So my husband has this friend before we were married. And she never took the time to get to know me. Everytime we were all supposed to hang out she would say, I don't want her to come. Because I guess she thought it would be weird since I didn't know her before.. But wouldn't you think she would want to get to know me since I'm his wife..? This is my first marriage and I'm still young so I'm not sure how to handle this situation. I want my husband to be happy and not lose a friend but I don't want this girl to be with him alone..
Oh yeah I forgot to write that she has said some nasty things about me to him so they did get in a fight about that recently.
THANKS FOR THE ADVICE!
2006-12-05 13:30:34 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thanks for all the advice.. I know being online isn't going to solve this problem I just wanted some outside advice! you ALL have been helpful.. and that's what I was saying to him WHO CARES if she isn't your friend anymore?
Thanks everyone! It is going to be tough choosing a best answer! But everyone was helpful!
2006-12-06 13:32:16 · update #1
first and fore most hang out with them as much as possible. remind her who you are , who is your husband. if she doesn't like it, oh well. how does she get off telling him she does not want you hanging with them. and why is he still kicking it with her. his loyalty seems a little off. as far as him losing a good "friend" who cares. she should respect you as his spouse no matter what . and you should tell him so. trust me, friends are a dime a dozen. he'll make more . preferably male. stop the madness now.
2006-12-05 13:55:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm not a lady but I can offer the advice that I've been on the other side of the coin. My ex-wife was the one who found she enjoyed the company of her boss so much she spent her free time with him while I worked my buns off paying for all the baby sitting expenses. Finally I said no more. Then she said no-more, to the marriage. I cleaned up in the divorce and she has never stopped regretting it even though all the kids are grown up. Was there cheating. She says no, but, as a very wise counselor once said, why create the appearance of a possible affair if you really love the one you are with. I would never even let a woman drive in the front seat with me in a car that wasn't my wife. If it barks like a dog, and acts like a dog, it's probably a dog!
2016-05-22 22:48:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This isn't cool at all. OK so it was his friend before the marriage but you are his wife. Why on earth would he want to spend time with her if she is making nasty comments about the woman that he has chosen to spend the rest of his life with. I would confront him about it.
2006-12-05 13:39:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there really room for a 3rd party in your marriage? I don't think you should have to concede to his seeing her - especially when you are not around. She needs to bow out gracefully and if she's not going to do that, then your husband should draw the line at not seeing her without you present. It's not going to do anything but bring heartache in your marriage. It appears to me that she has feelings for your husband and he either likes the attention or also has feelings for her.
2006-12-05 13:37:54 · answer #4 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay I was fine with him having this friend until the last sentence. She is hanging around to get her claws in your husband. Have him ditch the friend or spontaneously join your husband (go together) to meet up with his friend (don't tell her your coming). You have every right to meet her. Don't forget to be polite to her, and extra affectionate to your husband during the luncheon. Good luck.
And, I really think he should still ditch this friend even after you meet her.
2006-12-05 13:39:25 · answer #5 · answered by Poppet 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The real question is not would a woman let her husband hang with another woman...the question should be...why would he want to. It's very disrespectful of him to do so and disrespectful of you for her to exclude you. It's time to have a heart to heart discussion with him...he needs to decide whos important you or his friend....
2006-12-05 13:35:32 · answer #6 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I would want to get to know her as well. Something smells fishy if she does not want to be in your life as well. She may have more then just friendship in her head. I would definitely tell your husband that this bothers you and you want to get to know her and do things with the three of you.
2006-12-05 14:15:11 · answer #7 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is acting inappropriate for a married man. You do NOT bring in another woman into the relationship unless you have met her, trust her, hang out with the both of them. If he has a problem with that then he is not being faithful. You can have affairs of the heart, you know?? Please discuss your marriage with your husband ONLY. This is inappropriate for you to go on-line and express your concerns with the public instead of hashing it out with him.
2006-12-05 13:46:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm not married yet. But I do have to say that I wouldn't let my husband do it. Talk to your husband and tell him you feel uncomfortable with it. Tell him you want her and possibly her BF/husband to come too.
2006-12-05 13:37:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
make your husband end his friendship w/this woman. It sounds like she likes him & she hates you for being married to him. But, that's your husband. You guys are married now, he's got you, so why does he need her?
I would'nt want my husband having a woman friend. It's not right when your married.
2006-12-05 13:35:54 · answer #10 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋