My husband has expressed to me that he feels I am treating him 'like a little kid' because I ask where he is or what he is doing.
I always thought this was a normal natural part of being married. Am I out of line?
2006-12-05 19:37:47 · 15 answers · asked by robet_vegas 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Woah that came off wrong - I don't call and ask where he is or what he is doing often, but when I am going somewhere I tell him, and if he asked what I was doing i would tell him. It just seems natural to me.
2006-12-05 19:45:37 · update #1
I don't expect to know where my partner is 24/7 but if he was going somewhere that he didnt normally go I would hope that he would tell me. Trust your husband, and he will tell you what he's doing and where he's going!
2006-12-05 19:43:40 · answer #1 · answered by michelle s 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
On the one hand, it can be kind of natural to ask anyone we live with where they're headed when they leave the house. On the other hand, there are times when you can imagine how it may be nice to be able to come and go without being asked where we're headed.
Maybe whether its normal or not depends on how much you really care about where he's going or how much you'll think about it if he tells you. I sometimes ask my son just out of a kind of small-talk type of thing. I don't really care where he's going. If that's what you do then its normal. If you're more "interested" in where he's going then maybe that's a little too much.
He seems a little oversensitive and insecure about his "adulthood" if this makes him feel like a little kid - that is unless you're a little more invested in where he goes beyond just small talk.
Generally, it isn't right to expect him to tell you where he is at all times. That's different from commenting, "Heading out to the bank?" as he gets his coat. One thing abusive husbands do is insist their wives tell them where they are at all times.
2006-12-06 03:48:31 · answer #2 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NORMAL, YES. This is what I have always thought. But then i guess that would be only if the activities taking place while the others away, are on the level.
The level of Doing only the things while apart, as they would do also IN Your Presence.
Honey How was your day? NEED WE PRY to GET ANY ANSWERS,?
I'm not talking about detailed notes of the day. Just maybe making me feel as though we still share something.
Oh shoot, off I went.... Anyway, I think your being reasonable. Good luck
2006-12-06 03:56:04 · answer #3 · answered by Mikez Bad Girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People obviously have different opinions on this, but me and my husband always know or have a sense where each other is. I thought that was one of the nice things about being married--if you are missing, your spouse will notice. I don't think there is anything wrong AT ALL about asking your hubby casually where he is during a phone conversation. This is assuming you aren't calling every hour on the hour for status updates. I think it is strange that he wouldn't just say where he is naturally during the conversation.
2006-12-06 03:57:17 · answer #4 · answered by Smart_ca_latina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Michelle hit it right on!
Unless - If your feeling insecure beacuse he's blown a SERIOUS "trust" with you...(trust your instincts)...short of that if you keep doing this and he's innocent, you'll only serve to drive a wedge and could actually hasten your relationships demise with a self fullfilling prophecy....so DO as Michelle states if all else is well.
"I don't expect to know where my partner is 24/7 but if he was going somewhere that he didnt normally go I would hope that he would tell me. Trust your husband, and he will tell you what he's doing and where he's going!"
2006-12-06 03:50:47 · answer #5 · answered by Scott L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no I think that it is kind of normal that you wanna know what is going on or where he is if it takes him longer to come home.
I am a kind of person that wants to know if something is going on and if it will be late when my husband is coming home. But also I think you have to be careful not to ask him too many times and not to call him every five minutes to ask where he is at.
Then it shouldn't be a problem I guess.
2006-12-06 03:44:22 · answer #6 · answered by silket23 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is a difference between common curtesy and being controlling....if one of you is going out, it would be common courtesy to say...honey, I'm going shopping be back in 2 hours...etc. It would be controlling to want to know what someone is doing if they go into the next room, out in the yard, or if you call during the day to ask that question.....maybe you need to find out more specifically what it is he objects to ...good luck
2006-12-06 03:49:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Way out of line! What if he called you every 5 minutes demanding to know where you are, with who, and why? It would drive you crazy! Let me guess: he's got a cell and you use it like a electric dog collar? Leave the poor man alone and quit being so jealous of nothing. If he wants to let you know where he is, he will. PERIOD.
2006-12-06 03:41:42 · answer #8 · answered by zelgadiss 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, I don't think its normal. Who cares where they are at all times? If you trust, then you know that he's not cheating. Don't treat your husband like a child and act like you're worried about where he is at all times. Men hate that.
P.S. When I don't want to be found, I turn my cell phone off because I don't think my husband has to know where I am at ALL times!
2006-12-06 03:40:53 · answer #9 · answered by marincaligirl 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
When my spouse is out I roughly know where he is, but not 100% sure. No one will know for sure no matter how much you question them. If they are honest they won't mind your questioning. If they have something to hide, they will get angry.
2006-12-06 10:44:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋