Do you think what he said was appropriate?

Question

I called a "friend" and he didn't answer. It was important and regarding my mother and her health. I called him again and again and then I left a message cursing at him to answer the phone and I left another message again doing the same thing. Then finally he called me back but he had an attitude and was yelling. I told him about my mother and he said "what does that have to do with me"? And then he said, "I mean what happened." Later he called and said that he didn't mean it like that but it was because he didn't like the way I left him the messages. What do you think?

Answer 1

I think you were stressed out about your mother and her health and took it out on your friend because he wasn't there the exact minute you needed him. He has a life as well and I am sure he doesn't sit around just waiting for your call. I would be upset as well with the messages you left but after finding out what was wrong I would forgive if you apologized for your actions.

Answer 2

The problem began when you demanded he take your call and inflamed the situation by "cursing" which is not only disrespectful, but just plain hateful. What makes you think he owes you any response at all after that?. Once was not enough for you? You had to go at him again? I was shocked he called you at all. Don't you think that maybe he just got home or was busy with something else?. Can you imagine how a person would be feeling after you lambasted him because you need something from him? Whatever happened to a low keyed, "Wow, I am so sorry I missed you, but I am having some issues and was wondering if you could share a little support or insight with me as I am very upset. It regards my Mom." A real friend is not abusive and that is what you appeared to be by your actions. By the way, I always wondered why people feel they need to beat up someone with a call back message! Once is enough!

Answer 3

Well if your "friend" couldn't get to the phone, that's not your "friend's" fault. Your "friend" might have not been home. We all have a life and we all have our own problems. If the "friend" was at work, or at the store or at their own family's house --- whatever the case may be --- is not a good reason to get mad and curse them. I'm sorry to hear about your mother - but just because the "friend" was not "at your disposal" -- wasn't right to leave those messages. That is why your "friend" lashed back at you. You lashed first. It's understandable that you may be going through a difficult time with your mom's health and all, but next time - go a little easier in case you "friend" doesn't hurry up and answer the phone - or feel like he/she can't go nowhere because of the chance of you calling. Come on now. What if you had things to do or places you had to go. What if one of your "friends" called you and you weren't there? What if they left harsh messages on your phone cursing you out? How would you feel??? You'd be upset too. It's called: "putting the shoe on the other foot." You asked.............

Answer 4

if you curse some one out then your not being nice about it your being rude and hes not going to call you back if you do that you will just make him angry you leave a massage like that then he mite say some thing like that a person can only take so much you know but in a way he was wrong to say something like that your friend should have said whats wrong instead of saying that then could have told you or ask you why did you curse me out on my answer machine and you could have told him that you where worried or scared about your mom but you could have been a little nicer thats all

Answer 5

Well usually when you curse some people might think its offending.Since he is your friend he probably felt mistreated.I know its hard because its a really hard issue for you.Just think if your friend did that to you.Would you still be in a good mood?Even though its hard to take things in just remember he is your friend.If you are really close to him,probably he was hurt.I know what he said was painful to you.Try asking him why he said it.Your friends and you share things.I don't disagree with you and I do.Your right about what he said because friends help each other out.You are wrong because when you cursed at him because he wouldn't pick up his phone.There could be many reasons.Not because he doesn't want to,but many reasons.

Answer 6

Well it really depends on the messages you left on the machine and your past with this person. But I think he has given you the reason why he went off at him. I would say from what you have said, it is the way you left the messages on the answering machine.

Answer 7

He may have been in a situation where he couldn't answer his phone. I understand that you were stressed and may have wanted to talk to him really badly, but the people you call can't always answer the phone. You leaving a message swearing at him probably made him angry, and he may have wanted to make you angry in return. If he called you back and explained himself, I'm sure he's sorry and really does care, and you should probably apologize for getting angry at him.

Answer 8

Hes your friend and you really went crazy on his voice mail. Words hurt but he didnt mean it. Usually when you attack someone verbally they retaliate. I think you should take it as you guys are even and let it go. even though your up 1 :-) (2 voicemails) Besides you dont know what he was dealing with while not answering.

Answer 9

I don't think what either of you did was
appropriate.
You blew up cause you felt inadequate
in being able to handle your mothers problem.
He blew up, cause he couldn't handle your attitude.
Sounds like your both hot heads, and both need to
say your sorry and get on with it.

Answer 10

you were just stressed out and he problaly didnt apperiate you calling and yelling at him over the phone i would not like it if someone did thtat to me
next time waitt till you calm before call