I am scared to death....But I feel completely helpless PLEASE help!?

Question

Can someone give some information about head injures, if someone could come out of it if they have a traumatic head injury? Yesterday on his way home from work my dad was in a car accident. He's in critical condition with head and internal injuries. A truck slid into his car on the ice head on.The doctors said that hes not brain dead but he still will not wake up. I've been crying all day. Im so scared, I made myself sick from crying and being scared. I can't go see my dad. My mom and even the doctors told me I have to go see him but I can't make myself do it. To make it worse there are things I need to tell him. I can't remember the last time I said I loved him or hugged him. He tells me he loves me every day and tries to make me hug him but I always push him away. I was talking to one of his nurses and she told me that touch is very important. But I can't make myself do it. Maybe Im scared he'll hear me or feel me. I dont know it just freaks me out!!! Could someone PLEASE reply!Thx!

This morning I went in to see him, and I held his hand. I coulnd't bring myself to anything for a long time but i finally said "I LOVE YOU" and I begged him to come back to me. And I kissed his cheek and I kept holding his hand for a sign and after I said I LOVE YOU for about the 3rd time I could feel his hand move and it wasn't just a little twitch but it felt like he SQUEEZED my hand. I was so excited that I ran and got my mom. My mom has been so upset and scared and crying and she was so excited too. The doctors told us just a little while ago that his brained is swelled, and it will take awhile for it to go down. I was really freaked out because it really doesn't look my dad laying there. They can't tell about any permanent damages yet. Im so excited! Thanks everyone for the advice and kind words..i will keep everyione posted.

Answer 1

Have your mom, be there for you if you are scared. Tell him that you love him and no matter what happens, you are going to make him a proud dad.

I'm sorry for your tragedy.

Answer 2

I'm so sorry.
I have a friend who fell asleep at the wheel. He was in a coma for 3 months from all the damage - so much head injury they said he'd never walk again. His family used touch alot, but it was hard for his sister. Yet, he awoke after she had started to do that - as if it was all he was waiting for.
Maybe you're feeling guilty for pushing him away all this time, and maybe you were just being your adolescent self.. it's okay. When the fear of losing someone really hits, as it has you, you have only this chance to reach out. It will help him more than you know. You should really try to take that step - start off on your own, telling him all those things you never did, even if it feels fake, then just touch his hand.

I wish your dad all the best. My friend is 100% recuperated now, with family and children, and very, very fulfilled. You may be scared he'll feel you touch him, but are you not more afraid that you may never get the chance again? I wish you well.

Answer 3

I was in a car accident also and suffered a head injury. I didn't wake up right away, but eventually I did. And I funcntion as if I wasn't in an accident. If the doctor's don't see any damage then maybe he is seeing why God put him in that accident and let him survive. Just be glad he is still there and that he is no brain dead. It has only been one day, your dad WILL wake up. Just be there when he does. and dry your eyes. God does things for a reason, and that's to make us stronger.

Answer 4

Yes, people can fully recover from head trauma. Your dad needs you right now. You must be brave and see him. He can still hear you, even in a coma, tell him that you love him. Tell him that you are sorry for the times you pushed him away. Tell him you are praying for him and that you need him to get better. You know how bad you feel about not saying and doing those things? Avoiding him now will only make your feelings of guilt worse with time. Be a brave person go to the hospital and see your father.

Answer 5

When my father died i didnt do any of that stuff either and i kick myself every single day for it. As far as him making it, it just depends on how serious his head injuries are. If his brain is swelling that is bad news. Maybe the doctors mean he will be in a comma forever. Or in a vegtable like state. To be honest I don't think the doctors can predict things like that. I've seen some really bad things and people still survive, and then again some simple things that kill people. you never know. Just cherish every second and pray for the best.

Answer 6

I wonder if you stay awake at night, crying and scared about all the Ethiopians that are starving or how win the war in Iraq? There are things out of your control, and worrying about them will only make you worse, because there is nothing you can do about them.

My dad fell while riding his bike and broke his hip a year ago, and I came home from work to find him in pain(but not showing it), sitting in a chair, asking me calmly to go get his bag from the closet, pack him a few things, and make sure to feed his cat, etc. I was panicing and wanting to drive him to the hospital the minute I flew through the door, but he wouldn't let me. I had to carry him to the car in my own arms, but still he maintained composure all the way to the ER and even after he found out his leg was broken. Point is, I bet your dad would want you to be calm and want you to be unafraid as he is.

Answer 7

I don't know how many answers you are going to get to this question but you'd better listen to this one ,,,, I just lost my girlfriend on the 2nd of December ,,,, We loved each other dearly ,,,, She had a cronic lung condition that turned fatal ,,,, We were together eleven years ,,,, Although I loved her with all my heart I never managed to tell her that very often ,,,, I always busied myself with other things ,,,, None the less I depended on her always being there ,,,,, Now she isn't and her bed is empty as is the house ,,,, All I have left of her is her two little tea cup dogs ,,,, It's very apparent that they miss her very much ,,,, It's like they some how realize that Momma isn't coming home this time ,,,, Now I set here wishing that I would have been more attentive to her ,,,, God how I wish that ,,,, Every part of this house is her she's everywhere I look but right here in front of me where I could put my arms around her and tell her that I do love her very much and that every thing will be alright from now on ,,,,One of the things that hurts the most is when her daughter told me that she told her that she was lonely ,,,, I wasn't attuned to that fact at all but now I am ,,,, My grief is getting to the point where it's becoming unbarable ,,,, I don't know what I'm going to do with out her and life just doesn't seem like it's worth going on ,,,, How I wish that I could just have another chance ,,,, It will never happen ,,,, She's gone now to a place where I can't follow ,,,, She's beyond hearing me shout ,,,, THis aganoy is never going to quit ,,,,, It's not going to go away ,,,,, I've realized that you never know what you have until you don't have it any more ,,,,, From what you've explained of your father ,,,, He's in a coma ,,,, the next step from there is either to regain conciousness or dye ,,,,, As I understand it people in a coma are aware of what's going on around then and who is speaking to them ,,,,, If you have any sence at all you'd better run not walk to where he's at and get busy with him ,,,, YOu only have one father and it sounds like you only have one chance ,,,, How I wish I had the chance you have right now ,,,,,, if he goes with out you contacting him you will lose a once in a life time chance of reconciling with him ,,,,, If you think you are having trouble now ,,,,, then just let him go ahead and dye with out you having tried to contact him and see what you feel then ,,,, I'm at the point beyond return now and I'm in constant agony and it doesn't look like it's going to go away ,,,, I still love her that much ,,,,, She was cremated this morning and she's gone now for ever ,,,, I don't know what to do with myself ,,,,, The price for my short commings is so great ,,,, I don't know how to put into words what I'm feeling right now ,,,,, It's so bad I don't think there are any ,,,, Don't be stupid ,,,,, What you say you are suffering now is just a walk in the park compared to what you are going to feel if you let this go ,,,, Just take this for what it's worth ,,,,,

Answer 8

Listen - people CAN come out of those kinds of traumatic head injuries. Sometimes it takes a while for it to happen, and a lot of times it's a gradual process. He may (probably will) need therapy to recover from his injuries, and he may never fully recover.

However, think about what has been going on with your lives. He's been telling you that he wants to be closer to you, and you've been running from him. But you still love him, right?

He needs you right now, and you need to be there for him. Don't let your fear stop you from doing what you have to do or you'll have to live with that for the rest of your life.

Answer 9

YOU already know what you have to do.... go to the hospital and see him and give him a hug NOW.
Go with a close friend that will drive the car. You are too upset to drive.
Have faith in the doctors and medical team. Think positively! Think of how you are going tobe a better daughter after all this is over and your father is well again.
I will pray for you today, miss. good luck.... Trevor.

Answer 10

Sweetheart if there was ever a time to be strong for your dad this is it! it's clear you love him and to hug him and say those words to him could literally be what pulls him out of his coma..I am not kidding..you know he loves you sometimes when it's hardest we find out we are much stronger than we think and as scared as it makes you imagine the worst case and you don't summon the guts to go see hold him and he doesn't make it...you'll have the rest of your life full of guilt for not having visited him while you could...He's hanging in go give him a reason to pull out and recover..you won't regret that decision I promise...your mom needs you to be there for her too...this is not any easier for her than it is for you..Good luck and I'll keep him in my prayers you should too