I have been married for over 20 years now, I have never had a good relationship with my brother in law, he is an A/H in every aspect of the meaning, althou I have to admit the distant relationship I have now works perfectly, as long as I am not too close to him and his phony second wife, the first one took off with his best friend and I can't blame her, there is no problem and we can get along fine, its been years since I steped on his house, and now for the second year in the row my in laws have planned an entire holiday array of events at this guys house, I refuse to go, my wife is sore with me, but hey, everybody in her family knows the situation, yet instead of having the events in a neutral place they go for the second time with the same B/S, I do not care for me, because I am choosing not to go and I could care less what these people thinks, but I feel kind of sorry for my wife and daughthers, are these A/Hs doing this on purpose to hurt my wife and daughthers?? what should I do?
2006-12-05 12:03:35 · 8 answers · asked by Joe V 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If for the sake of your wife that you really have to go, perhaps you can plan some other events with your family when you are there. Limit the time spend at brother In law place.Find things to do with your wife and kids that will shorten your time spend with your brother in law. Go through what you plan to do with your wife and hope that she can support to it. Just make sure that you let your wife spend some time with her family but maximum time with you and your kids.
2006-12-05 12:21:42 · answer #1 · answered by Ho S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to be so direct, but you need an attitude adjustment. There are more people in your immediate family than just you; that is; your wife and daughters. I'm not saying that I am holier that thou, but I've gone to some stinkin' family affair with the other side of the family because that's what the majority of the family wanted to do. I know your kids will miss being with their cousins and you wife will want to be with her mom and dad. My suggestion is that, for the sake of love, suck it up and go and try to set aside all the hard feelings. Hang with someone you get along with and ignore the crap. best wishes.
2006-12-05 12:21:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have that bad of a relationship with the guy then you definetly shouldn't go. Just explain it to your wife (I'm sure that wouldn't be the first she'd heard of it) and tell her that you don't want to ruin everybody's time because you're in a bad mood.
Or you could do what I've done a few times....pretend you're sick and just can't drag yourself out of bed.
2006-12-05 12:11:45 · answer #3 · answered by . 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel sorry for your wife and kids too, just go, Its a couple of days of the year you have to deal with them. You look like the bigger ****** by not showing up with your family on holidays
2006-12-05 12:14:25 · answer #4 · answered by paula_5150 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go sir just go trust me you will keep the peace within your own family. go to these events and get plastered as soon as possible-just kidding tell your wife she owes you big time by agreeing to go.
but dont make the return favor unreasonable
2006-12-05 12:09:23 · answer #5 · answered by molly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is there any way u can swallow ur pride just for one day for ur daughters sake...after all it is the holidays...and if u went maybe u could avoid the A/H as much as possible...good luck and have a Merry Christmas.
2006-12-05 12:09:19 · answer #6 · answered by Michele 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
print this, give it to your wife. she will then see that you care, you just dont want to go.
2006-12-05 14:28:56 · answer #7 · answered by rhonda3826 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
JUST TELL HER DONT BE AFRAID
2006-12-05 12:06:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋