How many of you bedshare?

Question

How many people out there are bedsharing?

As far as I have read there are no dangers to bedsharing if:

-You are not a really sound sleeper
-You have not consumed any alcohol
-it is recommended that the infant sleep between the mother and a barrier (dads sometimes dont have the same insticts)
and more...........

Personally I do share a bed, I started putting her in her crib for the first portion of the night before she ( 4 months) wakes up and for me it feels wrong.

For years society bottlefed without fully knowing all the benefits of breastmilk. (including psychological benefits for the child)
What if bedsharing is the most natural and psychologically important thing for young babies yet we have not discovered this,

any ideas?

thank you for the link

"Babies and their parents sleep together in close to all cultures around the world. For approximately 90% of the world’s population, cosleeping is just simply the “norm” and has been for thousands of years. "

This is for Collen O
Sleeping with your child will not make them "totally dependant on you"
The idea of not breastfeeding or sleeping with your child to make them more independant is ridicluous. I know breastfeeding is incomfortable in the beginning, alot of people feel that way but that is not where the bonding totally comes from. Have you considered the health benefits? I understand some people cant, my mother couldnt.
some people say "thier kids turned out fine" without bF but I had bacterial meningitis at 9 months and lucky to be alive without any side effects.

Here is the comments on the website given to me by a poster:
"It has also been discovered that children who coslept with their parents as babies have much higher self-esteem, confidence and emotional security than other children, along with less intimacy issues later on in life. Cosleeping babies tend to trust their parents more to address their needs, which has to do with self-esteem as children grow older. "

I didnt co-sleep or breastfeed and I turned out so independant that I have broken off relationships at the slightest problem because "I dont need anyone"
I will teach my child to be independant, reasonably independant, but it is ok to need people too.
Alot of times when parents have different views, the more relaxed parent judges the other so they dont look like a bad parent.
rest assured, my child wont "need the constant comfort/attenion of mommie"

Answer 1

I did everything the doctors told me too and lost my son to SIDS while he was in a crib. So, I bedshared with my 6 children after that. NEVER had an accident. I nursed them off and on all night and in fact 2 of my children never even seen a crib. The other 4 went to their crib anywhere from 6-12 months old. NONE of my children were spoiled and my children are extremely well-behaved and I contribute it all to bed sharing and the closeness they had/have with me.

Answer 2

i had several friends that have done bedsharing and they all havent had any problems with it. Most of them said that their kid showed signs that they wanted to sleep in their bed after a while of doing this. But i guess there are certain things to worry about and always here people rolling over and suffocating their kids, but i don't know if im confident that they did simply but not knowing what they were doing. I believe everyone has a conscious awareness of what they are doing and there is no excuse because i know they were aware of what was going on. I find nothing wrong with bedsharing or just placing them in their own crib from the start i guess that all depends on you and what you are comfortable with. But from experience and knowledge the child will give some signs of wanting to sleep alone and if this child doesnt give any signs then i will continue untill they get some where around 1 or so and then i believe they need to sleep by themselves because then i believe children get too attached and dont want to leave and this could be a problem. but good luck this is always just an experience of what works and what doesnt.

Answer 3

More and more people are saying there is nothing wrong with bed sharing. I understand what you are talking about though! My first son slept with me until he was 6 months old. At that time he just seemed ready to me. This time around my baby is already 10 months and still sleeping with me. Though it's not logical for some people .. I had my husband build another bed frame that is not more than an two inches off the ground. I put a mattress on that and even if he somehow manages to climb around and fall it won't be far. My husband sleeps in our regular bed right beside us. That is the only thing I would be cautious of .. at least in my case I know if my husband rolled over on the baby he would never know it. If you are breastfeeding this is sssooo much more convenient!! Also they have little cushions that the baby can sleep in between if that will make it easier. I say do what makes you and your little one most happy!

Answer 4

I love bed sharing! My son is 4 months old, and we put him in a cosleeper between us so there is no danger of rolling over on him.

It works great for us. He was a preemie, and at first, we had him in a bedside sleeper next to us. He HAD to eat around the clock for the first few weeks and were told not to let him sleep more than 4 hours until he was over 5.5 Lbs. Then, my mother in law got us the "Close & Secure Sleeper" by the First Years. What started out as a convenience has turned into one of the most wonderful experiences of my life. I love having my son in bed.

I don't see how, in any way, this can harm his social development. It's not like he's going to be 17 and wanting me to swaddle him and needing to sleep with us. I think it's the most natural thing. Where is the safest place in the world when you're a kid? With mommy & daddy!

I make sure everything is safe for him, and there is no danger of him getting caught up in blankets or rolling on his face, etc. He has no problem falling asleep on his own without us in the room, and the best thing is to wake up in the morning to a big, toothless baby grin right next to you. It works for us.

Answer 5

I let my daughter sleep with me as a single mom for the 1st 4 months. At that time I had stopped breastfeeding b/c she wasn't getting enough and had gone back to work. When she was sick I'd put her in bed with me to keep her comforted and help her sleep better. I never rolled onto her and always had a barrier between her and the wall. I slept on the outside of the bed. Now my daughter is almost 2 and when she wakes up she comes and gets me and is most offten carried back to her bed. I'm now pregnant with #2 and due in a few weeks. While I don't think that she'll be sleeping with us she will be in her bassinet right next to the bed. My husband is a mover and our bed just isn't big enough. I plan to try breastfeeding again and do wish there was room for her too. But I think that next best thing is having her right next to me so I can get to her and feed easily. I think my daughter benefited from sleeping with me. I do however think that by age 1 they should be sleeping alone, my little brother was 8 b/4 he stopped getting up and climbing in bed with my parents. My daughter understands that we are there if she needs us but also that she sleeps in her bed and we sleep in ours.

Answer 6

I am not against cosleeping, my first slept w/ me untill she was 20 months old and then I had to give her the boot. there wasn't enough room in the bed for my daughter me and my husband,my husband was away for a month and the first 3 days he was home I slept on the couch thats when I realized it was time. With my second I didn't cosleep at all, and personally I like it better. dont get me wrong I love snuggling w/ a baby in bed, but I think me and my husband have much more of a romantic relationship now that we have the bed to ourselves. I beleive it is a personal choice, but you should be well informed of all the potential risks of cosleeping.

Answer 7

Bedsharing is great IF it works for you. I did not sleep well at all, as I was a very light sleeper and worried at every little sound he made, and there wasn't enough room for all 3 of us, so in the crib the baby went. He did sleep in the bassinet for almost 2 months.

Answer 8

I think it's great - but I went in with the understanding that I knew it would harder to get my DD out later. But I'm nursing and it's so much easier to roll over and nurse then get up 2-3 times a night. And DD sleeps more soundly in the bed next to me then she did in the cosleeper that was attached to the bed. I didn't start til she was able to roll though/move the covers if needed - when she was itty bitty I didn't want to risk it.

Answer 9

I wonder the same question. I have started bed sharing with my first since she was 5 months old and my second i sometimes do if im not that tired. I feel that there is nothing wrong with it and my daughter has no problem sleeping in her own bed and she is now 3.

Answer 10

It was my choice NOT to breastfeed my daughter. If the mother is not comfortable with breastfeeding the baby will pick up on that feeling and not bond...it HAS been proven. If you want a child who will be totally dependent upon you for EVERYTHING the go ahead and make your's so. I prefered my daughter become an independent person capeable of dealing with the world on HER terms rather than cowering from it, she slept in her own crib from the time we brought her home from hospital. She has grown up to be independent, intelligent and responsible, reliable and resilient. I wanted her to grow up this way because there are NO guarantees that mommie and daddy are going to be around while the child grows up, and a child who is afraid of their own shadow and needs the constant comfort/attenion of mommie isn't going to fare very well in seperating when it is time to go to school/camp/college/life on their own.