We didn't encourage her kids to call me Dad. They just did it on their own. One was 1 year old when I met her and the other one was 2. We actually talked about marriage and all that, so it's not like we didn't see a real future. The details of why our relationship ended really don't make a difference as to my question. So, here it is: What's the best thing to do for the kids? They miss me and ask her constantly why I'm not coming home to see them. On one hand, I feel like I should at least be there for them. Unfortunately, they're not my biological kids, so is this right or wrong? Or, should I just cut ties completely. Or, should I see them less and less until they get used to the idea (while explaining to them) that I will not be around as much in the future. You know, phasing myself gradually out of their lives? Reconciliation with her is not an option. Please, only mature responses and real advice, as there are real lives involved and ultimately is not the kids fault.
2006-12-05
17:31:16
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6 answers
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Family & Relationships
➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Thank you so much for your mature responses. I really appreciate the feedback. I really DO LOVE THIS KIDS with all my heart. But, I also undertand how my relationship with them may affect her or my future relationships. I want to do what's best for the kids now. I've already done what's best for me which was end the relationship. Believe me, I tried and tried to make it work. But, some things just can't be fixed.
2006-12-05
17:41:49 ·
update #1
Once again, thanks for the newest responses. We have talked about it and we're both confused as to what could be done. I've considered severing ties with them (all of them) completely for fear of misleading her into thinking that I want her back. I don't, as she has proven time and time again that our relationship as it was would be more harmful to the kids and us than beneficial. I have thought about staying away, and maybe just writing to them (have her mom read the letters to them of course). I really don't know. I'm just considering the best option(s) FOR THE KIDS. They're innocent angels.
2006-12-05
17:45:47 ·
update #2
I will like to add that the heart knows no wrong when falling in love with someone (kids or not). Believe me, I considered (or thought I did) the consequences of having this type of relationship. But, in the end, I let my heart guide me. I don't think I made the wrong choice. I spend a couple of wonderful years with them and raising them as best as I knew how. They do love me and that's proof that at least I seem to be doing something right. Their biological parents did not want anything to do with them. I did not pursue this relationship because of them. Also, I don't have any kids of my own. I'm fertil (lol). I just have been very careful in my relationships.
2006-12-05
17:49:55 ·
update #3