I feel so fed up today. I don't know how to feel. I'm in a temp job (ongoing) and have been here 4 weeks.

Question

I know I’m an extremely quiet worker, shy in fact. The rest of the office is arranging a Christmas lunch and so far, I’ve not been invited. They’re talking about it now, even as I type this. Not only that, but someone’s given out some Xmas cards today and guess who was left out? I’m such a lovely girl (sorry, but true), and all I’m guilty of is being a very quiet person. I feel so excluded. I’ve tried to converse with them, but come the next day, it’s back to being excluded again.

I have every intention of giving out cards, but can't understand why I've been excluded, when I can see one card on the next desk to me and I have none.

Answer 1

Hello,

Having just read your posting I'd like to say to you, your doing NOTHING WRONG!! here and DONT assume its your fault.

This is typical office culture (dont you just love the way some groups of people behave?), in some companies people have "in" groups (insiders or cleek's) and "out" groups those that are treated as outsiders. Clearly you've been ousted, yes! excluded. My heart goes out to you as I know how that can feel, & its pretty unplesant too.

**Also you're probably in an office surrounded (by the sound of it) by people who are more (or very) extrovert in their personalities. You sound to be more introverted in nature & theres nothing wrong with that at all. Your natural way of being is perhaps to be more quiet, it would feel uncomfortable for you to be loude & very outgoing.

**Temporary staff are NOT seen or viewed or treated the same as more permanent staff in such a company. Temp staff are perhaps seen as a threat not deliberately so (unconsciously by others) and this might also be why they have excluded you, you are seen as an outsider or that you wont be with them for very long and so they are not willing (rightly or wrongly) in make you feel as welcomed and included.

Sorry! there are no easy or clear cut answers to this situation. I think you have to be true to yourself and ask yourself if these people have been that rude and unkind to you, do you really? want to be included in their group anyway? whats so great about them if there are so insensitive towards you & your feelings.

IMO just go to work and do the best job you can under what are difficult conditions and then leave when the time comes. I wouldnt be willing to fall over backwards for ANY of these people if they have treated you so badly.

IR

Answer 2

Start by giving them christmas cards, with a lovely smile. Temps do get excluded I know. Is your agency doing anything collective for its temps? Bring in some home made mince pies. It does sound as if they are a thoughtless lot so you might just be better of moving on somewhere else and starting afresh. You can't win 'em all. Merry Christmas anyway, I hope things work out.

Answer 3

Temps really get the shaft. When there is revolving door to the job the regulars don't want to get too attached.
Try and find a permanent job. You will get treated much better. They might even give you a turkey for Christmas.

Answer 4

The cards and pies are both great ideas, also, you could try and invite some of them out for a drink after work one friday. If they see you outside of work too, they may warm to you.

Good luck, I truly hope they warm to you, the quietest people are generally the nicest people.

BTW, never say sorry for being lovely, it's you and you should be proud of the fact!

Answer 5

in my opinion,you must ask them that you must be invited,because you are a worker in the company,if
they don't agree,you ask them for the reason!!!
i am your supporter!! good luck and merry christmas!!

Answer 6

Perhaps you should give out some cards to your colleagues...