I've been going out with my first boyfriend for nearly 3 months now. But recently things have changed.
We used to hold hands and hug etc, basically things were romantic. But now, he seems to have lost interest. We dont do any of the things we used to, he sleeps with his back to me, and he wont hold my hand "because its cold."
Is he just comfprtable with my presence and feels that he doesnt have to try any more, or is he about to leave me?
Sorry for the possible 'stupid question' but I dont have any experience with guys.
2006-12-05 22:20:12 · 26 answers · asked by steiny_weiny 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Most guys go through a phase when they start falling in love but there not sure what they want so they become distant.. this usually is a temporary phase.. maybe he's realizing that he loves you more than he expected and is scared about the outcome.. or isn't sure if he really wants a relationship.. just give him time to think things thoroughly... if this goes on for too long... maybe you should ask him what's up.. and if he really wants this relationship as much as you do.
2006-12-05 22:30:02 · answer #1 · answered by LifeisCrazy. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, how old are you? You sound so young (nothing wrong with that at all) but he's sleeping with his back to you? Are you both living together or are we talking about a stay over sleep? It's not a stupid question that you've asked at all, but I would say as this is your first b/f maybe you should try to back off yourself a little, maybe things have moved too fast for both of you.
I don't know if you mean this is your first b/f ever or the first time you have lived with someone.
Whichever it is, the signs are not looking too good at the moment. If you're living together then something needs to be addressed, you'll need to find out from him what's going on in his head, you at least have the right to know the answer to that. If we're talking about a stay over sleep then stop him staying over, you're making yourself too ready & able for him. Let him realise that you're not there at his beck & call. I don’t mean as a punishment to him, you don’t want to start playing little games of hard to get, what I mean by that is you need to treat yourself better, with more self respect. I know this is probably going to be hard for you but the only alternative would be to get your head totally screwed up. If it means that things between you both don't work out, I know you'll probably feel as though your world is coming to an end. It isn't & it won’t. You will have many b/f's yet & lots of time to gain more insight on how relationships work. I'm not saying you'll ever totally understand what makes other's tick but experience gets us all through most situations.
Comfortable doesn't mean rejecting the other person in our lives & rejected is how you're feeling right now. Try to gauge what you want from others then stick with those choices. For me; I tend to think if I wouldn't do it I wouldn't expect it to be done to me.
It could just be that your b/f isn't in to holding hands or displays of affection, & that's fine if you're fine with it. But if you're not OK with things being that way then you really need to let him go & someone more suited to what you'll find acceptable will come into your life.
Good luck sweetie.
I wish you well.
2006-12-06 06:50:20 · answer #2 · answered by Funky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a guy thing they chase you until you say yes, they hound you for the first 2 months then they get bored and go off you......then when you get fed up and try to leave they go all silly again..
Basically they don't know what they want and it's unfair to drag you into this fickle nature!
Be strong with him, you don't want a relationship with someone who doesn't love you or give you the affection that you deserve.
2006-12-06 06:29:33 · answer #3 · answered by jessieket04 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my bf has gone like that with me i told him it feels like he is pushing me away and i don't now where i stand with him anymore he said he didn't realise he was doing it he has a lot on his mind at the moment which he does ask him if he has any worries at the moment? maybe he needs some space to sort out any problems he has also you have only been seeing him 3 months maybe things are going to fast for him he may need to take a step back from how full on your relationship has been in such a short time. give him a little space so he can sort out how he feels about you
2006-12-06 06:47:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oyo! uhm... well from my own experiences I would say that he might have as well lost interest... If heez ignoring you or as you said doen't hold your hand bla bla bla... I would recommand you to leave him... Open your eyes and look around you!!! Am sure there is someone else around you who will treat you like a queen!
Keep cool sweety!!!! :D
Don't let him seduce you with all the lovey dovey stuff again! There are better guys around...
2006-12-06 06:48:04 · answer #5 · answered by ♫\\ Wanna Be Somebody // 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is not a stupid question, i am sure that all women have been in that position before. the best advice that i could give you is to talk to him and tell him how you feel. if he does not react they you would expect or is just trying to blow you off then you need to move on before you get hurt. trust me i am 33 and i have been there many times. There wll be many others in youre life , that is why they say its only youre firtst boyfriend, it is not the end..
good luck, and remember you are just as important and you dont deserve to get hurt...
2006-12-06 06:47:03 · answer #6 · answered by mia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah,he's in the comfort zone. He dont think u'll cheat on him or do anything to hurt him. He's in control of the relationship. Dont get me wrong..he does love you but i think ud better find a way to spice up a bit the relationship. Maybe because u guys stay together and had spent too much time together at the beginning of the blossoming of the relationship.
Spice things up in bed maybe. Or maybe get an interesting hobby to share together..
He loves you but its dangerous when he doesnt have to try.
Make him jealous.
Do something okay..
Good luck
2006-12-06 06:26:14 · answer #7 · answered by kim_stolz 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Definatly not a stupid question. And from a guys perspective I can tell you that; his behavior is strange, but that doesnt mean that he is gonna leave you.
It could be for many reasons. I think you should keep trying to talk to him. He may feel bad for something hes done. he may have found out something youve done. he might be depressed. He might be under pressure from someone else. Look for other signs. Your heart will tell you what you need to know.
2006-12-06 06:25:03 · answer #8 · answered by trevathecleva 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
sounds like hes gone past the loved up honeymoon period of the romance hun.
Try talking to him - explaining that it upsets you that hes gone so cold and distant - if hes a decent sort he'll stop being like that and make an effort with you - if he doesnt you're probably better off without him! xx
2006-12-06 06:26:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how his behaviour is making you feel. Tell him reasonably and ask him if there is something bothering him. I would ask him to be honest with you but prepare to possibly hear something you don't want to. My best advice for relationships is always to think about the possible answers and consequences before you ask the question :-)
2006-12-06 06:25:30 · answer #10 · answered by flyingconfused 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋