taken the relationship to that level when you had the chance. There is a high probability that you miss her like this because of the environment that surrounds you right now (job, good friends or lack there of, etc.) That's why I say try to find people to hang out with, I recommend hanging out with as many females as possible.

Answer 6

everybody gets to a cross roads in there life you have a choice here you can let yourself sink into this depression or you can fight and take control of your life again your 24 you have loads of things coming to you some good some bad!!!this girl has moved on and so can you start going out meeting new people find something new that intrests you you can do it you make your own destiny make yours good best of luck

Answer 7

AWWWWWWWWWW You are so sweet that gurl is completley out of her mind you seem like such a good well rounded person a job a house hobbies you need to forget her because deeeeeeeeepppp down you're better off without her like once i was in this really abusive relationship with a guy named Julius and i loved him but he only loved my body and he liked to hurt me so deep down u are better off without her ill take yopu out and find u a new gurl my treat [e-mail] 1-810-238-4767 im cory btw

Answer 8

Yes it is. and Yes we all have hurt. You will hurt, til you cant anymore. I much do you want to have to rebuilt your life. Try writing, I must have written thousands of pages, never mail any, kept for a while, threw them all out, then did it again.I read them ,rewrote them. but kept focus on my everyday life to survive.Read books, lots of books, I started out with self help books,and in time you will find peace and yes you will move on, maybe not the same and maybe still have feelings, but they will be in place that doesn't cause you this much pain.

Answer 9

My husband was in the same state of mind when I met him. We became friends and then fell in love. It isn't easy to move on, but you must. Find friends to hang out with and distract you from thinking of her constantly. You are alive, healthy, and you have a soul mate out there looking for you too. You must make a firm decision to move on and put action to it.

Answer 10

your situation is dire. there's no question, but if you put it in perspective, that may help. Take a sheet of paper, and write on the top center MY LIFE..then in the left top POSITIVE then top right NEGATIVE. then put a big thick line top to bottom down the center, Now begin to think of all that has happened in your life, and write it down.This exercise may help you open your mind to what great things have happened to you up to now, it will remind you of past challenges you've faced, and it may help you move on.