do u walk away just like that? would u confront her, would u get revenge? what do u do when it hurts this bad?

Question

been married for about 10yrs, have 2 girls & always lived w/his parents back house, his choice, i would ask 2 move & he never wanted to. i started having problems w/my husband when his 20 yrs old brother came back. The brother wanted to go out & party everyday. My husband & i got married young we r only 29yrs so i could see he wnated to go out there & party too! but now i know it was more than that. His so called best friend was having an affair & guess who was the on consoling the wife my husband! I left after seen that he wasnt treating me rgt after 5mons of him partying and been w/this person i left. its been 3mont since i left & my husband only comes around when he is in need, need of what? Shes giving him the samething i give him. ifound about 4 wks ago thru an email account he had been using with her. when i confronted him he denied & 1/2 of me still believed him i love him so much & part of me doesnt want 2 let go why? i have begged him 2 work our marriage but no answr

Answer 1

TIME TO WALK AWAY- WHAT PART DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND........MOVE ON!!

Answer 2

10 years is a long time, yet so much there you could throw away if you leave. Think about everything before making any big desicions like that. If he wont take want you want and need to thought and will not compromise ever, I think you need to move on and be a srong indepenant single mom. Women do that everyday!!!! Starting off will be hard, your life's too short and you need things too. A good life and everything. You cant always live with his parents, in a spereate house in the same yard forever! I think if he doesnt change soon and work with everything you ask for....it may be time to walk away and find something soooo much better. A better life for you and your girls! I mean you have as it seems to be doing everything he wants. Good Luck and Hope this has helped you in some way.

Answer 3

well he needs to do some growing up and if you take him back, will it be the same? can you forgive and forget what has happened? can the marriage be strengthened? maybe you need some time-out from the marriage to sort out your own thinking. Maybe it's time to live life the way you want it for yourself and children. I am not encouraging you to leave him but whichever choice you make, have the courage to face the consequences of that choice that you have made. Staying and leaving are both equally hard decision to make. I have been through the same situation although i do not have kids. I gave him an ultimatum - make the marriage work or go our separate ways and after months of waiting, he did not have an answer for me but continue to see the other woman even though he told me that he still love me but he just doesn't know what to do. I packed my bags and moved out the next month...and never looked back.

Answer 4

Time for you to find someone else.

No I wouldn't confront her, no I wouldn't get revenge. I know you really really want to, but it'll just cause trouble down the road. You have 2 girls. You need to set an example. Girls learn most from mom.

He never wanted to leave the parental home, he wants to party, fool around. He just hasn't arrived into adulthood yet. You'll need to deal with him because he's the girls dad, for oh, another 8 years at least.

Be the bigger person. The hurt will fade in time. You'll get over it. And if you don't do anything foolish, sooner or later, when he does grow up, he'll probably regret his ways. ANd it'll be too late. You'll already have moved on.

Trust me. I know.

Answer 5

How much do u value u'r happiness? Take some time 2 focus on that, if you think hes worth being miserable over 4 the rest of u'r life then wait. If not move on, hes was obviously not ready for that kind of commitment.

Answer 6

Walk away. He doesn't want to work this out or he would have jumped at the oportunity. Don't get revenge, you must be a bigger person then that. Be someone that your daughters can be proud of. Of course its hard you've given him 10 years of your life. You can go to counciling alone to help you move one. Be strong you can do it. Don't stoop to his level that is what revenge would do.

Answer 7

sad to day girl, but u have to walk away...
i ask the same question...why do men get married if they arent finished dating yet...
he wants to party and everything else and eventually it will catch up to him...by then you need to have moved on with your life...without him....
i don't know if there are any good men left out there....but maybe one of these days you can find one...hes not it because if he was he would of chose your marriage over what he is doing..
be strong and file for divorce....get on with your life and be happy..
been there... done that....

Answer 8

i remember begging, but to no avail, she had more control over him than i did, he met her at work, yes it was painful, but the only way to get over the rejection and the pain was to file for divorce and move away. decided that even if he did return that the trust had been destroyed anyway, and he had already chosen her over me, and didn't care if i was devistated, had no food, or money, he simply did not care, which was alot harder to deal with than the affair. can't make him see any sense can't appeal to his sense of fairness, as he may live by a different set of morals, and a different belief system. yes after 10 years, and an uncertin future it is scarey, as we have lost our self confidence, our self worth, and plus we tend to wonder what we did to cause it, well has nothing to do with you, this is about him, and some woman who went after him, cause she saw worth in him, that she didn't see in her husband. time to distance yourself, get a job if u don't have one, and move on. distance yourself, show him you do have self worth, and don't beg him to do what he should be doing anyway, just not worth it. he wants to party, not much you can do to change his mind, this is just who he is, and part of his character, not your falt, this was something u had no control over, takes time to get over the hurt, get into a good support group, they have them in almost every city, meet with others who are suffering. best to just get rid of them, as usually when u take them back, it always happens again. not worth it to invest our love, into someone who doesn't love us. and it's usually over lust and sex that they will be tired of in a year, but they can't see it now. he lacks integredy, and his character is bad, do u really want to live like this your entire life. u miss and grieve what u wanted your marriage to be, and it wasn't, as not all marriages are meant to be.

Answer 9

Are you a christan or is he there is a lot you left out but I do know it takes two and it,s not just one persons fault so go get your man and set him down and talk it out lay your acrds onthe table and if that does not work srart working on your self

Answer 10

If you are still attracted to a man who obviously doesn't respect you, I feel badly for you.