It seems like there is something about me that makes it intrinsicly and incredibly difficult to make friends and get dates. (every attempt to get a date has blown up in my face). i cannot even figure out what it is, so how am i supposed to fight it? any advice?
my desires conflict with my essence, it feels. i cannot find my base. i do not know what to do. help?
2006-12-05 14:37:08 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
That's a hard one because you're not entirely sure what's going on. You may want to try to find a counselor either through school or at a non-profit agency if you're no longer in school. Counselors can do role plays to improve people's social skills. I think being genuinely interested in people and trying to be a great listener also would help anyone in getting more friends and dates. There's a good book by a psychiatrist named David Burns called Intimate Connections that uses cognitive behavioural theories to help people with their social skills. I also enjoyed How to Win Friends and Influence People which another person recommended as well. All the best of luck to you!
2006-12-05 15:32:10 · answer #1 · answered by cotopaximary 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you can be loved by others, you must 1st learn to love yourself, be happy with yourself and be content by yourself. If a female senses any kind of neediness in you she will automatically be turned off. The only way to get a female is to show her that you do not need!!! her. You have to have a balance though, while no, you do not want to need her, you need to show the best aspects about yourself and show her that she may need you. Act as if though you do not care if she dates you or not, but when she's in her time of need give her a helping hand, in other words, be her friend, but let her make the 1st move.
2006-12-05 14:46:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you're trying too hard or looking for faults in that other person. Just be yourself. God has someone for everyone - I am a strong believer in fate. but then -- what desires are you talking about ... maybe your expectations scare people off. chill
2006-12-05 14:41:10 · answer #3 · answered by spider 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read: "How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie.
2006-12-05 14:56:46 · answer #4 · answered by cuddycab 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋