My husband is in the Army and deploying for Afganistan in January. We have a 3 year old son and I am due to have our Daughter anyday. We have alawys been well intuned with each other, And have a very strong marriage. I feel like this is a time that we should be getting closer yet he just seems to be pulling away. Why now?
2006-12-05 13:25:39 · 15 answers · asked by I wanna dance naked in the rain! 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's afraid...he need's comfort, love and understanding...he's afraid of u leaving him while he is gone oversea's...if u say ur marriage is that strong show him by both of yall sitting down and looking at photo's of u being together...talk about what's on his mind..reassure him that u love him and nothing is going to happen to yall's marriage and congrat's on ur daughter...military brat myself..just be there for each other...USA USA USA
2006-12-05 13:35:18 · answer #1 · answered by Sean 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's probably pissed off & depressed about being deployed. He's dealing w/the fact that he will be pulled away from you & your kids very soon. So, don't give him a hard time. Be there for him, be positive, don't complain & just have fun the rest of the time before he leaves.
I know what your going through. I am also a wife of a man in the Military. My husband just came back from Iraq. The only thing you can do is just carry on w/your lives & be supportive. He can't do this alone. He needs your support! Don't give up. I know it's hard. Just stay strong always & be positive. Pray for your husband. Don't blame this deployment on him. Blame it on our stupid President George Bush who can't help end this war. Hope that our new President (whoever it will be) can bring peace, end this war & keep our husband's at home where they belong. Remember, that your duty as a wife of a soldier is to be 100% loving, positive & supportive. To help him feel better, let him know you are proud of him. He will keep that in his heart forever.
GOD BLESS YOU & YOUR FAMILY.
tell him good luck.
2006-12-05 14:09:17 · answer #2 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may just be a little overwhelmed with the responsibilities he has right now and really is not meaning to hurt your feelings.
There are other wives in the service who support eachother in these times of need. You may want some one on one advice from one of the older Service wives for the best advice in this matter. Being a service persons other half is part of Service life...and it's not at all easy..go for some advice.
2006-12-05 13:33:12 · answer #3 · answered by HDGranny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This has nothing to do with you, he is not pulling away. Think about it, a young child, one on the way, he is in the Army, he is going into War zone, leaving his wife and children == he has got a lot on his plate, and a lot to think about, so he is in his "man cave" trying to (like most men) deal with this on his own. The love is still there, he just needs to get comfortable with the idea of it all himself before letting you in, just wait. He will come around.
2006-12-05 14:00:44 · answer #4 · answered by lisads1973 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband started doing that before his deployment too and stayed that way during leave as well. It made things horrible for me because I really needed him. After he got home I confronted him on it (I hadn't too much before b/c I knew he was already unbelievably stressed) He said that he was having to try and put me and the kids out of his mind so that he could focus. That ticked me off initially but after a while I could see his point. You don't want your husband going into that type of situation worrying about home or really thinking about it too much because then his mind won't be where it needs to be. It really sucks for the spouses sometimes because we have to give so much support and they aren't always capable of doing the same for us.
Congrats on your baby girl (I'm so glad her dad can be here for her arrival!) And good luck with everything else!
2006-12-05 14:43:56 · answer #5 · answered by . 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to say from being in a military family myself, it is very hard! He is probably scared about leaving you and your two kids behind. Maybe try talking to him about how you are feeling and he might open up. I wish you the best of luck !
2006-12-05 13:33:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bascially it's is very common for guys to react that manner, man don't feel the same way thus woman feel. He's holding a very responsible position at work and at home perhaps he pre occuiped with his mind, i guess.. there's nothing much to worry about, your husband do love you and the kid, thats for sure...
2006-12-05 13:30:59 · answer #7 · answered by Suppi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was in Desert Storm in 1991, he is preparing himself for the deployment. i know this sounds weird but there are a long of uncertainties going on in his mind right know, one of which is that he may not come back, so in his own way he is preparing u for this. it is his way to ensure u can handle that. trust me b4 he leaves he will be back in tune with u, just be patient and what ever u do, don't pressure him on this or push to hard, it could have very negative consequences on ur marraige. just be there for him, silent if necessary, and it will pay off in the long run.
2006-12-05 13:31:02 · answer #8 · answered by keithy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, this is only speculation but... it may because he is "fearing" his departure. Sometimes a person tends to distance themself when they know they will not be able to be with the other person for whatever reasons. It may be because it will be easier to "not miss" you as much when he does not have that close bond as you guys have had before. I think sometimes our own minds seem to sabotage what our hearts would have told us to do differently. I truly believe if situations were different for him and he were to stay, he probably would be different. Its his own mind saving his heart from the aching he will feel for you and his family when he is gone. I know being pregnant tends to intensify every feeling but just try to be as supportive as you can for him and just know that your love for him and your family will overcome all. Good luck to you. And all of our thanks for his sacrifice to our country. god bless. take care
2006-12-05 13:41:46 · answer #9 · answered by Nikie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simpley put...he is pre-occupied....and suffering with the concept of war.... perhaps by distancing himself from you is the only way he knows how to deal with the emotional trauma he is going through... give him some space and time. Just reassure him that you love him and will be there for him when he returns....
2006-12-05 13:40:59 · answer #10 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋