Hubby is at the hospital with his bro. and their mother is in serious condition.Alzimers and waiting to see what they are going to do with her. She had a CT scan and may transport her to another hospital.Being 87 I have seen her go down to the point that she doesnt know me or hubby. It's heart wrenching to see her this way as in I feel helpless . What can I do? She may to be put in a home and that will just make her days become shorter. If you have some comment it will be appreciated. Thanks.
2006-12-05 11:00:43 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's part of life. Although I don't directly deal with a parent or inlaw in that condition, my wife has worked in an adult family home and I've been around Alzheimers patients a lot. It is a tough situation to be in, but what you need to know is that all she really needs is to be comfortable. She will go through a lot of emotional ups and downs, but she can be happy even in her condition. Alzheimers patients sometimes can remember things from childhood and these things can really brighten their day. For example, my wife had this patient who used to be a music teacher all her life, and she has forgotten pretty much everything, but my wife is a singer, so she started singing to her while doing her work. One time she was singing Edelweis to her, and she just brightened up and you could tell she was so happy but she just didn't know how to express it. That spark that seems to disapear from the eye of the Alzheimers patient, well, it does come back sometimes.
Think of some things that might have been close to your mother in law's heart when she was younger... music, photo of something, painting, doll, pet... anything. She might not be able to tell you she appreciates those things, but she most likely does.
Nobody is expecting you to find a miracle cure for her, and you and your husband can't be there for her every moment, but if you just make an effort to give them a little love, that's really all that you can do, and that's all they need. (Alzheimers patients)
By the way, thee are good homes out there, and there are good caregivers out there who have a heart for these kinds of people, so I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that her days will become shorter, but even if they do, that's less suffering for her.
2006-12-05 11:20:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have my 80 yr old mother in law living with us after 2 severe strokes about 7 yrs ago. In my case she has hated me for the last 27 yrs so this is the ultimate nightmare situation as our lives revolve around her. Even my daughters hate the fact that gma is here. Nothing you can do but in my case there hasnt been a day I havent prayed for her to move on quietly but each day she is still with us. Having a disabled elder living with you is not easy as it causes hardships in the marriage and everytime I bring it up all I hear is "but its my mom" and just keep quiet to preserve status quo. Hope you dont have to try this way of life. My mil has alzheimers so she doesnt always remember names of us and gets real mad when she cant say what she wants. Feel sorry for her in a way and dont want to really see her live like a vegetable but really puts a strain on the family. Good luck
2006-12-05 19:11:37 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is hard for all of us when parents get old. that particular disease makes nearly all memory disappear. the facts are that when that happens, she will no longer resemble the person you knew. her days may be shorter but she won't realize it. i am sorry for what is to come. my prayers go out to you.
2006-12-05 19:13:22 · answer #3 · answered by sinned 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All of us have, hon. We all live too long. know this doesn't give you any comfort, but just realize, we have all had parents age, no longer know us, and die in diapers......
2006-12-05 19:05:24 · answer #4 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋