Should I be able to stay involved in my sons education and receive copies of paperwork sent to his mother?

Question

I have a 5 year old son with is attending private school. I have joint legal custody of my son and try and stay active in my sons life. I have been denied information as to my sons education from his mother. Her position is get the information from the school. I believe his mother and I should work together for my son and I put him first always. He is used as a pawn by my ex and he has suffered greatly. He is already showing the signs of all this negativity and is in counceling. I would do anything to improve the relationship between my ex and I but she refuses to participate. She will only communicate through email and with any attempt at open and civil conversation she is combative. I have contacted my sons school. (catholic private school) and they refuse to make copies of my sons paperwork that is sent home to his mother. I dont understand why the school would take such a position but I believe they are influenced by my ex and her sister who works there. I am at a loss as what todo

Answer 1

You are entitled to copies of his information...if it was a public school. He is in a private school so it's their rules.

Answer 2

Your ex sounds very immature. She should be glad you are interested in your sons life much less education. You can't as far as I know make her send you anything, but the school on the other hand is different. Do you help pay the tuition? If so I'd remind them of that and if that doesn't work I'd talk to the Reverend Mother or the priest that oversees it, one thing about the catholic school system there's always someone higher and if I had to take it to the Arch Diocese that's what I'd do. Although I doubt you'll have to go outside that particular church. You might also talk to the priest about your lack of communication with her, tell him what you wrote here, I'm sure he would call her in and council her on her attitude and actions. Your son is supposed to come first not her anger towards you.
Good Luck

Answer 3

I recommend you go to the priest directly, and ask him to intervene for you. Explain it to him - that you're trying to stay involved in your son's education and his mother will not share paperwork or info with you. I bet when he learns the school's take on not copying papers for you too, especially when you have joint custody, he'll give the office a verbal lashing or two. After all, it's all for the welfare of your son, and you're trying to be a concerned Dad. I can't imagine a priest in the world thinking that's too much an inconvenience for office staffers to ignore. If the priest isn't possible (for whatever reason, be it unavailability or you being uncomfortable talking 1 on 1 with him), then I'd go directly to the Principles office and have a meeting with him/her and explain the same thing. If necessary, I'd take it all the way to the Archbishop if it got to that. You're doing a good thing, and for what it's worth...I think it's very courageous and it says a lot about your character as a father. I applaud you.

Answer 4

I am sorry to hear of your situation and cannot believe that the school would refuse your request; as schools are not at liberty to get involved in domestic matters. If you have your lawyer type up a letter to the school indicating the custody laws of your state I am sure the school will comply. You can also have her ordered by a court for mediation to correct her non-participation as she is not fulfilling her parental duties to comply in the best interest of the child.

Answer 5

i'm currently going through a divorce. i learned recently that that will all be decided by the courts. even though our child is only 2 months old, it is written in my divorce papers that her father cannot receive and school or medical records. look over yours if you still have them. or maybe you could call the family court. from what i know, if you are the parent, you have the right to see the school records unless the court says otherwise. get paperwork and take it up to the school

Answer 6

Take her back to court. If you have papers say joint custody, you might also try suing the school. A suit doesn't always mean money. You can sue for information, too.