HIS house for 3 years, we have since had a child...th eproblem is, he makes me feel like this isnt my home, but HIS castle since he had it before me by 2 years.
He will always say "get out of my house and leave the kid" if we fight and make me feel like a worthless piece of shitt.
But when he is in a good mood, he says its our house...I dont feel welcome here (even after 3 years) and I dont know what to say.
2006-12-05 14:57:56 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We live in Alberta Canada.
2006-12-05 15:23:42 · update #1
I don't know your whole situation, but let me tell you a little story...
I was with my ex for almost 16 years, and we never married. When I finally DID get the guts to leave, I took my daughter and my car with me.
He called the police and reported my car stolen...he tried to report me for kidnapping, but I AM her mother, so that wouldn't stick.
If you are suffering something similar now, and it's only been 3 years, don't waste half your life like I did second guessing yourself, GET OUT NOW...trust me, it's not as hard as you might think.
I wish I had the hindsight to know then what I know now, and I wouldn't have wasted 13 years with someone who didn't know how to love himself, let alone me and two children.
You're better than that. Just remember that always. It's up to you, but if you want to contact me outside of this forum, emeraldseye@yahoo.com and I can help you find the information yyou need to escape the abuse, and trust me, it IS abuse.
-Em
2006-12-05 15:06:47 · answer #1 · answered by emeraldseye 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey he's an abuser...maybe not physically but he makes you feel bad and unwelcome. He is very territorial about his home and his child and if you go to leave I bet he will be the same to you. There is no GOOD relationship going on there...When he's at work I would pack my things, take my child and leave....If you leave the child behind he will only make he/she feel bad about themselves eventually. Get some of YOUR friends to help you move so you can do it in one day....Don't tell anyone that will possibly go to him.....Once you are out, contact a lawyer, (can use legal aide) and find out if you need to get a divorce, (depends on where you live), and file for custody of your child....I know this is harsh advice, but down deep you know I'm right about him...been there, done that.......He is not going to change and sounds like this has happened more than one time...and you said it, "you don't feel welcome there"....Baby, get a hold of your heart, because that is what you are thinking with......take my advice, but plan well, because you will need a place to live, a new daycare or school transfer so he can't steel child away..... Best of luck
2006-12-05 23:10:20 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on the state, you have what is a common law marriage, and certain rights as if married by all rights. You may file for divorce, seek half of what was accumulated during the relationship, and also child support, or alimony (depending on the state). Seek a qualified attorney, get out of the relationship now, or suffer the verbal abuse for the remainder of your life. If the state does not acknowledge communal relationships, or common law, then suck it up, and convince him to marry you legally, and then dump his worthless butt...
2006-12-05 23:05:03 · answer #3 · answered by R. W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
=Take the child and leave him and get childsupport... and you are not considered common law anything until at least seven years of living together.
The reason he has not left you is because he doesn't want custudy of the child and he doesn't want to pay childsupport..
If you leave and he wants you to come back tell him that he has to sale (HIS HOUSE) you two get married and buy another home TOGETHER but he has to marry you and sale the house before you even consider being with him again.
If you are not married to him you have no rights at all to anything that has only his name on it.
2006-12-05 23:10:43 · answer #4 · answered by Autumns Destany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you, for him to say such hateful things....its not right.
Build that self esteem.....feel good about yourself...
You need to decide....is this how you want to be treated?
Do you want your child to be subjected to hearing him belittle you?Starting a patten.......
I think I would decide where I want to be...They say> Home is where the Heart is.......
Best wishes
2006-12-05 23:08:25 · answer #5 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look around for another house to buy ,then talk to him about moving.just suggest you would like to buy a home together and start fresh.all 3 of you.
2006-12-05 23:08:38 · answer #6 · answered by hl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋