how can you overcome insecurity?

Question

which causes shyness and being uncomfortable in public

Answer 1

Insecurity is the big umbrellla, but in more detailed means this is what happens.

You have been conditioned all your life not to fully express yourself as you are, but rather supress your ideas or emotions if they are not compatible with the society or friends around which you are living.

Due to that conditioning, you have created a big illusionary image in yourself that helps you to uncover who you really are by filtering out words or ideas that you think your friends (or whoever) will not appreciate.

Now this is what happens when you come to speaking in public. Your subconcious is being aware that it would be very hard now to keep your "fake" image alive infront of a great audience, since those people sitting out there are imagined as criticizing brains, who will look for a one word mistake in your proposal.

The struggle in your subconcious that arises trying to withhold the fake image, makes all your audiences become literally "your enemies", and the evolutionary fight or flight response is generated in your body. You sweat, your adrenaline rises, your blood pressure is increased somehow, and you feel anxious/afraid of any outcome.

Now as you understand the process, here's what you can do about it:

On the short term, during public presentations:
- Do as much of them as you can despite your fear of it.
- Challenge yourself on stage, by prolonging the duration or whatever means you find.

On the long term, in your life:
- Say what you believe in with your friends, and don't be afraid of expressing your own unique opinion.
- Make it clear for others and yourself, that you are independant in your views and that you are a unique identity. You are yourself, not the group, and you don't give a damn about what others will say on you.

Answer 2

The best way and most proven way is to decide on what insecurities you have and them tackle them one by one.
For instance, if you have a problem with just speaking to people, when you're in a public place and you happen to walk by someone- just say "hello, how are you?" Learning to overcome your simple insecurities first will be a building block to help you overcome the big ones. Also, try smiling at people, they will then tend to want to talk to. These things will help build your confidence and self-esteem. Good Luck to you. YOU CAN DO IT!!

Answer 3

One technique that therapists use is a form of desensitization. The cure is in the act; literally exposing yourself over and over to your feared situation. There are various ways of doing this. You can start out with visualization-visualize yourself in your feared situations and then when it becomes overwhelming, use deep breathing, counting backwards etc. to calm yourself and try again. Then move on to real situations, use friends and family to role play or if that feels silly, just expose yourself to different social situations-don't forget your breathing. Example: Goal #1 start up a casual conversation with a store clerk or gym goer, etc. about the weather, try to keep it up for 30 seconds or maybe less. then keep exposing yourself, challenge yourself. You can only become more self-confident by taking a risk to reach your goals, you can't achieve anything without risk. Good luck.

Answer 4

well you have to think of what you really good at whether is trivia, science, your job what ever it might be you level of skills , you can use the same tools to overcome you fears disappointments is only a small % percentage of what you missing , you can start practicing in chatting on line as long as you polite no one can be mean to you even if they are, just know this , they don't pay your expenses the end of the month , you do.

Answer 5

i used to be shy when i was in grade school and a little of middle school. i still care what ppl think about me to an extent, but not as much as i used to. i was insecure, but eventually i overcame it cause i was tired of being shy. im really outgoing and friendly now. one thing that may help is by hanging out wit ppl that are outgoing and not shy at all. that was prolly part of my cure. thats the best answer i have to offer from experience!

Answer 6

I wish I knew...I suffer from it myself : (