does anyone find that having kids and being married affect the time you spend with your partner behind closed doors? I was wondering how often married people who have kids find time for each other in the bedroom. Especially when one or both parents may have strenous jobs such as accountants or doctors or lawyer.
2006-12-05 15:10:33 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Small as in too young for school? Your best bet is during nap-time or after they're tucked in for the night.
good luck.
2006-12-05 15:17:48 · answer #1 · answered by Kalia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel. But before I started my own family I looked at my friends that already had kids. I looked at their lives.
Let me tell you, one of the biggest mistakes I saw that they were making was that they were not making their kids go to bed at a reasonable time. Geez... their kids would be up until 10 or 11 pm at night. That is absolutely ridiculous. My kids started off going to bed at 6 pm... and then 7:30 now... its lights out at 8 pm whether you want to go to sleep or not. I tell my little ones that YOU WILL lay down in the bed with the lights off in your bedroom. They are tired... they know they are... they eventually fall asleep. I have so much free time in the evenings to read... to go online and answer your questions... and to chat on the phone. I have a very busy busy job... I leave my work at home though.
You can find time. You have to just train your crumbsnatchers to go to bed at a certain time. Also, when they are taking naps... that's a good time also.
Having a busy job is totally separate from the kids affecting the time you spend with your partner. Either the kids are affecting the time you spend with your parnter or the job is affecting time you spend with your partner. Or both. I gave you advice for the latter.
Hope this helps!
2006-12-05 23:22:19 · answer #2 · answered by Ocean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband isn't a doctor or a lawyer but his job keeps him away from home 8 am - 10 pm 6 days a week and is commision based (believe me that part is VERY strenous) Its hard but we try to make time for us together. We have sex on average around 4 times a week even with his schedual. Maybe not as good as "newlyweds but for someone with 2 kids and a crazy schedual I think its pretty good.
2006-12-05 23:20:50 · answer #3 · answered by Luv_My_Baby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put your kids on a strict bedtime and stick to it. My six year old goes to bed EVERY night at 8pm. I think that she needs the rest and I need that time for myself. It gives me and my significant other time to unwind for the day and time together. We are both very busy people and it really does help that she is in the bed by 8. Also make time to get away together alone at least once a month. Find a sitter and go to the movies or dinner and talk to one another. These things are important to keep the relationship going.
2006-12-06 01:45:00 · answer #4 · answered by bamabrat1140 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband works A LOT and is only home 3 days a week and doesn't get off of work those 3 nights tell a little after 10 pm. So that means that if I put my 2 boys to bed early they would never get to spend any time with there daddy at all, so they get to stay up late those nights. Plus working all those hours my husband comes home VERY VERY TIRED. So we put our alarm clock to wake us up about an hour before my husband is suppose to get up to go to work and we make love then. It works for us and we're normally making love before the alarm goes off now.
Were there's a will there a way!! Make it work, Good Luck!
2006-12-05 23:44:30 · answer #5 · answered by Danielle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make the time...My husband and I make it a routine to go out just him and I once a week. Get a babysitter and go!!! Just because you have kids doesnt mean the romance or passion has to fade...you allow it to fade. I know you get tired and just want peace but to get dressed up and to maybe put something sexy on underneath gets you motivated. He will notice this. I've always heard a man wants to marry a lady but wants a women for the bedroom. You can be both.
2006-12-05 23:20:43 · answer #6 · answered by Ivory_Flame 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can only answer from the standpoint of watching my friends who have small children.
My husband and I made the decision not to have children; our friends who have them are constantly exhausted. The only time they find time to be alone (and not just for sex, but just to talk and regroup) is when the grandparents take the kids, they get a babysitter or have some form of care for the kids. This is especially true of our friends who are actively involved in their children's activities.
Most of our friends, while they love their children, are counting down the days until they're out of the house.
2006-12-05 23:19:55 · answer #7 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Married and had five Daughters. Make the time for love, and take the time for love. We made it a common thing about going out once a week, by ourselves, and talking about our lives. We always had a standard bedtime for the kids and never wavered from it. Like a friend told me to do " smear butter on your outer bedroom doorknob before you retire for the night"!!
2006-12-05 23:31:03 · answer #8 · answered by supressdesires 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kids are GREAT.you need alone time with your partner,,,find a sitter,go out to eat,,,get a hotel room for the night.
pick a week-end for the whole family and have fun,next week-end get a sitter and the parents go away.everything is 100% give and take.kids are involved 110% give
2006-12-05 23:21:36 · answer #9 · answered by hl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to make time hun. Put kids to bed a little earlier and make time. I have kids and I make them go ot bed earlir so I can make time for me and husband.
2006-12-05 23:15:11 · answer #10 · answered by Babie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋