This question is a little personal but I really want some advice. My husband is the kind of person that loves sex, like every other day. But I am 12 wks pregnant and since I have been pregnant he has had sex with my once. I'm not normally all that sexual and just give it to him because he wants it. But now my hormones are RAGING and he isnt satisfying my wants. I dont know if he is scared to do it because I am pregnant or what but I am getting very very sexually frustrated. I feel like I'm going to explode. I've tried everything to get him to be with me and he just won't. What is so wrong with me that he doesnt want me anymore? What can I do to fix this problem for him?(whatever that problem may be). I dont know what to do I am very frustrated. He makes me feel like sometimes that he isnt attracted to me anymore and that maybe he's wanting a divorce or something. Im sure this is untrue but i am a very insecure person. I'm just rambling on now..lol...so just give me some opinions.
2006-12-05 11:18:28 · 27 answers · asked by Crystal Woods 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
God, that sounds like every day of my life... My husband never wants to have sex. Its not my fault, I own stock in victoria secret and have dozens of OTHER guys talk about having sex with me... so i cant be all THAT bad...
But god it makes me feel disgusting.
And ever since Ive been pregnant my hormones have been WAAAAY worse, ive literally been a sex machine, but if i asked him to have sex he'd say no, not now, or maybe later. grrr. Its not like its every day either... whats wrong with sex a couple times a week? or even once a week? Jeez.
I just stopped asking, and started getting naked and tearing his clothes off. lol. That honestly works waay better than asking for it.
My husband says its beacause he's over whelemed with the whole new baby thing, the fear of the baby being part of the situation... being weirded out by my body's changes and everything. He says iam not unattractive or anything, its just weird to suddenly have DDD boobs and a baby belly....
I dont know what the deal is with these husbands. But i'd seriously have a sit down chat with him and let him know you have needs, and that they really need met. He's not going to hurt the baby, especially if he lets you do all the work and call all the shots.
Remind him too that the baby is in a bag, in water, in a big muscle called the uterus, and all that is blocked by a very thick cervix, so he's not going to touch the baby, scare the baby, or otherwise involve the baby in the sexual experience. I knwo those were my hubby's worries.
Why cant a wife get ravaged by her husband every once in a while? Is that really too much to ask for?
Jeez.
2006-12-05 11:27:19 · answer #1 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off let me say, You're not alone. You're not the only one out there feeling like this, and you should never be ashamed of it. There is help out there, and you will never be expected to go through things alone. Don't ever think it's all your fault, nor are you a terrible daughter. I agree that you need to talk about it with someone. So, you don't want to talk about it with your boyfriend. Thats okay! (but, If he's a decent boyfriend he will support you ang help you work it out) Try talking to a close friend, failing that a counselling service. Yeah, that may sound scary, or sh!t, but ultimatley thats what they do. thier job is to listen to and help you. If it;s viable, perhaps take some time away from home, and your mum. Spend a week at a friends, or a grandparent's or soemthing. Space can always help. other than that, I really stress that Counselling is a fantastic & confidential service, If you need it, it's there. Good luck & all the Best The Ninja.
2016-05-22 22:29:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many men find it hard to have sex with their pregnant wife, some men never get over it & they don't have sex till after baby. Ask him why & maybe he will be willimg to try new (non vaginal) things so you both can be satisfied. Also many men get very stressed about a baby even if you are stable, talk to him he may just feel overwhelmed, do you have a sex drive when you are...probably not. Good Luck
2006-12-05 11:30:00 · answer #3 · answered by notAminiVANmama 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They way my sex life goes is when one wants it the other doesnt. The last time my husband and I had sex was on 11/23, when i got pregnant. Now I dont want it and he does. The best thing to do is try and compromise. My husband is not very happy about my sex drive, but with my last pregnancy, we had sex at 33 weeks and not again untill our daughter was 1 month old. All you can do is try and compromise, one might do it when they dont want to and vise versa. Good luck and congrats on the baby
2006-12-05 11:25:50 · answer #4 · answered by kristin h 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its probably because he is scared and doesnt want to hurt the baby. Just tell him everything you have said here.. you put it perfectly and see what he says. At your next ob appoitment take him with you and ask the doctor about sex while pregnant. The doc might be able to put your husbands fears to rest. Good Luck and Congrats!
As to what alpha troll said: Most men think that their wives are most beautiful while pregnant with their child.
2006-12-05 11:23:12 · answer #5 · answered by Kristin Pregnant with #4 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is probably scared of hurting the baby. That is how my "ex"husband was when I was pregnant with his child. He was terrified of the baby knowing what was going on or the baby coming out with a dent on his head, none of which can happen. Talk to him about it and ensure him that the baby will be fine. Tell him how you feel and it may change things. Good luck sweetie, and you can always satisfy yourself.=)
2006-12-05 11:23:09 · answer #6 · answered by Mommy To Be in April 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried talking to him about it? Asking us isn't going to get to the bottom of the problem. Yeah, when I was pregnant I couldn't get enough either. And my hubby was scared to death that he'd hurt me. So, like you, I ended up nearly going out of my mind from want. I finally asked him, point-blank, why he wouldn't go near me, and he said he was afraid he would hurt me or the baby. I had him talk to my midwife on the phone (less personal that way), and he got the answers to all his questions. After that, he was still a bit nervous, but he felt much better. And we both had a lot of fun as I got bigger, playing little games, and trying out new positions to get around that big belly!
2006-12-05 11:29:54 · answer #7 · answered by Angela M 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have you told him that your desire is much higher now? Also tell him that he ought to take advantage of you wanting it lots now because once the baby comes you'll either be tired or the baby will be needing one or both of you for his/hers needs. There is nothing wrong with you at all. It is rather ironic that when a women is pregnant she can't get enough sex. My husband loved it.
2006-12-05 11:28:18 · answer #8 · answered by goldensparkler61 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
congratulation on the new baby! this is the time for you both to be happy.Ii think you need to talk to him about what is wrong with you both: if he is worried about hurting the baby then the worry is over the baby is protected inside. thats the way god made our body. iI think things are going on that are not really there. if you can talk to him then do so. but if you can you need to get back on the same track you were on before you found out the good news. if things don't change then you both need to go to the doctor. good luck., on the soon to be angel.
2006-12-05 11:41:33 · answer #9 · answered by bluebear 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a guy and I know he's still attracted to you, but he's very afraid of hurting the baby. Tell him your girlfriends had sex when they were pregnant and the nurses said it was OK too. This should work, but if it doesn't, do it yourself while he's looking.
2006-12-05 11:33:03 · answer #10 · answered by spir_i_tual 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋