do you believe that a person is born gay..??

Question

or something that you develop eventually in your life..if u believe that u are born with it what about all those "late in life lesbians" who after years of marriage and kids decide that they want to cross over.. opinions people

Answer 1

Being gay is something you have to choose. You're not born or destined that way.

Answer 2

I believe most gay people are born that way. I worked with a woman who had been married and had 4 children. Only after she had been divorced for a few years, did she admit to herself she was gay. She said she had always felt different, and only got married because it was expected of her and the thing to do.

I think some of the teenagers today actually may be gay, but it also causes them to get attention, so some say they are and actually may convince themselves they are just because it seems to be a different thing to do. In other words, they don't have much self-confidence, so this is the only way they know how to call attention to themselves.

But the truly gay people know from the time they are very young that they are "different", but may not know exactly how or why until they become old enough to really understand themselves.

Answer 3

I think that some people are born gay. (Anyone who thinks that people are not born gay but only choose it should read gay authors like David Sedaris or Dan Savage who talk about growing up gay.)

I don't know if I understand what your question about "late life lesbians" is. Gay people who only discover that they're gay later in life deal with it in different ways. Some of them accept it and start new relationships. Others try to ignore it and repress it (although they might act out on it in secret i.e.Ted Haggard)
In the case of women who are already married with families, things are more complicated. Obviously it's something that they would have to discuss with their husbands. In the case of Ted Haggard, you had a gay man who had a wife and several children all the time trying to pretend that he was not gay. So, we see that this is at least possible, that people can be married with kids and not admit to themselves that they are gay until later in life.

Answer 4

We're you born straight or was it a choice? So, sometime during High School, I'm guessing you decided it would be easier for you to be "straight?" I didn't think so, and neither do gay people.

I was born gay, I never had "a choice." This choice bs is just that, bs; at least for me. However, people sticking labels on other people should be careful. No two people are alike in anything, there will always be differences and so I say this:

"there are as many kinds of sexuality as there are adults in the world."

So, why try to stick them with labels?

Answer 5

I watched a very good friend struggle in high school to be straight and he just could not do it. Therefore, I believe a person is born gay. As for the later in life person, I had a boss who had that situation and back when he got married gays were not as out as they are today and society looked down on it a lot more than now. Therefore, they did "the right thing" and got married. However, after years of struggle they have to be true to themselves.

Answer 6

I think that most homosexuals realize their sexuality at a young age. That would mean, that they are born that way. I was born heterosexual so why would it be any different.

Late in life lesbians? Is that common? I can say that maybe it is because as you get older you have encountered many men that were *** holes. Another woman for companionship. I have not reached that point yet and I am definitely late in life. I don't see me ever doing that. I am just not attracted to women. Men do it for me.

Answer 7

I believe people are born gay (this question gets asked everyday, by the way).

It could be argued that women are trained to do what society wants and what the people they care about want before thinking about what they want. As they mature, they are finally able to value their own desires as much or more than those of the people around them. Look at all the women- who at 20, thought marriage was the ultimate goal- who in later life, divorce and never want to get married again because they have learned to really value their freedom to do what they want.

Answer 8

I believe--and most scientific research bears this out--that certain aspects of personality are inborn, such as predispositions toward creativity, mood, sexuality, and introversion/extroversion.

There are personality components that can be significantly influenced by one's environment. However, sexuality is probably not one of them. In other words, you can take a person who was born with a predisposition toward homosexuality, and put him among highly heterosexual people his whole life. Chances are overwhelmingly high that he'll end up feeling uncomfortable and out-of-place, as opposed to comfortably adopting a heterosexual lifestyle.

And perhaps that's one of the reasons the so-called 'late in life lesbians' are so prevalent. Societal restraints and norms are such that a person can be told to believe many things that aren't necessarily true for her, and it can take many years and many disappointments for her to realize she is different enough, before she raises the courage to take a stand against society and proclaim her personal truth.

Hopefully in the not-so-distant future we'll all be able to live our personal truths proudly from start to finish, and there will be no punishment for being born with whatever proclivities we happen to be born with.

PS: For people saying it's impossible to be born with preferences, and thus sexuality is a conscious choice, that's not the case. We're not talking about preferences at birth. We're talking about predispositions. There is a big difference between a conscious preference and a biological predispostion.

______________________

Answer 9

This question has been asked so many times it's ridiculous. Why would anyone choose to belong to a group that is vilified by many, discriminated against, and denied basic civil rights?
And to those who think it's a choice, when is this decision made?
And to the young lady who thinks people become gay at 20 or so, I've known that I was gay since puberty, which for me was 12.

Answer 10

Look up the Kinsey scale-pretty interesting. I know a lot of gay/straight people look down on me and mock bisexuals. But, I am really honestly attracted to both sexes. I can find something attractive in both. However, I find myself falling more heavily toward liking my own gender-females. I have known this since way back in elementary-like second grade or something. I always looked at girls more and thought they were pretty and looked at effeminate guys (or metrosexual, girly, whatever you want to call 'em...lol) and thought they were cute. I think I like them because they look like girls though and can be just as sensitive as girls are. But, to my luck a lot of those guys are gay. :'( Boo. I think a lot of gay people hide their sexuality until they are able to fully realize it. It just takes some people longer.

So, yes-I was born gay! It has taken me 20+years to come to terms with it. If I wasn't "born" that way, then I wouldn't have strived to not think about it. Because believe me, the strife that gay people have to endure is not the most pleasant. I mean, people are beat up and killed over stuff like this.

Answer 11

Yes after all i have researched YOU are born that way. I didnt use to think this way but now that i am older its a fact of life. Its in the genes no doubt in my opin.Those that were married were in denile. So why not do what you have in mind instead of destroying a marriage and do it right the first time.I have homosexual friends and now I dont see anything wrong with that. Just come outta the closet now ..