Abusive ex husband.What we should do???

Question

MY ex husband has drug problem.Now he is in State Prison.He will out from Prison in January 2006.We do have 2 kids 7&5.How i can keep away him from children? What i should do to keep my children and myself safe? Thanks.

Answer 1

You said ex husband so I'm assuming that u are divorced. It all depends on what ur divorce papers say. If u have split custody or visitation you have to go by what the papers say but at the same time u do not want to endanger yourself or your children. I know in my state u have to go to court to get papers changed and that takes time. My suggestion is to talk to local law enforcement or an attorney to see what you can do. What ever you do it needs to be done fast so that if he needs to be served papers he can while he is in prison and they know where he is. I lucked out and got full custody of my children. You also need to notify the school of who is able to pick up your children and who is not.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

I assume she does it because she feels she has to talk to him to survive or it is because she still loves him and is thinking about getting back together with him. Sometimes it is hard to get rid of someone like that, especially if they are abusive. My ex, he was like this, he went to jail so many times I've lost count, for stuff related to abusing me. He would not go away, no matter if the police had just been to the house, even if I had told everything on him for him to be caught out again and the police were now looking for him. He would hide out in the woods or where ever he could, and slip up when i least expected, not once, but several times over several days, at all hours of the day and night. Sometimes it would seem easier to just start talking to him again, at least at that time i knew where he would be at, and knew he would not be doing mean things to me, like trashing my car for example. People like that have a tendancy to get what they want, one way or another, and sometime, you have to deal with this any way you can. The best thing for her to do is stop having contact with him, although it will be hard to understand how to do this at first. As long as she continues to talk, it makes him believe there is still hope.

Answer 4

Get help fast! You can check with any human services department in the yellow pages and ask for referrals. Call your local city county building and ask for them to direct you to the right people. Your local hospital has a referral department as well as support groups, and so does your local library. For your sake and the kids, DO NOT DELAY! When you seek out the help you need, you will already have in place a system to help you to be strong and do the things you need to do to stay in a safe and healthy environment.

As a mother, you must first look out for their safety. If you want the best for him, then you have to take the steps to provide what you both need. If you don't start now, you open up yourself to all sorts of problems.

Find yourself a nice supportive church that can give you good spiritual advice and support, and open up your mind to the things that are ahead of you. If you love your husband and want him to get the help he needs when he gets out, associate yourself with other women that has been victorious over similar situations.

Call protective services and ask for advice. Remember, drugs and prison can lead to other things, but if he is wanting to change, offer him the help he needs. Don't try to do it by yourself, everyone needs someone. I'll keep you in my prayers as you take the steps to a better and productive, healthy lifestyle. Talk about things that you look forward to. Get yourself a vision and work towards it. YOU CAN DO IT! KEEP THE FAITH!

Answer 5

Get a protection order from your town court. He will be notified that he cannot come near you or the children. You don't have to let him see them untill he takes you to court to request visitation. Also, you don't have to grant visitation. You may have to allow him to see the children under supervised visitation. He will probably have to take drug test during parole and if he's dirty he will go right back to SP. You can also request that he get tested to see the children if he was convicted of a drug crime or there were drugs involved in the crime.

Answer 6

you should move... but you have to go to court to prove he's a danger to the children- that could pose the risk of him kowing where you are. watch the movie "enough" if you havent seen it b/c what she goes thru legally is useful insight. some mothers dont go the legal route at all and they live normal lives after relocation. he may request visitation. but i know its hard to get up and leave, especially in only a month's time. see what happens when he gets out. he may contact you all or he may not. just let the police know that you feel threatened. and make sure there is a record of all incidents from his release date forth so that if you do end up in court u have documentation of the logic in sensing a threat

Answer 7

Get a ,.ocal politician to intervene for you. Maybe orders of protecxtion, maybe further stay on amental hospital after prison can be ordered if in NY state. Otherwise, move and leave no forwarding address. Change last name.

Maybe more chrages can be brought against him .

Answer 8

You should get a lawyer as soon as possible.

Even though he shouldn't be around these children a judge may grant him visitation.

What you can do is try to make sure the visitation has restrictions and is supervised.

Answer 9

Are you divorced? Get a divorce, and a restraining order, and ask for full custoday of the children because you dont know his intentions anymore

Answer 10

Go see a lawyer and take it back to court and try and get soul custody. If you can get this then get a restraining order. Or maybe you can try and get him to have CPS supervised vistations.