I am in my fiftys so not a child. I am educated, well rounded yet apparently either a fool and do not realize it or just niave. Please help. Was in relationship for over 5 years. We were engaged then he broke it off over accusations toward me that were untrue. Then he told me how deeply he loved me, then off again for another ridiculous reason. Then I stop talking to him and within 2 weeks he calls and says remember me. He was having major family problems with grown daughter and grandchildren. Called me as a friend. I assisted him, he told me how deeply he appreciated it and again how he loved me. Then out of no where when I called telling him my grandchildren was born he said why would he care I had not called in 3 days. I was floored! Then he called a few days later at 5 in the morning, I said what are you calling now for I am sleeping. The next thing a text message calling me a liarer and the word bye. Men especially please I do not understand. Any sincere answer? Distraught!
2006-12-05 15:43:56 · 19 answers · asked by chattylady47150 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Okay, sincere answer.
I have been married 21 years. Your on again off again boyfriend is an asshole. Move on. Clearly he is a head case. Who behaves like that? If he is getting hardening of the arteries or whatever, do you want to be stuck with this? It is apparent now how he is going to behave. Even if it is from stress, no difference.
2006-12-05 15:49:48 · answer #1 · answered by Just trying to help 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Stay away. People of all ages have "friends" like this but they aren't really friends. A few years ago, I went through an excersise where I just stopped calling and stopped accepting calls from people that only called me when they had problems. I got tired of being the shoulder to cry on and when I needed one, there was no one around.
While my life has less people in it now, the people that remained are far better friends than any of those others could have been combined.
Don't talk to him anymore. Don't let yourself be taken advantage of emotionally
2006-12-05 15:51:33 · answer #2 · answered by Say it like it is 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mother trained me from the beginning to remember and apply the Three Word Rule: Boys are Dumb. It doesn't matter how old they are, boys are dumb.
That aside, it seems like you have a head case on your hands. I don't know if he's going through something exceptionally difficult, or if he has always been somewhat crazy and you either didn't notice it, or his craziness has never been directed towards you before. I'm not sure there's anything in his behavior that is understandable. The best advice I have is to accept that the only actions you can truly know the motivations to are your own. His extra fickle reactions to you are not your fault or problem, although it is unrealistic to say "ignore him." You've invested too much to be capable of ignoring him. I get some satisfaction from knowing that there is nothing I can do but choose my own reactions to others' behavior.
2006-12-05 15:58:34 · answer #3 · answered by toolate 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
At 50 something you don't need this. My advice would be to get rid of him, find someone who you can be happy with. You said your children are grown, so now is time for you to enjoy life. Even at our age, and I say our age because I'm older then you, in my early 60's, there are nice men out there. I started over 7 yrs ago after nearly 40 yrs of marriage, and have never been happier. So do yourself a favor and lose this guy.
hope you find what you're looking for but most of all think of yourself first, you deserve it.
2006-12-05 15:53:25 · answer #4 · answered by bobbie v 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-16 12:01:55 · answer #5 · answered by stever 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does this guy drink a lot? Sounds to me that he is either bipolar or hitting the bottle big time. Do you think that because you are no longer a teenager you need to settle for someone like him? You don't. I am 47 and just met the love of my life. Lose that jerk and find someone a bit more stable.
2006-12-05 16:23:49 · answer #6 · answered by xovenusxo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW! Is it possible that he might have some sort of mental problem? Do you know anything about his mental health? Is there anyone who knows him that you could ask? The only other thing I can think is, that he is just being a crappy, fair weather friend. I am sorry I can not help more. Take care, and best of luck!
2006-12-05 15:50:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you are going through this. It must be painful. It sounds to me like he has some sort of mental illness. I'm not trying to be sarcastic. I'm being sincere. Don't put any of the blame on yourself or start to feel like you've done something wrong. Mental illnesses can arise at any time in life. I'll pray for his and your well being. God bless.
2006-12-05 15:48:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
This man is mentally unstable. Count your blessings that you did not actually marry. I am sorry you have had to experience this trauma, but the best thing for you to do now is to never have contact with him again. Think of it as removing cancer from your body.
2006-12-05 16:12:34 · answer #9 · answered by Poppet 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please get out of this relationship! He is trouble. Is it possible he is developing a dementia? He sounds seriously mentally unstable! Does he suffer from paranoia? You are at an age when you should not waste your time with such men. There are better ones out there. I wish you well.
2006-12-05 15:53:27 · answer #10 · answered by jom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋