The mother of my child, whom I love and live with, has recently began talking to one of her former boyfriends. He is going thru a divorce (He was married while he was seeing her.) right now and all of a sudden he wants to communicate with her. She sends him little kiss face emotes and has told him she's having dreams about him...Good ones, if you know what I mean..and it's beginning to bother me something fierce. I've about lost any trust in her I had and I can see something coming, but I'm not sure what it is. I guess I'm afraid the light at the end of the tunnel is a freight train... And yes, I love her. We have (had?) plans on getting married after the new year. Help?
2006-12-05 10:48:04 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Troy...you sound like you are a pretty wise man. Chances are she is not over him. Like you mentioned, she was the other woman while he was married. I do not believe in the saying "once a cheater always a cheater" but by what you said she is saying to this man, she is not making it easy to not apply this saying to her. I would not doubt that something has or will happen between the 2 of them. This whole scenario sounds very similiar and the end result does not turn out good especially for you. My suggestion would be is to tell her to stop contacting him because what the 2 of them are talking about is very hurtful to you. You know what you need to do if she continues. I definitely would not make any plans for marriage. You already know you can't say you trust her fully. I am sorry for your child but marrying her is not going to make it better. Best of luck and do not allow her to continue to hurt you this way.
2006-12-05 11:59:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, I think youre right, youre about to be splattered by a freight train. Sorry. The only good thing is this is happening before you got married to her, not that now is any easier but the most she can get you for is child support unless you go after custody which is not going to be easy as the courts favor awarding custody to the mother unless shes unfit. But Id watch them closely just in case of abuse or endangerment situation arises and then run her back into court for your childs sake. Sorry and good luck
2006-12-05 11:02:16 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
AW I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT. HON IF YOU REALLY LOVE EACH OTHER THERE ISN'T ANYTHING OR ANYBODY WHO WILL SPLIT YOU UP. MAYBE YOUR JUMPING TO THE WRONG CONCLUSION SHE MAY JUST BE TRYING TO CHEER HIM UP. YES SHES FLIRTING WITH HIM BUT DON'T PUT TOO MUCH EMPHASIS ON IT.
IT MAY NOT MEAN A THING.
HAVE YOU HEARD THE SAYING IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING SET IT FREE IF IT COMES BACK TO YOU ITS YOURS IF IT DOESN'T IT NEVER WAS. ITS PROBABLY BETTER THAT YOU FIND OUT NOW RATHER THAN LATER, ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU PLANNED TO MARRY HER.
SIT HER DOWN TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS ,AND BE COMPLETELY HONEST.
IF ITS MEANT TO BE YOU WILL SURVIVE THE STORM SO TO SPEAK. ASK HER WHAT HER INTENTIONS ARE REGARDING THIS OTHER MAN.
ANYWAY DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT NOW. CROSS THAT BRIDGE WHEN YOU COME TO IT.
THAT KIND OF STRESS WILL PUT STRESS ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP. WAIT AND SEE WHAT TRANSPIRES.
DON'T FORGET ABOUT IT ENTIRELY THOUGH.
BUT DON'T HARP ON IT EITHER, NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO CHANGE IT IF ITS GONNA HAPPEN.
ANYWAY I'. LET HER KNOW WHAT SHE'S DOING IS WRONG .AM SORRY TO HEAR THAT
TAKE CARE
2006-12-05 11:01:25 · answer #3 · answered by celestialangel43 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to rekindle the spark you had with her that made her want to marry you. Don't just sit there while all this is going on. Make an effort to spend time alone with her and make her feel special and loved. Do not, in any way compare yourself to her ex, and do not complain about her relationship with him. Try not to even mention him at all - it's all about you two, not her ex. Good luck.
2006-12-05 11:01:13 · answer #4 · answered by stargirllll4311 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i would put the marriage plans on hold at least for now. you have to talk to her and tell her how u feel, and how this trust issuse affects every aspesct of your relationship. if she loves you she'll understand and do whatever it takes on her part to make things right. it won't happen overnite, and you's might need some counseling. good luck!
2006-12-05 11:01:36 · answer #5 · answered by jdchick48 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with "teresa.edmonds", it's time for you two to have a serious talk. To make sure you both are on the same page, commitment & trust wise.
2006-12-05 11:18:50 · answer #6 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would not be unreasonable of you to ask her to stop communicating with this guy; what she's doing in inappropriate. Talk to her and ask her straight up what's up, and if you two are still getting married as planned.
2006-12-05 10:52:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have you talked to her about this? If not then I would talk to her about it. I wouldn't tell her to stop all communications with him but I would tell her how much it bothers you.
2006-12-05 12:00:54 · answer #8 · answered by xnightshade17 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok stop and talk to her right away she is already doing to much. him or you. once you lose trust its to hard to get back.
2006-12-05 11:05:03 · answer #9 · answered by teresa.edmonds@sbcglobal.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her how u feel.
2006-12-05 10:52:16 · answer #10 · answered by Nana B 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋