My bestfriend, lover, and total love of my life for 8 years, does not want me anymore. He wont talk to me or give me the time of day and the reason it all happened is that I wanted some communication becuz he has 2 jobs and one of them ends this week, but all I wanted was some attention you know maybe on the weekend, a phone during lunch hour ya know. Well I got a job to to help out and I just started one day, but I saw him this moring and asked if he would just talk to me and he said "IM DONE". Now I really can not fuctuin, I asked him how Im I suppose to do this with out him and he told me to stop thinking about him and think about our daugther. And it breaks my heart I brought her into this world with him together, and we are in the same house and I really cant fuction, all I do is cry my eyes are swollen shut and my daughter see everything, Im really trying but I cant pull it together. I even begged and he told me to go away and shut up. Its hurts so Bad. Help me please!!!!!
2006-12-05 16:00:47 · 8 answers · asked by dummy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
While the situation wasn't exactly the same, i've been in similar. While it really hurts and it sucks, you also can't afford to sulk in this too long. You really need to get yourself together and step up to the plate that you didn't want to go to.
Feel the pain and do it anyway.
They say however that it takes a person half the length of the relationship to get over it. So sorry to say could be up to 4 years. But the one I feel sorry for the most is your daughter, her life is now going to suck regardless of how well you are able to provide for her cuz she now does not have both parents living with her. If there is any chance to talk some sense into him, now is the time to do it.
2006-12-05 16:08:30 · answer #1 · answered by Say it like it is 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been completely dependant on him for all of your "happiness". The problem is that these feelings of best friend, were all one sided. Best friends talk, share things, almost everything. They both mutually enjoy each others company. I suggest you seek out a professional (preferably christian) counsler. My thoughts are that you really DO need to think about your little girl. While your pain may be excruciating; she is still in need of you and your complete love, attention and the joy you can bring to her life. As a mother, our feelings and desires get put on the back burner. We are adults; we can handle it (if we make our mind up). Children have not asked to be in the situation they are in, and cannot change it. We therefore have to make it the best for them. Do not cut down her father; it would probably be best if you didn't even discuss him with her; unless it is briefly positive, in answer to any questions she may have. Do not make her a pawn. The best thing my mother did for me when my father abandoned us, was to never say a bad word about him in front of me (and I found out for myself she had plenty of reason to). To this day she does not do that. I love her and respect her even more for that. She completely focused on us and making our life as happy as she could. We don't always get what we want, or to choose the "end" to every chapter in our book of life, but we can choose how we respond and what we do next. I will be praying for you. God Bless you and your little girl. BTW I will also be praying for your husband and your marriage. God is a miracle worker.
2006-12-06 00:16:27 · answer #2 · answered by sweetness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sound like he was under a lot of work pressure and your neediness was stressing him out. Give him time to relax and sort things out. Do NOT bother him. He may come around eventually. Men sometimes need a little space to retreat into their "caves" and calm down. If you continue to cry and act out of control in front of him you will drive him further away. Act strong and resilient.....that is the way to get what you want.
2006-12-06 00:16:49 · answer #3 · answered by xovenusxo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It took me approximately a year to totally get over my ex. But I did it, and so can you. Now is the time where you really have to rely on anyone around you for support, and start moving on, not only for yourself, but for the sake of your daughter. Show her you are a strong woman who will always love her daddy but can live without him.
I'm sorry, I know how hard it is. Time will help, it really will. I wish I could offer more help, I truly do.
2006-12-06 00:10:18 · answer #4 · answered by asleep 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See a therpist who specializes in relationships and breakups of marriages. Rewad Creative Divoirce....read Rebuilding WhenYOur Relatioship Ends.
2006-12-06 00:51:52 · answer #5 · answered by Legandivori 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hate to tell you, but he is with someone else, and if u refuse to accept it, you won't get over it. as u have expectations of him that he isn't going to meet. don't beg him or let him see you cry, only demeans u, and hurts your own self worth. focus on your child, i know it does hurt, and there is no set time for a broken heart to heal. depends on how u handle what has happened, if he doesn't love or want u there is nothing you can do, as he seems not to value you at all. try not asking for any attention from him, try just distancing yourself, but it does sound as if he is seeing someone else, my heart goes out to you, but u will have to accept it for what it is. he is mad and angry at you for something he feels u did, amigined or real. u need to get him to talk about what is going on if he will, but don't pressure him. to win his love back, he must see you as a different person, someone with self confidence, someone with high self worth. he feels trapped, maybe he is overworked, or maybe he does have someone else, and he is confused and trying to distance himself from u. good luck. u need to change his concept of how he sees and views you.
2006-12-06 00:16:06 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TAKE YOUR LITTLE GIRL AND GO, YOU DON'T NEED HIM.
TAKE CARE OF YOUR DAUGHTER AND YOURSELF, DO YOU HAVE FAMILY AND FRIENDS NEAR BY? (BEST OF LUCK TO YOU)
YOU DON'T WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE THAT BRINGS YOU DOWN LIKE THAT.
2006-12-06 02:22:35 · answer #7 · answered by ~*~ISABELLA~*~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont beg.... leave him alone... he will come to his sences. Just be strong for your daughter.
2006-12-06 00:19:36 · answer #8 · answered by Morena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋