its been a year now and i dont see an end in sight. i see her 2 or 3 times a week but its hard to sent her home to a abusive husband every night. their child is his control over her. he signed his guardianship away after he had her arrested, so his parents have the child. she's a great mother and will not give up on her only chance to get her daughter back.i know this is selfish but i'm tired of being alone and of worrying about her safety every minute.its really starting to seem as if there is no end. i'm 100% in-love with this woman and i found quitting the relationship impossible so far. she claims to feel just as strong. when do i draw the line? a year is along time to be alone and completely faithful when she cant be doing the same. am i an idiot? thats how i feel sometimes
2006-12-05 19:03:45 · 10 answers · asked by Kevin C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
very abusive husband. i have seen the bruises. her mother died when she was 8. no father at all in her life she vows not to put her daughter thru life like hers.
2006-12-05 19:28:24 · update #1
Hi Kevin, Firstly I commend you for standing by the woman you love. But .......... I hate to say this, it seems that her feelings for you are not mutual. Why do I say this? firstly, if her husband has signed over his guardianship, and the child is with his parents, why does she need to go home to him and be abused even more? Secondly, if she got out of this abusive marriage, and settled down into a more secure and loving relationship, then surely the family courts would arrange for her child to be returned to her, after all, the grandparents have no legal rights to hold onto the child, even though they are granted guardianship at the present moment, and thank god they are, and keeping the child safe from her abusive father. Thirdly, if she really does want out of her abusive marriage, and wants her daughter back so badly, why is she still with her abusive husband? after all, there is no chance of getting her daughter back, while she is still there. I would certainly sit your girlfriend down and put these points to her. You have stood by and supported her for over 12 months now, it is time for her to make her move. She has the chance of being in a kind loving relationship with you, or, staying with her abusive husband. I know this will be hard for you Kevin, but I personally think she wants her cake and to eat it also, it is time to be firm with her, and to get her to lay her cards on the table. I wish you the best of luck, and hope it works out alright for you.
2006-12-05 19:26:52 · answer #1 · answered by Mark S 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You understand what your a shameless man, actually you've gotten been dishonest in your spouse from the time you bought married and even earlier than. Why did you get married to her within the first location when you nonetheless desire to hold slipping with nine exclusive ladies. The high-quality factor so that you can do it provide her a divorce sure for definite inform her. and why the hell will have to you be even involved approximately custody you do not deserve the children additionally. LEAVE HER
2016-09-03 11:42:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she keeps going back to her husband, then she is sleeping with him. Look if she wants to leave him she can, and she must not put a child between her life.
She could file for divorse then claim for the child.
And why was she in prison?? what did she do??? why did she get arrested.
But one thing, if you are sure she loves you and NOT JUST TALK, then never mind, stay with her, comfort her, love her, and show her that you will always be there. She will end up tired and will come to you asking to stay forever in your arms.
But please, if she is still living with an abusive husband, then maybe she likes him and doesnt want to leave him, or he hasnt abused her enough for her to leave him.
2006-12-05 19:10:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have to move on. Even you said this so many times in your question. Being involved with this woman is a mistake. I am not saying that she asked for her husband to abuse her or to break his promises to love her. But she is clearly in a very serious situation. She has made it clear that her devotions belong to her child. This is honorable. But still she is another man's wife even if their marriage is in a bad state. In the future you should avoid being involved with anyone who is married or that has children with someone else. Find a mate who is loyal and who has only space for you.
2006-12-05 19:16:49 · answer #4 · answered by Mom_of_two 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Why is is taking so long to get this matter into divorce court? The woman needs to get this matter into court and before a judge and get the matter settled. Are you sure she wants to divorce this man? Child custody divorces can be messy, but no movement in the matter for a year is a bit extreme. I would urge her to get her attorney to get this into court now.
2006-12-05 19:10:35 · answer #5 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If her husband is that abusive why does she stay? She may not be telling you the truth about her marriage. She's been leading you on for a year?
2006-12-05 19:15:41 · answer #6 · answered by ~*~Tessa~*~ 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If she wanted to leave she would have by now cut your loses and move on. her story about the child is bullshit its not the reason she is staying
2006-12-05 20:04:38 · answer #7 · answered by Amy M 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she doesn't wan'na leave... she enjoy the drama and attention... move-on you dont want that drama
2006-12-05 19:07:26 · answer #8 · answered by Morena 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
if you truly love her, you'll understand her situation..and if that's true love, you'll wait...
2006-12-05 19:08:54 · answer #9 · answered by gracie 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
she's lying to you. she'll never leave.
2006-12-05 20:01:18 · answer #10 · answered by marincaligirl 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋