why are people againts spanking their kids?

Question

it seriously didn't hurt me and it taught me a lesson. Why do people care if I spank my kids/babies (not new-born babies but like +24 mths)?

Answer 1

I actually think that a lot of younger parents like myself are rejecting all the Nanny 911, etc. stuff, are sick and tired of bratty kids, and are returning to some of the ways parents have raised children for centuries and that includes spanking.

I have an open question here on whether younger parents are now spanking more:http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AjWk.13hMwQqCxUOL7dAH_Dsy6IX?qid=20061202014006AAfWssI

The problem started in the 1950's with some unscientific advise that spanking be abandoned. This happened at the same time as the rise of pop psychology and the break down of the extended family.

Since then there are been some studies which purport to show that spanking is ineffective and harmful. These studies are taken as such gospel truth by the media. And so it has crept into our collective minds that it is a proven fact that spanking is bad, even though this is largely just a myth.

The surpising thing is that there are very good studies which have demonstrated that spanking causes no harm and is in fact the most effective way to get children to comply with the wishes of their parents.

I have discussed the problems with the "spanking will destroy the child and society" research and the research which has found the opposite (and which no one ever hears about) in : http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-GgIFACYzfqWx8YwvtspSWVmWzA--?cq=1&p=793

Answer 2

I am a parent and spank my daughter as the last resort. I think spanking is fine, not the spankings I got when I was a kid though, because my dad used to beat us with a paddle or an army utility belt and that crap hurt! I don't think people should spank their kids when they are mad though, my dad would just be angry at us and one little thing got us a spanking. When I got older I started fighting back, because I knew I didn't deserve to be hit. My daughter does some extreme stuff sometimes, but I can't spank her because most of the time it is my fault for not watching her closely. But I think spanking is good for a child as the last resort, after telling what they are doing is wrong and time out has been exhausted.

Answer 3

This is a good scripture to the person that posted it:
Proverbs 13:24
If you refuse to discipline your children, it proves you don't love them; if you love your children, you will be prompt to discipline them

But to answer this question; I would not spank/hit my son (though he is 3 mo. now) because when I was young it did nothing for me. For that second yes, but all I did was laugh to cancel out the pain.What really worked was when my dad made me stand on my knees facing a wall and holding 2 cans in my hands with my arms up for 30 minutes.

Spanking your children will just seperate them from you ,rather than listen. It will instill fear of you rather than authority. That is what you want to accomplish. When you take something away from them like freedom and toys they learn that everything is ran by you the parent and not "oh my God the monster." I watch that show the nanny and in reality there is no reason to hit your child. My mother started doing that with my little brother and he just hit her back. It is human nature to defend yourself.

Your child is a human that is learning, have patience and flip the script. I think that hitting/spanking is a lame excuse for disciplining your children. There are far more intelligent ways to get your children to listen. After all your children learn and repeat what they see and hear. Take that to heart and you will find great ways to keep both your child and your position intact.

You are their parent not their keeper.

Answer 4

It's been proven to increase anger and fear in a child.

It's without a doubt effective, but it's not the ONLY way, and I think non-physical means should be tried in behavior modification of a child before a physical one is sought.

From a child's eyes, they stop doing said act because they are afraid to get spanked, but they really don't stop doing it because they know it's wrong. Children should be taught to behave because it pleases their parents, not because not-behaving displeases their parents.

I'm not really sure whether my personal experience with spanking is different from others, but my parents used to lean me over their knee and left red marks. I'd be lying if I said it didn't sting. I know my parents love me, and the physical punishments stopped when I was about 7, but it was just traded in for other too-harsh punishments and lots of yelling. I didn't personally start having a good relationship with my parents until they stopped yelling and punishing me, and asked why I was doing certain things wrong and rewarded me for being honest about my troubles, instead of punishing me when they found out what I'd done.

This didn't begin until I was about 16 or 17, and 16 or 17 years is a hell of a long time to spend having a bad relationship with your children. So, it's not so much spanking that I have a problem with, it's the whole method of teaching children to be well-behaved or else something horrible will happen to them. I'd rather have children who are behaved because they know that it pleases me, and that it's the right thing to do, who will come to me when they are having troubles instead of doing things I don't approve of behind my back.

For instance, a great cause of contention in my house when I was a young teen (14) or so, was over grades and my efforts I put into school work. I was getting A's and B's, but my parents expected all A's. This lead to screaming matches, and me being grounded for 2 weeks. So what insentive did I have to come to my parents and tell them I was having trouble with school? None. I was afraid of punishment, so I'd hide it when I had bad grades instead of ask for help. A lot of parents don't realize that the impression they leave on their children (spanking), will eventually turn into more ineffective parenting (punishment, very loud yelling) once they get older. So, I think it would just be better to start practicing better teaching techniques while children's lives are more controllable. A 3 year old isn't going to sneak out of the house and do drugs, but when they turn 15 and still don't have a good relationship with their parents, they might.

Answer 5

Well, when i was really little, and before my parents got divorced my dad always spanked us, even for things we didn't do. and now my little brother (9 years old) gets in big fights at school and has just been meaner. Over time he just got used to it all. So if you do, please dont all of the time, because when your children get older, they might tell people (i.e. friends) and that stuff gets around really fast. (uhm...take it from a 'kid', i'm 13 yrs old.)
:D

Answer 6

I think because people see so many people that are spanking very inappropriately and then assume that everyone is like that, which is not true.

Answer 7

Their is nothing wrong with spanking I was when I was growing up and I turned out a good person. I will do the same with my kids.

Answer 8

I agree, spankings are what get it done and get it done right.

Parents who choose not to spank are the ones who would rather be a friend then a parent. They always have the lamest excuses as well such as "hitting teaches hitting" or "it only teaches them that its okay for a big person to hit a little person" or even "they might think I don't love them if I spank them".

Well guess what? Kids hit whether they are spanked or not. It's only human nature to raise a hand to someone.

It also doesn't teach them that its okay for big people to hit little people, you know why? Because when I was spanked that thought never crossed my mind.

And about the love thing, sometimes the loving hand is the spanking hand. I was spanked as a child and never once did I doubt my parents love for me.

Answer 9

Not everyone is opposed, in fact I think it is coming back into favor in many areas. I was spanked as a child and I spank my children.

Answer 10

Because some people see it as wrong to bring physical pain to their children just to teach them a lesson.