My husband and I have been married for going on 2 years, and we have a 2 1/2 month old daughter.He has 3 grown kids (19, 23, & 29) from his previous marriage.We have known each other through our work for almost 5 years, and have been together for almost 3 years.My husband called and asked his ex-wife to come to the hospital the day our daughter was born without asking me, and he tells her all the time that she can come over to our house anytime to see her.He and his ex talk most every day, sometimes 5 or 6 times a day. He often has longer conversations with her on the cell phone than he does with me.He is an over-the-road truck driver, and he is gone from home 4-6 weeks at a time.He often hangs up on me when she beeps in on his cell phone to talk to her.She cheated on him for half of their marriage.She is also re-married.His ex talks bad about me ALL the time, which makes his older kids resent me.They were divorced before I ever came into the picture.Where should the line be drawn?
2006-12-05 11:59:04 · 7 answers · asked by llntx 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think ex's are that for a reason, and once the kids are grown there is no reason for that much contact.
2006-12-05 12:02:31 · answer #1 · answered by blue2greeneyes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a classic example of marrying a divorcee with children. Obviously his kids resent his re-marrying, and probably it is not you. They didn't want either parent to re-marry.Many people do stay in touch frequently. Are you exaggerating their talking 5 or 6 times a day? How could they possibly discuss something that often? I have three kids, they are all adults with their own families. Even when we had joint custody when they were growing up, I doubt the ex and I talked more than once per week.
Have you tried talking to him about the way you feel? Again, how would you know he talks 5 or 6 times a day if he is on the road?
2006-12-05 20:06:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A long time ago. If hes more interested in his ex then what the hell did they get divorced for in the first place. His rightful place is with you now and he just may need a reminder of this. His ex is exactly that. It sounds like this guy is confused about his priorities. Time for some tough love. Give him the ultimate option; her or you but not both and choose now. No ifs, ands, or buts on this one. Be prepared to tell him adios if he makes the wrong decision and move on. You deserve better and probably could get better. You dont need or deserve her crap either, so if they want each other so bad then her have him and sue him for divorce and everything youre legally entitled to. Good luck
2006-12-05 20:10:16 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my GOD!!! Let me tell you this. I am married to my husband for 12 yrs, and we were both married before. I do not talk to my ex at all.....but .....I had to go through the ex wife thing. Here is my story, I hope it helps:
My husband has 2 kids from a previous (16 & 18). When we first got together, I got along with the kids great, and I even made friends with his ex! That was stupid!!! They both cheated on each other in their marriage, and divorce was inevitable. I came along years later, so she had no reason to not like me, I was nice to her....UNTIL...she decided she wanted the husband I had. She wanted him to be with her, because she thought he grew up and changed. He did, but only because he loves me, and cheating is not in our relationship. He is a great father, and a wonderful husband to me. His family said he was not like that with her. Anyways, when she was calling him on his cell, and at his job, I could not take it...so I gave him an ultimatum.....no more her!!!! She was not to call him anymore, if there was an issue with the kids, she could call the house and talk to him, and him and I would decide what actions we needed to take. This made her mad, and she turned the kids against me. Now, even at 16 & 18, they still try to call their dad for her. When they call, they will hand the phone to her.....this makes both of us mad, and he will hang up. He tries to explain to the kids to not get involved in her games, but they take her side. They are old enough to call and tell us when they have a problem, and we can take care of it, but that makes her madder.
With all of this, my advice to you is, stand your ground. Either he is going to be married to you or her....not both!! I definetly would not deal with him hanging up on you when she beeps in. I would kick him to the curb. He has to make a decision. You cannot make it for him. Tell him what bothers you, and tell him to decide....YOU DESERVE THAT MUCH!!
Good luck honey!!
2006-12-05 20:14:39 · answer #4 · answered by PROUD wife of a soldier in Iraq 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Omg thats awful, they really have no reason to talk since theyre kids are grown up, unless its to plan a wedding or a party other then that nope, well since hes a truck driver he could be stopping by her place!
2006-12-05 20:06:30 · answer #5 · answered by ~*Jenny*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The line should have been drawn BEFORE you were in the picture. Sit your man down and lay down the law. I would have suggested he could occasionally talk to his ex, but from what you are describing, he should steer CLEAR of her. Forgive me, but it seems as if he never got over her. SORRY you have to go through this. If he doesn't respond accordingly to your petition, then HON you are going to have to pack your bags and leave ASAP.
2006-12-05 20:04:30 · answer #6 · answered by pirulee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can see them remaining friends as long as the kids were involved..but now that the kids are grown he needs to put all of his concentration on u and ur daughter...maybe he still has feelings for his ex...maybe he never got closure with the marriage...whatever it is i wish u luck
2006-12-05 20:04:36 · answer #7 · answered by Michele 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋