She is to skinny. She is only 75 lbs. and 5''6. I caught her vomitting up her food, and I don't want to tell her to stop,because it might hurt her feelings, but I'm afraid she is ging to die! Help?
2006-12-05 14:26:19 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
tell your parents, a teacher, a counsellor at school, or another trusted adult.
2006-12-05 14:27:47 · answer #1 · answered by a heart so big 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is something called, "Tough Love." I understand you don't want her to be mad, but she will be. This is where the tough part happens. You are her friend, you have to convince her that this is not okay but emphasize that you care for her well being. 75 lbs is way too skinny for just about anyone. In terms of hurt feelings, don't worry too much, just ask her if she's doing this. With all honesty she should answer, hug her and tell her that you'll be there as a friend, but she has to stop. This, in the long run will hurt her. I hope this helps.
2006-12-05 22:38:28 · answer #2 · answered by matthaumschild 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I faced the same thing once, and it was incredibly difficult. By telling her you really risk the friendship. Right now, "controlling" her weight is very important to her, and by confronting her you are threatening that. She may become angry with you, not necessarily to your face, but by cutting off the friendship. I chose to talk to my friend about it, I told her how much I loved her, how special she was, how I was there if she wanted to talk, how worried I was etc. etc. etc. She stopped talking to me about a week and half later because she couldn't deny what my worried looks were about. She got help a few months later... a year later we finally became friends again. Don't worry about hurting her feelings, worry about trying to help her. She needs to know that other people care, are concerned, and that what she's doing is not okay. I hope you have a friend to help you through this, because it is incredibly hard. You can't force her to recover, you have to let her make that choice herself in the end, even if she does get help. Sitting back and hoping for her to make the right choice is frightening. Does she have family nearby? Does she see them often? They too can be of great influence if they know and talk to her. Good luck....
2006-12-05 22:44:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
At this point you can't worry about hurting her feelings. She needs help. If she is under 18, you need to tell her parents. If she is over 18, get an intervention together. You should be very concerned! Do whatever you have to before she does die, that's a dangerously low weight.
2006-12-05 22:29:03 · answer #4 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is way beyond hurting your friends feelings my dear. I find it hard to believe that if she is that skinny and that tall that no one else has noticed her problem such as her parents someone at school or her doctor. I think you should speak to a counsler at your school about it...she will be able to help you and your friend and it's very possible your friend would never even know you were the one who told the counsler...her parents need to know she needs serious professional help it's not about making her mad she will thank you later in life I promise you that.
2006-12-05 22:30:57 · answer #5 · answered by thereis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to tell her that she needs to eat and tell her that u don't want to offend her but it is true she might get hurt and might even die it is hard to say do her parents know well your pobaly being a good friend and not telling ur friend but u have to tell her she might not understand there and there but she will get the idea and if ur not friends just beacuase you tried to help her then that is jacked up.
2006-12-05 22:42:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is one of those situations where you swallow your pride or friendship golden rule and go and tell. A counselor, her parents, any adult who is capable of helping. This is about loving your friend and quite possibly saving her life. She may be mad or hurt at first. But she is ill and is not thinking clearly.
Love her and respect her and tell somebody who can help today or tomorrow! Blessings and good luck.
P.s. remember to stand by her side while she goes through treatment, and try to teach her to be kind to herself through your own kindness and love. We as women can be so hard on ourselves.
2006-12-05 22:30:51 · answer #7 · answered by yowhatsup2day 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is such a hard situation to be in but think...You say something and she gets upset with you and eventually gets over it and you potentially save her life OR Don't say anything and there is a possibility she could die...Then how would you feel had you never opened your mouth...It's a tough call but I would Say Something...This is SERIOUS
2006-12-05 22:29:31 · answer #8 · answered by eaglesprincess 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow. you know i had this same problem but with my sister, and i told my mom every time i saw her throw up because we had to get it under control. i think youll feel worse if you let her get sick than if you get her mad. if you cant talk to her, try talking to a school counselor if you go to school, or her parents. i know it can be a lot of stress, hoping never to see her vomit again, hoping that it will just STOP. but it doesnt, you need to get the poor girl help
2006-12-05 22:32:55 · answer #9 · answered by ♫ singin_gurl1200 ♫ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your friend sounds like she has an eating disorder. She needs a serious intervention a.s.a.p. Talk to her and try to convince her she needs help in the worst way. if that does not work seek out another friend, counselor, teacher, whoever you think can and will help.
2006-12-05 22:30:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're going to have to tell someone. How old is she? If she's an adult, you might want to try an intervention (not sure I believe they work). If she's a minor, you might want to tell her family. Her feelings aren't as important as her life.
2006-12-05 22:28:52 · answer #11 · answered by Lori E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋