Okay, I'm married to a really awsome guy. I'm absolutely in love with him and would never ever do anything to hurt him. The problem is: I think I am attracted to one of his friends. I flirt with this guy, shamelessly. My husband thinks it's funny and it started out as a joke, but now it kind of scares me. My husband even jokingly calls this guy my boyfriend. Now, I can't control the flirtation. It just happens. It's like a sickness or something. The other part of the problem is: I think this guy is starting to form an attraction too.
What should I do? They are really good friends and they like to hang out together a lot. I have taken to just not hanging out when they ask me because I don't want to give any wrong impression to either one of them. I am not going to cheat on my husband with this guy or any other guy. But, I always have that pit in my stomach around them. Do you think this will go away? Has anyone else had a problem like this? I feel like a bad person.
2006-12-05 17:05:39 · 9 answers · asked by MsLongBeach 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You're doing the right thing by avoiding him for a while. At this point it's a nervous reaction. You need to learn to be more relaxed around him, detach from your attraction, & joke without flirting.
2006-12-05 17:09:13 · answer #1 · answered by pr1ncezz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just Stop. Attraction is one thing, everybody has it with other people to varying levels. Being an adult means being able to control it. Being married means you better control it if you want to keep your husband. This is juvenile. Stop.
Make polite conversation. Tell him your not comfortable with anything that's making you feel 'flirtatious'. Talk to your husband next time he tells you its 'funny'. It's not. It's a serious issue for you and it needs to be treated as such.
You could be treating his not caring about it as a sign that your relationship with him is not as strong as it should be. He might be saying one thing, but could be thinking another and not wanting to hurt your feelings by accusing you of something. He may not act like it matters, but it does matter.
Start flirting with your husband instead and find the 'friend' a girl friend who's not OFF LIMITS.
2006-12-06 01:14:32 · answer #2 · answered by bionicbookworm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should tell your husband about this attraction. You need to take steps so that it won't end up with you and his friend in bed together. No matter how strong any body is, if the situation arose some time down the road, most everyone would give in. It always starts with something small like flirting.
Anyway, if telling your husband is totally out, then I'd say try to avoid them as much as possible. Try to find new friends to get yourself wrapped up in and try to just stay away from him. If that doesn't work, really think about things. Would you want to end up with his friend? Or would you rather stay married? Every time you're around him, try thinking about those things and hopefully it will get easier.
<3,
2006-12-06 01:13:24 · answer #3 · answered by sxenerdx <3s her sweet baby 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You love your husband with all your heart liek you said corect? Well as humans we are all tempted to follow what people say and cuz of how your husband joke around bout his friend being your bf and all your heart and mnd must have interacted and is making you think you like him in some manner. Flirting can get you into ALOT of trouble, if your serious bout loving your husband than id say talk to your husband and tell him how much you love him and ask him to stop with the joking cuz it makes you feel un easy about your friendship with the guy cuz you dont wish for him to fall for you.
2006-12-06 01:12:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
PHEW!! I might be wrong...But I am senseing that you and your hubby may not be as connected (emotionally..spiritually..etc ) as yall ought to be... You "can't control the flirtation"? I bet you could! ..but it seems to be meeting a need that is not getting met otherwise......
Your concisous is trying to warn you...that's why you feel like a "bad person"........ But I do not think you are a bad person.....
It just sounds like your marriage needs a "tune up".......(this is not uncommon.....so you are not alone!)
Go roam around the websites I'll list below....I think you might find some resources there that you might find useful.....
....And I am proud of you for asking the question!! A lot of people nowadays would just throw their vows out the window....KnoWhatImean???
2006-12-06 01:19:28 · answer #5 · answered by Chief Paduke 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear,
In the first place it is good to seek advise.You are really honest.You better keep it up.You have to be loyal to your hasband in your life.Try to forget thinking about this guy.
try to avoid any sort of unwanted proximity to this guy when he comes to your home.As much as possible limit the relationship.If you are christian please read the Holly Bible.Pray a lot.God has given you a good hasband.To opt out from this mean you are committing adultary.
Let the Almighty God helps you.
2006-12-06 02:35:15 · answer #6 · answered by girum_tadesse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are doing the right thing by avoiding them. yes, that is how married people keep from cheating. they know when to stop. you are stopping something from going further. you have to set up boundaries for yourself. this is one of them.
2006-12-06 01:08:38 · answer #7 · answered by christy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
dont feel bad..it happens.you need to confront the flirtee and tell him the temptation is too strong and u guys need 2 stop. I mean u got ur husband...do u wanna lose that? thats wat u r risking if u go 2 deep
2006-12-06 01:09:07 · answer #8 · answered by Dunkin' on yo head 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask hubby if you can have your sandwich you be filler.
2006-12-06 01:47:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋