Should you always go with your gut feelings ?

Question

I have only been married for 5 months and think my new husband still has acvtive proflies on several dating services I have found 2 of them and think there are more. He said he had taken his profile off but I feel he is not telling the truth. The only way I found the ones I did was they were still being taken out of our bank acct. He will get on the computer after I go to bed and early in the morning before I get up for work, some times I will walk in the room and he will hurry and get off the computer. I feel that he is hiding other things from me when I ask him he about these things he tells me everything is ok, BUT MY GUT FEELINGS TELL ME OTHER WISE. I love this man and feel that the lord has brought us together and spend a lot of time in prayer about this.

Answer 1

In this case - yes, trust your feeling. Usually, I say use your brains too. It is called common sence.

Of course he'll tell you that he isn't doing it. I can't imagine him blatantly telling you that he is still having fun with those websites.
I think he might be addicted to those websites. He developed a habit of checking his messages. Like with all addictions, they are hard to break.

He really shouldn't be doing it. You might consider tellign him in a frindly way that you are aware of it, that you still love him, but you need him to stop. You need him to find the time and close all those accounts and clean it all up.

Answer 2

Very often your subconscious mind picks up on things that your conscious mind didn't notice or dismissed as unimportant. The way your husband quickly shut down the computer when you walked in the room, maybe the way he's on the computer at strange times, a detached and uninterested demeanor and maybe some things even too subtle to consider.

Alternatively, your subconscious may not have forgiven him for that initial indiscretion. Maybe you're reading into things that actually aren't that big of a deal, maybe your 'gut feeling' is just the lingering fear finding an outlet.

What you need to do is get some time alone, and meditate on how you feel. You've reached outward towards god on this matter, now its time to reach inward towards yourself. Search your feelings. Like you're able to know Jesus in your heart, you know deep down whether this gut instinct is simple paranoia or something more intuitive.

Answer 3

May i ask.. where u meet your hubby of 5 months in the first place? Just asked because, if you found him in the net's dating services too, then there's always this possibility that he's into other women too? But then again, he married you so, probably not anymore, or maybe?... I think aside from spending a lot on prayer, you need to spend a lot more time too, becoming intimate with your partner and communicating your heart to him.. and eventually you'd see why after 5 months he still seeks on companionship on the net. May not be merely an addiction, but there may be a deep seated purpose why he can't seem to let go. May be hard to accept, but the sooner you make things work out for you and your husband, the better. *Go girl, speak up!

Answer 4

You have been married only 5 months and it seems odd that he would get on the computer after you have gone to bed instead of wanting to be with you most evenings. The same argument applies about his activity on the computer before you get up! He hurries to get off the computer when you come into the room so he must not be using the computer for his employment unless his work situation is security sensitive. I believe your brain is informing your "gut". You do love him, but, you must be honest with yourself as to whether it was the Lord who brought you together and not simply your own attraction to him. (I do believe in God and am not being cynical. It is just so easy to attribute to God what we want for ourselves.) I do not believe it is necessary for you to give up on your young marriage, but, since you have these serious doubts the two of you must find some way to work through these issues and establish honest and clear communication. Peace be with you.

Answer 5

If you are spending time in prayer about this. Are you both attending church and are you actively involved? I get the feeling that other things have happened to make you feel the way you are feeling. If you truly feel that the Lord has put you together than does it really matter what anyone on here has to say. Trust in the Lord. You'll know what to do.

Answer 6

Yes your gut is in the right feeling. He is still looking for his thing.And is cheating on you on line.Just be leary of his behavior you may find somethings that you dont wont too. Damn only 5 months of marriage? You need to chunk his puter or if you know how to get into it you can find all the evidence you want or take it into a puter place. There you can find all you want to find out. But dont be shocked when you find out the end results. Good luck and am thinking about you.

Answer 7

EVERY THING DONE IN THE DARK WILL COME TO THE LIGHT................ that is a fact and if you are praying like you say you are tell the lord to let you find the truth about the situation trust in the lord to guide your path and some times what he shows us is not always what we want to see . and then make the decision on if you want to continue with your lives together always what we want is not what god has for us but we got it because of the thought of being with someone or being alone >>>>> pray and it will come to you ... may god bless you

Answer 8

Prayer is definitely good, but God also wants us to move in action. He is hiding the dating services from you. You saw the bills or payments yourself. Sit him down and tell him exactly what you wrote here. He has to confess; if he doesn't, then show him the proof. One way or the other, this has to come out and his actions have to stop. May God guide you through this hard time.

Answer 9

I am over 40 years of age and if experience has taught me anything is that your gut is about 90% correct. I also have been married for 13 years and truly believe that HONEST communication and compromise are key ingredients in a successful relationship

Answer 10

If it's there on the bank statement what more do you need as proof? Did he stop all accounts or just the ones he no longer uses? I think you found the answer you are looking for, just don't want to except it, perhaps.