Help* How should a 12-year-old girl behave? My mother and I both believe in tough love per-say. But my 12-year-old sister just doesn't have any Respect for anybody. She has always been stubborn like the rest of the family. But the real trouble began just about 7-8 months ago. Since than, we've caught her smoking, 3 miles away from where she was suppose to be at 1 a.m., talking inappropriate and cussing... The list goes on and on. We have grounded her from the phone, TV, the computer, the PS2 and friends and curtain activities. But nothing seems to be working. What should we do? How should a 12-year-old girl behave? Help*
2006-12-05 20:36:10 · 10 answers · asked by tlcrazy_legs 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
It is hard to take things away when they have already seen and experienced bad behavior but it is not impossible.
What in the world does a 12 yr old have being out at 1 a.m.?
The grounding is a good step. Keep this up, be stern and don't waiver. But at the same time try to develop communication and relationship with her. She is trying to fill a void. Maybe you and your mom can do that and not let it be filled with the world.
Also foolishness is bound up in a child and the rod of reproof shall drive it out.
Also a good ole butt whoopin won't hurt either.
2006-12-05 20:42:25 · answer #1 · answered by egg_sammash 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi! I have a 13-year old daughter. At age 12, 13, their behaviour can be a bit odd, because theres so much changing in them, hormones and all, and that can be real confusing. Then the transition to high school, new friends, etc.
In the past, did you guys have a good and open relationship? Could you talk openly and trust each other? May be talking is more helpful at the moment than punishing. I mean, yes, of course, its very important to set her boundaries, but may be cut down on the punishment side. They need good and conistent boundaries to make them feel safe and secure, also they'll feel more loved if they know how far they can go. May be, to get her to more co-operation, make her feel good at home. Joke together, make her a compliment, ask her about school, her friends. Invite her friend/s, so you're more in control of that aspect. Show a real interest in her and lots of love. Tell her how you feel when she's behaving in certain ways. If this doesnt work, then may be contact a counsellor who can help! You could ask for one at her school. Wishing you all the best and Im sure it'll all work out soon! God bless. Gini.
2006-12-05 21:58:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You put her to work in the house! An ugly face gets slapped, a fat mouth gets slapped, and Computer comes out of the room, so does everything else!. If the door is slammed, it comes off the hinges. No money what so ever!
You sit with her when she does her home work, sloppy papers get torn up! Don’t think about being ugly!
General clean the bath room EVER Saturday, Lousy job, do it over again!
All clothes come out of the closet except one jean, one blouse,
One set of underwear, one pair of socks.. She wants them clean?
She washes them! Dishes get washed without the dish machine! Her turn every other day.
Got ugly issues, it costs. Don't even let her think you will not spank her behind! I did not say BEAT!! But she needs to know that YOU are the parent, YOUR word is LAW! And there is not going to be any UGLY unless it comes from you!
Go through the room you let her sleep in and check out EVERYTHING! There should be nothing in a Childs room and that the parent does not know where it came from, how the child got it, who gave it to her without your permission!
Have a light out time, and that does not change! Definitely, NO TV!
Either you start acting like a PARENT, which has not been the case, other wise you would not have these issues?
Giving everything a child sets its eye on is not parenting!
Giving money without work undermines respect, values and don't give a damm attitudes!
You do not need help! That is your child, you are responsible, and you got what you allowed. Stop putting it on the child and start PARENTING! What would your grandmother do if you acted the way this child does?
2006-12-05 21:56:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
she has obviously got away with a lot of bad behavior in the past , as i have an 11 year old daughter and she would be way to scared to try and do anything like that . and once a child has crossed the boundaries its hard to get em back on track . you need to find here weakest point and use that against her . find something she really loves to do and take it away from her. and if that dosn,t work then sit her down aand explain what shes doing to mom , or look up something on the net about children her age that have done things like that and what the out come was to show to her . good luck with this one
2006-12-05 20:50:27 · answer #4 · answered by LITTON M 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
have you and the rest of your family pay attention to her?
maybe you haven't care much for her... but i don't know ok? it's not like i'm accussing you or something...
the best way is to talk with her, and if it's still didn't work either, hug her. if she revolting, keep hug her tight... you're her brother aren't you? tell her how much she meant to all of you... if you have to, kiss her cheek... the point is let her listen to you first, then make her love you... care for her.. listen to all her problems, tell her that she can tell anything she wants to you.. and if she says something rude about you or your family, don't yell at her, don't be mad at her... just say sorry and be a loving person...
love always works for everything... it's just take some time...
good luck there brother...
2006-12-05 22:24:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like her parents allow her to behave. She is not a teen, and should not be treated as such. If she still talks back or behaves like a little girl, her mom or dad should pull down her pants, plop her over the lab and spank her bottom good!!! She is only 12 your running out of time to ensure her teen years are more manageable.
Good Luck
2006-12-05 21:25:17 · answer #6 · answered by olschoolmom 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think she should see a psychiatrist (however you spell it), you know, someone who can give professional help. The way you make it her sound, seems like she wouldn't agree to going... so don't tell her that she's going.
My mom wanted me to go, but I did't want to. She shouldn't have told me, maybe if I went, I would know what to do with my life and not be so confused and depressed.
2006-12-05 20:43:37 · answer #7 · answered by ?Johanna Loves Superman? 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A 12 year old girl behaves in ways as she is taught.
2006-12-05 20:37:59 · answer #8 · answered by Brightside 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
sounds like a good ol fashion sit down with parents and parents stick to what you say and how you say it .TUFF LOVE HURTS, but look at how she may already be hurting herself. a cry for help need to be answered quickly. soon to be in her tweens!
2006-12-05 22:20:54 · answer #9 · answered by brbrnorsworthy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like a lady. Tell her if she doesn't straighten up she'll be going to boot camp.
2006-12-05 23:29:28 · answer #10 · answered by baddrose268 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋