I don't know if they hate me due to my race, socioeconomic background, that I live 2000 miles away or that I'm older. If I confront them it would make me feel better but if I don't Ill go CRAZY!
2006-12-05 18:18:54 · 13 answers · asked by Leslie G 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
mine to and i have never confronted them just swallow your pride and let it go sooner or later they will realize that they are hating you for nothing you continue to treat them as you have also treated them with respect
2006-12-05 18:27:14 · answer #1 · answered by alfa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it's the case where you haven't spent all that much time with you to be inlaws, then it might be awkward when all of you are together. Because at the table you have some really close relationships next to really new ones, and there's all this pressure and expectation.
The problem with confronting someone, you don't know well enough is that you can cut someone badly without realizing. In the end it makes you the bad guy. These aren't random people, but folks that are supposed to be a part of your new family in the future. Trust builds family, but trust builds slowly.
If you need to confront, confront your fiance in private. When something must be said to your inlaws - it's your husband's responsiblity to be that spokesperson. If you can't trust him to look out for you, well you may have other things to worry about besides his parents.
take care and best of luck in your family
2006-12-06 03:23:45 · answer #2 · answered by Kshaw5 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a lot of reasons to make them disaprove. If you are an opposite race, you are not from their economic status, you are super far away that takes him far away and you are the older woman.
NOT BEING MEAN.. just hear me out.
If this were your son, you may be a bit hesitant too. You cannot do OR say anything that will make them change the way they feel. You can't make someone feel something, they have to want to feel it.
I had inlaws that hated me for years....I was always respectful and all that.....it didnt matter. I wasted lots of energy on that upset. And I have been divorced 16 yrs and still have nightmares about them in my dreams. I'm NOT kidding you. It can really affect you. If I could go back now........I would never have cared.
You are lucky to live far away.......the best revenge is living a good life. Remember that.......and have the best marriage in the world. THAT will be your best conversation with them.
Good luck sweets.. been there....listen to my words. The best revenge will be living a great married life with their son. No words need to be said.
:)
2006-12-06 02:55:35 · answer #3 · answered by SunValleyLife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the parents don't approve of you then the marriage will most likely not work. I am really not trying to be mean or hurt your feelings but I have been married for 3 years and my husband and I could have never made it work if our family didn't get along. (Even my mother in law and husbands relatives live in another country in Asia and we are in the USA). If my husbands mother was unwilling to accept me as his new bride, then I never would have married because no blessings are a bad sign and one day my husband would resent me for this reason that I kept him away from his family.
But on the other hand, if your prospective husband is not close to his family and has no wish to be near them or communicate with them much then there is no reason why you should bother to confront them and you should marry him. But don't confront them because in any case it is not respectful to your fiance. Be mature and let it go. Also it is important for your family to accept him.
2006-12-06 02:29:15 · answer #4 · answered by Mom_of_two 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why even waste your time? they are not the ones you have a relationship with, its their son who you love not them.Don't let them get under your "skin" (lol) be a bigger person and show them that it doesn't matter what they think or even "how" they think. Its not their choice anymore, its your fiance's life and yours.You let them feel superior by the mere fact of letting them see you upset. Ignore them, love their son even more and it will be them who will be unhappy or they can accept without your confrontation which make things difficult for you and your fiance. If that happens then they win. If you get upset and want to argue, confront which ever, they succeeded in getting what they want from you. A "I told you ......" to their son, which may make things difficult between the two of you. Enjoy their son, be happy. It truly is the best way to win and the most rewarding. Enjoy, be happy, be safe. good luck to you
2006-12-06 02:28:42 · answer #5 · answered by Nikie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont confront them. It will only cause trouble. Just be nice and respectful to them and eventually they will come to their senses, and if they dont then try not to let it hurt you and just live a good life with their son. They live far away and you wont have to deal with them too much anyway. sorry its like that. some people are so ignorant.
2006-12-06 02:32:06 · answer #6 · answered by meeahcat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when we marry, we have to accept the family also, if u choose to confront it will not change a thing about how they feel. just keep it safe and don't confront, do the best you can to win them over. it would not make u feel better to confront them.
2006-12-06 17:03:05 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what you mean by confronting them?Did they ever say anything to you?Did they do anything to you?Just be yourself and show them,who you really are.Nothing matters besides your love for one another.Have respect for them as her parents.Treat them the way you would your parents,and you'll see the results.Good luck to you.
2006-12-06 02:27:56 · answer #8 · answered by avavu 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Be prepared to have a married life without them.
2006-12-06 07:00:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not marrying them...if he loves and respects you and takes good care of you that is what counts.
Be yourself and if they can't handle it...so be it!
2006-12-06 02:30:50 · answer #10 · answered by kanarain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋