He cheated 11/2yr just because he could . I pampered him in every way
he wants to work it out.The only way I can stay is to get even. I don't care if he knows or not . I can handle the fall out. Should I leave and start healing. 10 yrs 2 kids
2006-12-05 11:42:36 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Almost married seven years, he cheated too, i got revenge it just made things worse, then what they already are. Have more respect, but 1 thing, let me tell you this, if you let him cheat once, trust me he will do it again, because he basically has your permission, since you didnt do anything about it...
2006-12-05 11:45:36 · answer #1 · answered by ~*Jenny*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was once the cheater in the marriage. Its rough on that end. But its also made me wiser. Of course he wants to work it out. He thinks there is hope now. Its given him something to focus his energy and emotions in. If you do not keep him focused however (which is impossilbe just about) then it will only happy again. He also only sees his needs. He doesn't understand how this has affected you. He doesn't understand why you can't forgive and forget and focus your enegry on making the relationship better.
You need to walk away. It will not be sweet revenge. And if you sleep with someone to get back at him it will only make the situation worst. Walk away. It is a mess and only a small percent can over come it. If his reason was because he could..then he's not even worth sinning against.
2006-12-05 20:40:52 · answer #2 · answered by ladie_eclipse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go back with him if thats your thought to get even with him only then you'll take him back. Even though he has hurt you and I know pain . For you to hurt him back. shows me that you can't really love him that much as your first thought is to bring pain back onto the one you love. Yes he did a bad thing. but two wrongs dont' make a right. He probably feels bad enough already by you doing this for spit isn't what its all about. No body's perfect and there will be times when you slip up maybe not for the same thing but you hope he dones't play the same game on you tit for tat. If you want this to work. You take him back cause you love him and you can work this out together.
and if you can't or arn't prepared to do that. then your not ready to take him back 100%. there should be no fooling him and getting him back. thats a no no. YOu can be pissed you can tell him how it made you feel and that you won't put up with that kind of abuse of what ever he has done. But you don't have to show him by doing the same thing and finding some guy to cheat with just so your even.
Good luck.
2006-12-05 22:47:47 · answer #3 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just get out. Why be with someone when you know their cheating. It only hurts more in the long run. Yeah getting even seems like the easy way out, but its not a good example to show your kids, plus you'll still feel the same way about your husband. Make things easier and leave with your kids, or make him leave.
2006-12-05 19:48:59 · answer #4 · answered by PfcsBaby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
revenge will hurt only u, to heal one must forgive, and move on, forgiveness does not let him off the hook, he still did what he did, but turn it over to a higher authority to deal with him. i too wanted revenge at first, well its been three years now, since i divorced him, sold everything, and moved away. recently discovered he is living in a run down mobile, and he is unable to work, cause he has cancer, never wished it on him, and it don't make me feel good either inspite of how i felt when it first happened. move on get away, no matter how many times we think we can't never be hurt again, we still hurt whenever we find out of cheating and betrayal. get out of it now, revenge isn't not the answer, revenge will just hurt u. u will just live a hell as u are tring to get revenge on him. he really isn't worth it, why dignify what he did to u, let someone else deal with him.
2006-12-05 19:57:56 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Revenge is not the answer. Yes it will hurt him, but it will turn you into a bitter and twisted witch. In the end, it will hurt you and the kids more than it will hurt him.
If the only way you can deal with it is to leave, do it.
2006-12-05 20:20:45 · answer #6 · answered by Kylie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
anyone's first reaction is to get revenge, but that will not change the fact that he cheated or that you got hurt. I will say the best revenge is to leave him and move on. You will get the satisfaction to know that he will never get a woman as good as you. Girl, just move on!!!
2006-12-05 21:17:12 · answer #7 · answered by zakaramommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you are only going to stay because of revenge...no get out now....think of the kids...
you can get plenty of revenge by taking him to court and making him pay child support... i would actually kick him out, keep the house and everything in it...and tell him to go with whatever he cheated with....
once a cheater always a cheater and us being women need to think about our children and how this affects them...
2006-12-05 19:50:44 · answer #8 · answered by luvutaz1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it. Forgive him if he's a good guy. I'm sure your marraige is worth saving. Marraige is a sacred thing and he was wrong, but you made a vow to God when you got married. So take it to the Lord.
2006-12-05 20:07:45 · answer #9 · answered by Jonah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a deep breath and leave. Revenge is not worth it.
2006-12-05 20:36:10 · answer #10 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋